by AutumnRayven
please continue with this tale. I need to know more about Anna, Damien, and find out what happen to Makayla. What happen to her? Please don't take her out the picture I liked her.
Ugh I love this story. I'm glad you kind of forgot about Makayla for now I personally didn't like her. I like how Anna is strong and this story is just hot hot hot. I need more more more!! Lol marvelous
I enjoyed chapter one so much that I went back and reread it before starting this chapter. Damien shouldn't get his way w/Belle. It would be good for him to be held off as Belle learns the true power she holds.
I'll keep an eye out for the next installment of Bell/Damien and they're continuing struggles with one another.
I think you have a natural talent for story-telling. I'm certainly no expert, but I have taken several creative writing classes and I can say most honestly that you have written some of the best raw stories I've read. By raw, I mean that there is still editing necessary, but as you stated yourself, you are still experimenting with Damien's character. I hope you are able to build your natural talent into professional authorship.
Thank you for the awesome comments guys :). I've submitted another piece of the story so we are just waiting in Literotica. I'm also looking for an editor if anyone wants to volunteer.
So many stories on this site are quite well conceived, but poorly written. Your's is "literally" among the best. Truly, you should write a book. Please keep it up. The turn-on is the ultimate!
I really enjoyed the character build up. Please use "populace" for nouns and "populous" for adjectives.