All Comments on 'Daniella Defiled'

Wow!

Completely and totally fuck-blowingly brilliant. Am a quivering pile of orgasm right now. Characters, plot, emotion, sex, humor - tied up nicely w/ crepe paper ribbon. You write with breathtaking passion, Jaymal. Love, love, LOVED it!!!

That was fantastically written Jaymal! Loved every mind blowing moment.

I am in awe of your writing and you did it again with yet another story that had a well pieced together plot, strong characters and hot steamy action. I am ashamed to say I loved it, but I did. This is not a category I would normally read, but hot damn that was awesome! GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

I came.

A million miles better than the usual power/physical games that pass for BDSM in most Lit stories.

Convincing characters, convincing setting, real human beings interacting. And struggling from physicality towards the beginning of mutual understanding.

Ourstanding in everything. Um, and I didn't even mention the sex...

Thank you.

Probably the hottest story you've ever written. I was writhing in my seat the entire time I was reading it and actually audibly gasped at certain parts. I had to cum twice after reading that masterpiece. Absolute genius.

Absolutely exceptional work. As usual... outstanding writing that clearly demonstrates your conceptuality. Looks like a winner to me.

George

This is without a doubt the most erotic story I have ever read. Everything worked so well in it. Forget Eric or Daniella's control - you had absolute control over this entire masterpiece. Great job

Thank you so much for letting me know about your new story, this was a worthy read! I haven't been around in awhile but your email (feedback letter, whatever) drew me back. I'm so happy I took the time to check it out! Sexy and sensual and so naughty. I've got the urge to write something sexy now damn it and I'm all worked up. Don't have the time unfortunately, got too many things in the works, but I'm happy you're still giving this site good quality reads. You should try to publish this babe. Take care <3 Bianca (can't sign in for some reason ;(

What a fun story about BDSM wannabees. I love when he says sorry! Believable, likable characters and super-hot, too.

That was very entertaining. Eric had a heart and enough balls to show it. Daniella oozing chutzpah, keeps him guessing. This could easily have plunged into something highly distasteful had you insisted Eric keep the upper hand going through out.

That was the best story I've read in quite some time. Loved it ;)

There's a reason I keep you on my "Favorites" list, and this story shows why. You did a great job of keeping with the characters we liked from the first Daniella story, but expanded on them in new and completely believable ways.

I loved that he was a Dom who had *some* ideas but was mostly winging it; I loved that she could turn herself over to him with abandon - and then turn the tables on him immediately afterward. Sometimes the women written in submissive roles seem to lack fire or even personality; Daniella has it in spades. Add to that some intensely erotic sexual exploration, and well, it's another winner as far as I'm concerned.

I'd be happy to keep reading about their adventures together... but I'd also just be happy to read whatever you're inspired to write next! Thanks so much for sharing this with us, Jaymal.

Excellently written as usual... Good luck in the contest.

I like your mind...what a wonderfully smutty mind you have!

This story was excellent. You carried it forward as a sequel & did an awesome job creating a story that can easily stand alone & be as good, or better than the original.

Congrats & thanks for sharing,

why

I have read and reread this story. Every single word resonated inside of me. I felt Daniella as she held her bladder and loved that she maintained control. He had her, but she had him. I was incredibly aroused. Your words are perfect, the characters are real and the climax ...delicious. Thank you.

I don't read BDSM that often, but I liked that story, and it gave me some things to fantasize about... Thanks!

This was a well written and highly erotic story. I typically enjoy a lighter hand to my BDSM as far as real life. The characters were wonderfully well developed, so much so that I felt sorry for Daniella. While the intensity was a bit much for me personally, I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for contributing and good luck in the contest.

Such a well-written story. I liked how you wrote believable characters and let us into our heads in a believable way.

Well done!

An exceptionally good story, with much depth of development. Erotic as hell with a touch of sweet romance...

I don;t know how I got here but - I'm glad I did. Thanks for a well written story.

Another wonderfully authored story, which has delightfully large doses of imaginitive shagging as well as excellent character sketching. Top notch job :-)

all of your sex scenes were amazing but the part i liked best was the romantic nature of your dom and the willful, strong character of the coolest subbie girl known to lit. sorry i didn't vote before the contest ended... i'm a crappy friend but you're still a terrific writer. more please ;)

I'm not much into BDSM so I don't read stories in this category on Literotica. But based on your post in the Story Feedback forum, and your winning 3rd place in the Nude Day story contest, I decided to take a chance. I read both Daniella Bound and Daniella Defiled - I liked both of them but Defiled is my favorite of the two. I liked how every time Eric thought he had Daniella under his control she turned the game around. He's going to have to accept her as his equal. 5 stars.

Add a teaspoonful of 'BDSM' to a pinch of 'anal' and Daniella is hopelessly defiled, after a few hours worth of fucking. Receipes like these are rarely as well written as this masterpiece. Having glanced at the winning story, then given up on finishing it; This beauty pressed both of our love buttons! -My geriatric partner fucked my rear end like a teenager, extracting screams of ecstasy from his handicapped geriatric female slave/spouse. [Me] -Thanks for your imaginative romantic writing, to roll back our dotage years in bed, rekindling youthful fires of passionate cohabitation. BTW-You deserved to win any literotica contest, on the basis of Daniella Defiled Chapter 1 -There should definitely be a Chapter 2, ASAP?

Very nicely done. Interesting to have two strong people tugging like that. I await the conclusion. ;)

A delicious sequel to a delicious story!

xoxo, Penny

Daniella is so… well, the term “feisty” hardly suits; your prose so concise, on point; the absolute delicious irony and humor woven throughout; and your little tricks with mysterious secrets (I wish I knew the technical term for it)… if anyone were so foolish as to to consider putting the story down, those secrets would indeed keep the story in hand…and I do mean ONE hand. ;)

Beautiful! I loved the power exchange between Eric and Daniella!! So very romantic and so very real. I can feel not only Eric's lust and passion for Daniella, but his growing love for her. So well written... so well done! Thank you!

I love the way the power struggle works, the voyeristic couple, getting fucked in daddy's bed. A favorite for me.

Dead-on in all the right ways for this closet sub. More like this and I may find myself unable to resist taking that next step.

Not only beautifully and intelligently written, but the author's clever, devious mode of dominance resonated perfectly with me. Please keep submitting your work! I plan to embark on an author search to gobble up anything else you have so generously shared here.

Yummy yummy stuff, Jaymal!

That was so amazing.

Very well written :)

There were some hot moments, but the wannabe Dom whimped out at the end... he was whipped by a dominate female. Personally I find that repugnant!!!

He simply prefers a feisty, smart, self-possessed girl to a doormat.

I agree somewhat with the whipped comment. I was put off by what were supposed to be the hottest scenes in the story crumbling. The scene on the balcony is interrupted and Daniella takes over and gives sass. The scene on her father's bed is awkward and juvenile, like two virgins. It is closer to real life, unfortunately. The woman is constantly fighting for dominance. On the other hand, he could easily have re-asserted himself, but he didn't. I believe that to be intentional on the author's part. Love changes things, and makes things not so perfect and choreographed. Love is often what ends up giving women the upper hand. That is what unraveled in this story was Eric's love for Daniella. That part I can appreciate. It just repels what I originally expected from this story which essentially was a Dom/sub relationship. This was more of a love story.

Started with Daniella Bound and the Defiled continuation was better than I imagined. Beyond the fact this story got me fantastically hot and bothered, I loved your writing style and well thought out plot. Gonna be looking for more from you Jaymal!

I really enjoyed this story. It got me really hot, and I liked the way she challenged him. I don’t think Eric is whipped at all. Some Dom’s thrive on that challenge… it keeps it exciting and adds fuel to the fire. This story shows the rich complexity within the D/s community. Loving someone is in no way equated with being weak in my mind. I think it makes him stronger, wiser… and much, much braver.

5 stars. Really liked the complexity of the relationship. More real and more exciting to me than more traditional D/s scenes. Keep more stories coming.

Got off various times to your 'Daniella' stories. Thank you!

As to the 'whipped eric' vs 'doormat daniella' , those terms seem to be extreme and opposite ends of the sexual fantasy spectrum. Isn't sexual fantasy more a question of taste than morality? Of course there are moral boundaries, but even if Eric had been a die-hard Dom, this story would still be pretty safe ;)

Awesome story...exceedingly hot! I loved how they towed this fine line of who was in control at all times. Really great story!

cannd

Please continue, they are so good!!!!!!!1

I loved this short read. The little bit of pup play (fetch with your mouth),was very nice. Their dynamic is great. Sexy and hot. I would love to see more of them and an encounter with his neighbors again. Hope you keep this story going.... :-)

I loved this story and its first part, Daniella Bound. It was incredibly erotic and beautiful. I love Daniella's character, her personality especially, how she gets into what's being done to her and she pushes back towards the dominant. She is a very beautiful woman, one of a kind.

Would love to see more installments of this story.

what a great sequel I hope that here's more to come.

"or it's' not gonna happen"

Breaking the contract, was she? She gave me ALL the decision making power

Alligator type clips don't have a screw to tighten

Was the Butt Plug glass or plastic?

In addition to those, you need an editor for things that a Spell Check won't catch. . Not as badly as some, buy there are wrong words (homonyms) and grammar errors that a human editor should have caught

Over all I did enjoy the story, tho better than most of the few BDSM stories that I do read Give you 4*

...my anonymous friend. I intend to publish the Daniella stories, so it's good to have fresh eyes on it to pick up on stuff I've missed. I edited the story a few months ago (Literotica still has an earlier draft), but I know I didn't pick up on everything you pointed out. Glad the experience was overall an enjoyable one.

To the author - I thoroughly enjoyed this. Thank you for sharing. I gave you 5*.

To the Anon who complained about spelling/grammar, you really should take your own advice!

bought a few erotic bdsm novels in my time

this is as good as / better than , many i have purchased.

including those from : Nex us : Silver min k : etc....

for a FREE read , on a FREE site , its exceptional ..

very imaginative plot . equisitely written .

thankyou for sharing it with us.

xxxhugsxxx

TwistedOliver.

p.s

i did an internet search of the title to see if you had published this yet.

or to see if you had further adventures of dani & eric anywhere.

good luck with the 3rd part .. am looking forward to reading it

hope you will post it here.

once again ty jake & best wishes for success with your writing.

Thank you for the great story. I loved how the sub wasn't submissive.

This story kept me involved with with it's well developed characters and storyline.

I wish you'd write a sequel. I imagine Danielle telling Eric during a kinky match to propose to her;-)

Just finished both stories. I have to say it was a delightful romp. So funny to see 2 fairly dominant personalities trying to sub each other. A great ending, too.

Even though this is way late I have to give kudos for both parts of a great story. As I was reading I could put real life faces on both characters.

Get someone to help you edit and your future stories will be even more enjoyable.

I thought the characters, and the shift in power between them as the weekend unfolded, added up to an amazing story, very well told. The way the background was revealed kept the tension going, and the conflicts of emotions within the two principals were very credible.

The best story I have ever read on this site. Keep it up Jaymal

Loved it. Perfect.

Gemma_oz had it right: Perfect!!

Keep it up and write more without delay! (Please!) LOL!

X-Man

dear Jaymal,its seldom that an author manages to make a reader hate their story like anything as well as love it like hell.....thats how i felt reading your story,just not being able to put it down before reading it till the end!!hail lit contest winner....hail awesome,amazing words wizard!! :));)

and dearest lit readers,especially girls....and more especially,the way smarter girls!! :))

dumb girls and ladies are way out of my interest area!! ;)

jaymal,our author of Daniela Defiled,i gathered from the lit profile,is Irish erotic writer jake malden.....

in daniela defiled he does try to send girls a message;)....'.take all the erotic humiliation your intended man throws your way....like daniela did,and your intended man is yours to the hilt!!!'.....

utter honeytrap girls;) dont ever put that much on stake for any intended man of yours,unless the stakes are really really high at the other end!!;)(i assure you never putting that much on stake is sheer and eternal bliss!! ;) )you know the drill dearest smart ladies,dont you?;)

He started out with a plan and got side tracked? That's garbage. Dump the self centered bitch and move on. awful ending

I was tentative in the 'bound part, but you pulled it off. I like to think they will have a long term battle-filled relationship.

Very battle of the sexes (sexiest) - thouroghly enjoyed it.

Absolutely fucking brilliant!!

Just wow and super hot

Great story! Would love to read more.

Gret sex , but you know what ? I'd like to see a part 3 where they force Daddy out of the company and take it over themselves . Followed by a wild victory fuckfest

Loved both characters, plus super hot story, well done

why do you have to have ruin the anal sex by making ut a painal ?

"Eric gritted his teeth and pushed hard, recklessly, sinking the first of his length into Daniella's rectum till the lubrication could do no more against her tightening sphincter. Curls of cream spurted out around his invading pole as she cried out wildly. "

really???? i know your male characters are bastatds but she is a fucking anal virgin !!!!!

do you have to make the first thrust so hard for someone who is already nervous and going to experience mandatory pain from anal

no you just have to make it super painful right?

"He retreated and went in again, slower this time"

now he is being gentle? when he already inflicted the pain in his first thrust already??

" Are you going to... Aaaaaaaagh!!!' He had pulled halfway out and powered back in, cramming her with cock. 'That it? That what you want?' 'Fuck! Yeah... No! Not so hard...'

'Alright, alright, sorry...' "

dude thats just sex talk she didnt meant that he should tore her ass like her pussy

just whats your obsession with super painful anal sex on a anal virgin???

"he wanted her to feel good"

what kind of man make the very first thrust hardest on an anal virgin and then when she talks dirty he again pounds too hard?

i hate it when lit writers are being ignorant about anal sex they either forget to lube asshole or cock or forget anal warmup or dilation

or just like you ram too hard into an unprepared anal virgin

why for christ sake why cant the

anal sex with anal virgin girls (con or noncon ) in your stories ever be gentle and mild instead of being hard and rough?

she isnt the first ass he fucked he seems too experienced so why would he be too rough while taking someones anal cherry

its a miracle she aint bleeding coz she is supposed to the too hard way he took her not used to asshole

please be realistic dont make anal too painful to read

you cant ram a virgin pussy that hard w/o tearing let alone the super tight virgin asshole

amd if i remeber correctly when he first told her he would take her ass in front of neighbours i dont think he had his lube there with him so was he going to fuck her ass dry with no lube during her first time ?

i am great fan of first time anal stories but your anal parts of stories seems too sadistic for any anal virgin to even survive not w/o some anal tearing and bleeding

look i just dont understand the necessity of painal on someones first time

except tha anal scene the rest of the story was super hot especially the whipped cream bj

Love, love, love it

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