All Comments on 'Daddy's New Girl Pt. 04'

I like the theme, and while personally some, acts were a bit too hard core for me I will say this. You are an excellent writer, and it seems that your writing style grew from chapter to chapter however chapter one left so much confusion for me. In the interest of being completely fair and giving an example, chapter one was felt rushed it came in stages, Stage one- Meet the protagonist, Stage 2- his wife calls him to say she needs a break, Stage 3- she spends the entire break teasing him with videos and pictures bUT gives no reason why, by chapter 2 the protagonist is saying he is getting a divorce but that was never stated, by chapter 3 I have no understanding as to where the wife gets the new girl or her significance, nor is it understood why she takes the break but dosent play with her sub, by chapter 4 the only thing I get is that this guy has a best friend and frenemy of a wife and to painsluts, I feel you didn't pay enough attention to detail to all aspects of your story, and some detail and you could get a better following for this. All in all I'm rating you a hefty 3 stars at this time, 1 star for fluid sex scenes that didn't seem forced by the author, 1 star for grammar and punctuation, and finally one star as a freebie because 1 I feel like this is your first story, 2 this review was nitpicky and harsh. My only intention is to help ypu grow as a writer and to be able to spread your many themes to your readers, that said please don't take my criticism of your work as a reason to stop writing it's truly the only way you can get better. 3/5.