All Comments on 'Dad's Kinky New Wife'

I got to "shaved my coochir" and had to stop being I couldn't stop laughing and I know you didn't write that to be intentionally hilarious because you followed it up by having her call herself a straight laced woman literally no human woman has said that about herself

I started reading this but by the time I was about a quarter way through I was speed reading which continued to the end, missing more and more words out.

I like the storyline but I don't think it came over very well and it felt inconsistant.

Harvey32

WTF are you talking about? Do you even know what 'tenuous' means? If you're going to use big words (and I suspect you've never used the word 'tenuous' before in your entire life) or new words, FFS look them up first. 'Tenuous', described below:

Wikipedia definition (free to all, give it a try next time):

Tenuous:

very weak or slight.

"the tenuous link between interest rates and investment"

synonyms: slight, insubstantial, flimsy, negligible, weak, fragile, shaky, sketchy, doubtful, dubious, questionable, suspect;

More

very slender or fine; insubstantial.

"a tenuous cloud"

synonyms: fine, thin, slender, attenuated, delicate, gossamer, fragile

"a tenuous thread"

Ergo, if a scream is tenuous, then it's not a scream, it's a friggin' stage-whisper, read, learn, remember, employ properly.

That first sentence was pretentious and meaningless enough to switch me off. And FYI, no sane adult uses the word 'coochie' either; it belongs back in kindergarten, which is where I suspect your vocabulary originates. No stars.

That word was intentional for a specific purpose. It wasn't a mistake.

I appreciate your post. Although negative in tone, it was more detailed than most and I do understand that it was meant to point out a perceived deficiency. I feel your wrong in this instance because I use the term within the boundaries of the definition as a means to relay information to the reader.

Perhaps I failed to convey the intent of that sentence properly. Overall, the story was written to improve my writing. It requires a skill for an author to tell a story in the form of words that properly describe the scene playing out in their mind. The difficulty is expressing it properly to the reader so that they visualize the same.

Your post did provide insight. I tend to overthink my words on a different level than most. All in all, with that paragraph, I may have failed the most basic premise of writing, which is, keep it simple, stupid (that's me, not the reader).

When I post a story to Literotica, I pretty much put my head on a chopping block. I take that chance because I hope the reader will provide feedback in a manner that helps me improve. Honestly, I do admit that some of the comments urge me to break my pencil. However, I've come to expect it now.

Within the confines of my own mind, I do feel I'm improving with each additional story.

Anyway, as the author of this story, I wanted to at least post a response.

I have an abundance of stories that continuously bang on the inside of my skull and beg to be released. However, the influx of negative comments for this particular story might be a sign that I need to take a break from writing. Then again, I do often receive positive feedback and that often stirs a motivation to pick up the pen. It becomes a tug of war within my own conscience.

Regardless, at the very least, I thank the reader for their attempt to read the story.

Rusty Zipper

Is there a part 2 to this story?

First, and most important, nobody is paying you to write the story they want, and whatever you write, someone will find fault with it; that being the case, you should post the story YOU want to tell, not the story you think you should be telling, carefully edited to garner as few negative opinions as possible, or conversely pandering to the opinions of those who liked it; if they liked part one, the same people will probably like part two, and those who didn't like part one will carp and complain about part two anyway, no matter how good it is.

My advice is to take them all in your stride, without taking them seriously, and post the story you want, written the way you want to write it.

Yes, there are errors, this is what happens on a learning curve, none of them are disastrously idiotic errors, and as you progress, they'll iron themselves out; when I look at the stuff I wrote when I first began posting here my instinct is to erase it all; some of that stuff is dire, I mean just bloody awful; in the 5 years since then, I think I've learned enough not to repeat those errors, you will too.

I used to dither around and worry endlessly about who was going to criticise, or downgrade, or be nasty, or try and get me to re-tell it their way, or pile on warped, weird, or just plain insane suggestions, or flat-out One-bomb any and every story I posted.

I had my own moment of clarity a few years back, when I took down a series that was savaged by a few people, because I thought they were seeing something I'd missed, and my moment happened when I realised none of the critics mattered, that my series was good, that I didn't have to take anything they said personally as a judgement on me, and that the people who liked and asked for more in the same vein outnumbered the haters and the know-all's by a healthy margin; they were my real audience, and they liked what I did. Life here on Lit became a lot more ordered and a lot less fraught for me from that point.

Now I post stories now and then, and if they hit, they hit, if they bomb, they bomb; either way I'm happy, because I posted what I wanted, not what I imagined other people wanted, or might like, or wouldn't dislike enough to cry foul. If anyone suggests 'you should have done such-and-such', my immediate response is 'go on then, write a story that tells it that way, then that'll be your story, not mine, and we'll both be happy'. It might do wonders for your peace of mind if you look at things that way too.

(I should note in passing that a thicker skin is probably also worth cultivating, and a few protective rough surfaces.)

in closing, I would like to venture that the opinions of the readers here, while interesting, and often valuable or insightful, shouldn't be the only thing that directs you to write and tell stories, or influence your urge to be a storyteller.

Sermon over, now to find some vodka with my name on it,

Will, aka beachbum1958

I don't mean the story although it needs some imagination and is difficult to engage with but their dialogue, particularly his, is ridiculous, no-one talks like that and they certainly wouldn't in their situation.

He fitted her with a cock-ring?? How did he do that? Do you even know what a cock-ring is?

It could have been good but it wasn't.

Mister Zipper, First don't ever apologize to anyone who will not put his name next to a comment. If they want to criticize you, they better say who they are,, or they're not worth the time of day. Second, this was a damned interesting story. The test of that is you had me from the first paragraph. If you can do that to any reader, it's a winner. You've got the daughter confused, you've got the father confused, and you've got the husband playing ringmaster. The husband's prime objective from the outset is to get the mother-in-law in bed. Does he get her there, how does he go about doing it, is he successful doing it, what are the repercussions, that is the story. That is the way you tell your story. I don't care if you get one star or five it is always your story, and I liked it well enough to give you four stars. Bob/Prolonged_Debut10 Oh by the way, The rest of you non-writers, who wish to criticize those of us who attempt to write for your pleasure, remember the price of admission is free, you can always ask for a refund at the door.

I'm glad that there wasn't a chapter 2 right away, because I would have missed a good story. I can say now I'm interested in seeing what the author has in mind for them all. I know what I would like to see, but these aren't my characters. Good story!

This story took some complex and twisted turns . I appreciate the ambition of an newbie author who is still finding his voice to pull this labyrinth of subplots, multiple POVs and open ended possibilities. In a perfect world maybe Rusty_Zipper cut his teeth on more conventional plots and then pulls this concept off.

Well there were clunkers and there were inspired moments. There also was HUMOR I love that quality. For rookie effort and grand ambition I rate this at 5 stars although the bar goes up next time around. Frankly what Paul and mum - in-law might be up to has me curiouser then litter of kittens.

Full marks *****

I didn't like it and it was more then seedy as it was messed up that someone could mess with someone's mind like that and involve others.

There was no bdsm, just a twisted person forcing something that wasn't wanted and ruining relationships.

Does anyone else find this confusing?

"If they want to criticize you, they better say who they are,,"

Is your name Prolonged_Debut10? Nope, didn't think so. Your user name is anonymous. Nobody knows who you really are.

If people post anonymously, that's their right. If they want to criticize, that's their right also. I post anonymously because I've had numerous flakes like you that PM'd me with some very rude remarks. So, fuck off with your comment.

Rusty_Zipper, post what you want. If it bombs, then at least you know you posted what you felt like posting. Remember, there's people that like your stuff. Aim to please those readers. Not posting because you get negative comments defeats the purpose of posting what you like.

Personally, your story did nothing for me. But that's just me. Hope my ANONYMOUS comment helps.

In the scheme of things, I’m wasn’t complaining. I was simply posting a response to some readers based on their comments. I tend to be more active and respond to readers more than most. That’s just the way I am. I fully understand that the story is what it. After all, I wrote it. I knew from the get-go that some readers would hate it and others would find enjoyment from it. After all, It’s always been those few that I strive to write for. It's never been my intention to please all as that's simply impossible.

In many ways, I’m bit unique than most. I can say this because readers have told me so. I don’t write the romance. I find it impossible to direct my thoughts in that direction. I have my own genre of stories that I lean towards, which is why some readers like my stories. Almost every story I write contains some aspect of manipulation, non-consent, reluctance or combination of all. The reasons my stories drift that direction is mainly because that’s the type of stories I like to read.

No one in real life reacts sexually in the manner depicted in my stories. If they do, I’m not aware of it. To make a person react outside normal behavior requires an outside influence. Whether it’s manipulation, drugs, mind control, blackmail, forced, etc… One of them is usually the base catalyst that drives one to perform outside the norm. In other words, if you're looking for consensual romantic love, my stories probably won’t be your cup of tea. If you're into erotica that tips more towards porn/smut, then I’ll do my best to please.

Overall, I do strive to eliminate mistakes, but there comes a time that a writer has to find a point of satisfaction. There’s only so many times I can read, rewrite, reread, rewrite, etc… I have to find my happy place. In this specific story, I was comfortable with it and felt it was ready for submittal. Whether it is or not is up to the reader’s interpretation. Basically, I was satisfied with the results. I’m still a work in progress, but I’ve found a style of writing that I’m comfortable with.

Believe it or not, for the first time, my wife proofread this story and actually offered suggestions that might add some realism to the possibility that something like this could occur. In regards to this, I did try to make it possible. Yes, I agree, I probably could have tweaked the dialog a bit better. I know. Some of it comes off a bit quirky. In regards to this story, the old saying stands; it is what it is.

Most readers don’t realize that most of my stories have a plot (sometimes complex) and contain clues that require thought. I believe that’s not normally expected in these types of stories. For example, if you read this story I gave a hint at the beginning and in the last section, in regards to Carol calling her husband, the bastard.

Towards the end, Carol was once again bound to the bed. I made reference to the bastard tieing her up. Most readers never picked up the fact that the bastard wasn’t her father. One commentator, who was upset with the story, believed the father tied her up and fitted her with a cock-ring. The gentleman either didn’t read the story carefully or skimmed through it. Regardless, it required thought to pick up on it. It was written especially that way for that specific purpose. Sometimes I’m successful in my attempt to relay that info to the reader and sometimes not. Perhaps it depends on how engaged the reader is with the story.

As for humor, yes. I thank the poster that pointed that out. I actually do have a sense of humor. You’ll find that I do add a few quips here and there to engage the reader. I actually laugh at my own words from time to time.

As you can tell, I like to write. It’s rare when I write less than two paragraphs. This post is an example of it.

One of the reasons I decided to post this was to allow the reader to see that I’m actually a real person. Not an automaton with metal digits attached to a keyboard. I’m also not a kid as was inferred by one poster. I fully understood that It was directed as an insult. Frankly, what I lack in talent, doesn’t compare to the level of my intellect, which might surprise some. I’m definitely not a youngin, no matter much I wished I was. Turning that clock back would take an act of God.

Honestly, it’s really not the place for a writer to counter a reader’s interpretation of their work in a negative way. I don’t engage with words what can be said with silence. However, it is a writer’s responsibility to clarify when there's a misinterpretation or when they deem additional information is necessary to resolve conflict within a story. Usually, when I respond, it's to clarify or provide a reason why I wrote something a particular way.

Many readers might be surprised to know that my stories have actually been psychoanalyzed by other readers. That in itself is an honor that prompts a thought. Although I admit that my stories contain typical mistakes and errors, there is a contextual aspect of some of them that actually engaged the reader to think. Many do actually catch those little trinkets of gifts that I hide within my words.

Thanks for giving me this momentary spotlight,

Note to readers: for those that read ‘Bad Medicine Ch. 01’: Chapter 02 is in the process of being written and I expect to post it within a month or two. I’ll work on the second chapters of ‘New Life for New Wife’ and ‘Dad’s Kinky New Wife’ once I’ve completed the other. I’ve also got other stories waiting for me to sing. I hope to can get the tone right on the next one.

Rusty Zipper

Screw romance! I am not here for sappy bullshit. If you want romance there are plenty of stories to suit you. I am glad that was kept out of this story.

I appreciate different because I am different than most women I know. Foreplay is okay but I am going to have an incredible orgasm quicker without it. It takes little time to get me to the point of clawing furniture, so that might be part of it. I also don't understand why people are hung up on the phrase making love. I'd lose interest if my husband said that instead of telling me he wants to fuck. I know I'm not average and I am okay with it. I can orgasm without any stimulation except on my nipples, so that is something I know not many people are able to do.

I am glad this story was written for people like me, and hope to see more from the author. Keep submitting please, and I will continue reading.

I actually made an account just to favorite this story, not so much for the content, but for your writing style. It's extremely rare to find someone who is willing to put in the effort to add descriptive details and focus on punctuation and grammar. I really enjoyed reading this, and I hope you write more! :)

Lol

I've received a lot of feedback that asked whether I was writing chapter two.

Many of those were enthusiastic over the story. My thanks to those that expressed their enjoyment of the story. What happens between the mother and son-in-law? That story most definitely needs to be told. So yes, it's in the process of being written.

It's my hope to make it just as wacky as the first, so expect a wild ride.

Because of the style and subject matter of my stories, I tend to get mixed reactions from readers. It often shifts to the extreme ends of the gauge. Readers either totally hate the story or completely love it. It's either the nature of being a writer or it's specific to how I tell stories.

Anyway, I felt it was a good idea to post that I'm currently writing it. There's definitely going to be a chapter two.

Thanks,

Rusty Zipper

Well written !!! By the end of the story I was feeling sorry for what Carol was going through.

Like Carol I hope her mother was not used by Paul.

Very sad ending to think Paul would do the same thing to her mother.

Loved the entire story.

The only way to salvage this story for me would be for Paul to be castrated without anesthetic with a live cattle prod up his ass. I'm also wondering about her mother. She warned l her daughter, but as she serious or complicit?

I hope you're planning on posting the next segment. The suspense is killin' me!

What an amazing story! Thanks for a great fantasy, and I hope to read more.

What do i say. Too short and too long.... in a good way by the end. I gotta look for part 2.

Hot story, WOW!!