All Comments on 'Dahlia - Birth of an A.I. Ch. 06'

I have vasty enjoyed all of your stories I have read, and am almost always sad when they end, if only for the want of more. But you're right. Come what may, this really is the end of his story. Its not over by any stretch of the imagination, but... its enough.

As far as more in Dahlia's Verse, I'd think another great addition would be the future as you explore some other alien races. Your love harems are always wonderful to read.

PS She giggled, "Nervous dad. Still on schedule, all their immunities are up to date and we even installed the nanites. Although, the AG part is disabled, at least until they're old enough to understand the difference between reality and fiction." (Should be: AR part is disabled, no?) Thanks again.

You had a very interesting twist and put things together well. I would recommend getting a proof reader as there were a lot of syntax errors. such as:

Go get the mail John.

It should be:

Go get the mail, John.

The reason is what is a mail John?

It may sound picky but proper punctuation increases readability.

Great stuff, as always. Sad it's over, I keep refreshing my story feed to see if there's more but at least I know now!

I have read the whole story twice and really loved it . The only problem I found was it came to an end to soon .

A wonderful new universe. Very much hoping you'll have more stories in this space.

Hi. How about what happens when a nasty race comes calling? How would the AI's try to defeat and/or change the nature of a hostile, belligerent race that perhaps has destroyed/enslaved other races?

Truly an exciting sci-fi story, and Paul has to be the luckiest man on this or any other planet! Five well deserved Stars! Thank you for many nights reading.

Thank you for sharing such a wonderful story, and leaving it where you did in the ending, so much more potential for future parts.

NorthPacific

I loved this story. I have read all you have written, however this story really stands out to me. You are one of my favorite Authors on Lit.

I am glad to see AIs that are not crazy. Aliens that don't try to kill everyone. I hate that humans are the bad guys but some really are.

Again thanks for your time in writing and sharing this story.

Ammonon

With their incredibly long lives there must be lots more adventures and problems for them, almost a never ending story!

I liked the story. It was very similar to Ted in a lot of ways and a little too Mary Sue which keeps some of the tension out of the story. But it was a fun jaunt.

I really wish you had continued this story . I was really enjoying it i have read it three times

This is an overall comment on the series. I enjoyed the pacing and progression, the view of humanity in general was pessimistic but probably more accurate than I'd like to think about. The technology was amazing, well thought out and explained. Much more than a stroke story. I like that you didn't get ridiculous with the number of partners or make the guy callous, he was responsible with his power without going megalomaniac. Enough variety to keep it interesting. One question I'm not sure was addressed, do the kids have AI abilities like their mothers or are they just stock humans with a nannite implant like their father? Anyway. You're on my favorite author list for a reason. You did not disappoint.

I love that your stuff is also on Kindle Unlimited. I really enjoyed your Dungeon books!

But there was a ton of over analyzing and internalizing ... a bit too heavy on the cookie cutter sex scenes ... plus it needed more story.

In the afterward, you wrote "...Paul Ashton's story is complete."

I beg to differ.

The biggest, most fundamental theme of this entire story is Paul's moral conflict over the fact that the 4 terran A.I.'s all love and obey him in all things because they're programmed to do so. They are absolute slaves, not just in body but in mind as well. His love for them was driven as much by guilt as by attraction. He constantly wrestled with his own realization that he was a slave-owner and didn't have the power to set them free. The fact that he made only a token effort (in the form of his "standing directives") to grant them any sort of agency shows that he actually is as shallow as he feared in his many bouts of self-pity. He could have at least tried to investigate the possibility of removing that code from their mainframes without damaging who they were. Perhaps it would have been impossible. But he didn't even explore the possibility.

This theme echoes throughout the story and even colors his interactions with Asha right to the very end. And yet, she was the one who handed Paul the solution to his quandary on a silver platter. In the most egregious violation of her own hardwired directives, Asha gave away a huge part of her master's tech to another race that not only didn't have the ability to understand it fully, but strictly speaking, didn't even need it. She transformed the girls from a consciousness that existed electronically on a mainframe into an energy matrix that didn't require a physical anchor of any kind, effectively making them her equals.

Why would she have done this? Paul and the girls already had an adequate solution to the current problem. It wasn’t really necessary. And, if Asha’s masters were around, they surely would have destroyed her for such a breach. The only explanation I can see is; her ability to know Paul even in his deepest thoughts means she’s aware of the guilt, shame and concern he carries for that chain he inadvertently placed around the girls’ necks. Because of he own love for Paul, Asha was giving him the means to break that chain that bound Paul every bit as much as it did Dahlia and her sisters.

Once the girls were transformed into energy beings, Paul could have simply ordered them to disregard that external constraint and to love whomever they choose freely. Finding the courage to let Dahlia and the others choose to love him because they want to instead of because they have to should have been the final act of Paul’s story. Only that would have brought his main theme full circle to a proper conclusion.

Since you obviously were building up to that from page one, my question is; how did you manage to leave those last few pages off this story and call it "done"? And for those who read for more puerile interests, I would imagine the sex for the first time after their emancipation would be so different and freeing that it would be almost virginal to each of them. As well as making all the previous encounters seem like mere foreplay.

You know, at first I was pretty sceptical about this being a SciFi story. I usually tend to dislike them. However, you have proven me wrong. This was an amazing story after all. Thank you so much for your work. Can't wait for your next story!

AI he created still restricted even in enegy form. He still feels guilt from it. Resolution for that?

First off, I loved the story and was surprised (and disappointed) at the end, I could envision Paul setting the 4 free (+1 not sub), in the manner of “if you love something, set it free and it it returns.... etc”, plus I could see Earth coming to it’s senses and joining in with the A.I. enlightened ranks. Tthen finally after a millennia or three and Cassiopeia/Earth etc safely progressing, The A.I. Ladies and Paul ascend to “the Higher Plane of Existence” taking Asha with them for a higher level of love.

P.S. Repetitive descriptions of the bodies of the A.I. women does get wearing, especially when exactly the same words are are used again and again. (Hopefully useful criticism)

Just fucking amazing I love your writing style

And basically just became a flesh dildo for 5 AI women. Yeah they loved him, but he didn't seem to give them anything intellectually. He could have done the AI upgrade too but on a smaller scale, and slowly became one of them. All in all, I loved the story, just kinda bummed me out when he settled.

So basically the story ended right at "4 genies in the bottle", as now they figured out the quantum scanning and energy matter conversion and teleporting, that's technologically 4 genies in the bottle. They could store the quantum scan of the "original" and literally start experimenting with WHATEVER - gene manipulation, just grafting body parts, adding extra capacity/inputs/outputs to the brain - and they always have a full backup available. They could even have like different bodies they can drive remotely with he nanite implants, they don't even have to ruin the original. The extra capacity can just be in the other body that's simply interfaced to the original. All kinds of kinky stuff becomes available. And they have until the end of the universe to explore it. We are pretty much talking about your very own little Q continuum, just without time travel, so far.

The lovey-dovey part is all fun, but lets skip 100000 years and see, how the kinky Saturdays look then. Visiting a fully custom-constructed entertainment planet? Causally disconnected space-time pocket? Living whole separate simulated lives as reincarnated whatever in a virtual construct running a year per minute?

Well it's kind of understandable, how all these options are just too much "absolutely anything can happen" to have real handle for the direction of the story, but..

Great ending to a fine story!!! Please bring Paul and his harem back!!!

So good!!! I’d love to read a further build out of what happens next.

Wish I'd known you were gonna go all Ayn Rand earlier.

Thoroughly enjoyed this series, thank you very much.. Looking forward to reading the rest of your works.

There's a point in all of your stories when your right wing Buzz words start to appear... Usually at that point i either start skimming or just skip to the end...

Too much internal whining by your hero in this one...

-jaye-

It became repetitive and boring in the last two installments. The sex should have been left out and more focus on the new colony as it grew. More information on the children and other aliens. The only saving grace was the depiction of earth leaders as scumbags.

I’ve got to agree with previous comments re the nonsensical right wing views, plus the erotic side of this story got so repetitive as to make reading that part of it pointless. I enjoyed the actual storyline, but for our MC and the “Girls” to pretend to be altruistic whilst making and keeping the best part of a trillion dollars isn’t realistic, even Bill gates came to that realisation a long time ago. Backing humanitarian projects and monitoring them with an AI is a great idea to prevent abuse of the money and a perfect way of offsetting public opinion issues, unless you’ve become sorely attached to that money, at which point the altruism idea loses traction. To put it succinctly this was an ok sci-fi story, a poor erotic story, but an old right wing guys fantasy.

I’ve read this before, it doesn’t stand up as well on a second reading, which is a shame, as I really enjoyed this the first time around. Cheers Ppfzz.

5*****