All Comments on 'Daisy Chain'

Moving along from one character to the next was delightful....when first I clicked on the story, I expected 6 ladies in a circle...but the story became the circle and I loved it...thank you....

Great story idea, and well detailed. Your second chapter was quite confusing , though, because you kept interchanging the two names. There were also several glaring typos through out the story. Otherwise, I really enjoyed it. Keep up the good work!

Written by a male!

YKN,

Male or female, straight, lesbian or gay, you write good stories, BUT, and I think this has been said before, you really must take more care before posting them.

I am elderly and (mostly) impotent, so my interest in the stories is no longer for wank-fodder. I have an education in English and an enormous interest in English literature of ALL kinds, Shakespeare to back alley porn, so please take my following comments as being given for constructive not destructive purpose.

You really must ensure that you do a careful spelling and grammar check before posting; then a very careful re-read in order to correct errors of detail, names transposed between characters, missing words, punctuation, etc; errors like these will ruin the flow of the best of stories even if the reader is wanking themself blind at the time.

You write VERY good stories and, I have no doubt, could, with attention to the above details, make a successful career of writing, even porn, if couched in the right way, can be commercially viable.

I wish you the very best and the greatest of success in your future writing, here or out in the wider world, you really do deserve it.

This is a good story. The sex is hot, and you obviously put some thought into it. I appreciate that this is you sharing your story for free, but you need to proof read. Spelling errors and typos detract from the praise worthy aspects of your writing. It doesn't have to be perfect; just try to fix the obvious typos. Even best selling authors make mistakes, and you'll improve with practice--just like they did. Keep the stories coming.

you should wright more about this girl allie and here other lesbian adventures.

The first part of the story with Krista and Allie was really good. Then you lost me when Krista started asking Calista inappropriate questions that she would never in real life answer. Strained reality waaaaay too much. I realize this is a fantasy, but you've written it in a realistic way, then completely veered into the ridiculous. I lost interest.

I hate to tell you but your reading public are not all 15 - 20 year olds. We do not like you telling us like, we should like you writing like all the time. Go back through the story and you will find that most of the use of the word "like" can AND SHOULD BE made redundant. IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO THE STORY.

One of the best stories I've ever read on literotica. Thank you so much. I'm going to check out your other stories now and I have high hopes. Going to bookmark this one so I can come back to it ,have to read it again soon.

Nice story, thanks for posting it.

I like your other stories better, where the bonds are more lasting. But that is just my preference.

All said and done, nice story.

You kept mixing up Callista's and Krista's names and at times it was confusing to figure out who you were talking about. Could you edit it and fix this and some spelling and grammar errors it has please. Other than that the story is enjoyable. Keep up the good work.

I am surprised that yor dickgirls don.t suck themselves off, especially the ones with the biggest!

Desperately need an editor or at least a proof read. Good story though.

I liked the ideas and eroticism of the story with all its connections coming together. What I did find is you needed an editor to help you as sometimes names got mixed up to the point where the description was applying to the wrong person. Plus grammatically there was some significant slippage that detracted from the intensity of the scenes.

Nice circle story arc.

I’m very sad story.

Well! Nice storey idea, I kind of guessed the time loop at the start of woman three but an interesting reintroduction of the initial character. Good description of events and situations, quite erotic. This is the second storey I have read as I liked the first "Double Date".

I wish Americans would write in proper English especially when texts are being produced for a broader audience. It gives confusing messages to those not fully understanding the differences the Americans have imposed on the original language.

Apart from that your productions would benefit from proof reading to iron out spelling errors and grammar issues.

on the whole good storey. I may read another later.

Looks liketheybothnwon!

Thanksforthis

I love when the women play with their asses, you did a nice job , thank you