All Comments on 'Dark Chocolate: A Mature Story Ch. 03'

Some twists and some turns with a few hard spots but as I read the pieces fell together with clarity that seemed a little far apart. Superb characters and real world flavor.

Great story!!

Loved it.

I want to thank every one who read this series. I hope you enjoyed it. I had fun writing it.

I laughed, I cried, I was angry, and at last happy. Can't ask for much more from a story. A great read.

great story

One of the most well rounded series I've read in a long time.

Loved it

I just wanted to tell you that. As a dark-skinned woman in a long line of fair-skinned women I felt Talia's pain and could truly relate to her in that way. Thank you for writing about us in a truly positive light and letting people know we too are beautiful. And who knows, my 27th birthday is in four days, I may wind up finding my own Richard. Lol one can dream.

P.S. Keep up the great work.

I have just found this site and this is the second story I've read. I must say the story and the characters in it were completely believable. I hope to read more stories like this soon.

Love it. I love the message this story tells. The characters were well written and realistic. Team Rick and Talia all the way.

WELL DONE

Looking at all the comments, it is obvious you have touched a lot of hearts. That is the name of the game. Congratulations!

I can't believe it's 6:30 in the morning! I started reading and I couldn't stop.

Great story, great characters. One of the best stories here on Literotica.

Thanks. I look forward to reading more of your fabulous work.

This is the best story I read.

This hit home for me. When his mother turned on them I bawled my eyes out! But this story was so amazing. You're one of my favorite authors. Please never stop writing!

I re read this 2 times and loved it all. this is so very close to what happened to me and my second wife, she was black and i was white. I thought i was reading about myself here and was very glad to see a fantastic outcome.

2:58am I am finishing this series and I absolutely love this story. Talia and Richard/Rick waited causing the build up for their fist time to be that much more special. The topics presented were all thoroughly explored was dealt with, with such care showing how they both felt during those same moments to the point where I had to just exhale slowly.

Thank you for sharing both point of views with us. Will we, us readers, be blessed with any new material?

No matter what genre you place this in it is a great story. You had me rooting for them and yet hanging on every segment as they waited for the right time to consummate their relationship.

and that's unfortunate, because besides a few mispellings, some wrong word choices and an incorrect genre, this was a very good story. Very good.

You did well with the basketball, you did well with the family dynamics, you did well with the male 'patois', but you failed to think through, and research the legal aspect of your story.

Richard was an adult. His parents had no legal right 'to protect him'. You got sidetracked by the story of Talia's parents, (which had a glaring side-plot hole in it, regarding why her Dad lost his job. He did nothing, but the right thing when pursued.)

Because Richard was an adult, his parents could not have filed charges, they would not have grounds for a lawsuit, and they could not have gotten a restraining order, because Talia did nothing, and was not a threat to Richard because he was an adult.

You have to always remember the concept of suspension of disbelief. You surely have heard of this concept because you write in the non-human genre. As a writer, readers will give you massive latitude in any direction you choose to go, IF you give a rational explanation, consistent with the world you create, as an artist.

Readers accept writers breaking laws of physics, they accept magic, and magical beings, they accept ALL sorts of things, but you can't change laws of the world we live in, when you set a story in this real world. You can no more create the scenario you have in this wonderful love story, than you could write a story about there being no racism in the world.

A minor point, related to this is the comments you put in the mouth of the female police officer. I can't say a black woman in America wouldn't hear that from a female police officer, because I'm white, and a man. I do know if an officer said anything remotely close to that derogatory dig, to me, I'd be filing an ethics charge against them. It was a completely unprofessional statement, and because Richard was an adult, without relevance, to anything. I guess it just added to the mistakes made with the legal accuracy problems of the story.

When I said, 'you lost me', I meant I actually stopped reading. I have only stopped reading a very few Lit stories; less than a handful, and that was because they were so poorly crafted, technically, they were unreadable. This is in over 20 years of Lit being my primary source of reading material, so it is rare for me to be 'put off' a story.

I wanted to know how things turned out for the love torn pair, Richard and Talia. I truly did, but I realized the plot was broken so severely, however you turned things around, the crisis your two protagonists faced was artificially created, and the inaccuracy of the manufactured crisis made the outcome artificial, as well.

As soon as I realized the happy outcome was artificially & inaccurately contrived, I discovered I no longer cared about the characters, and stopped reading.

Thanks for sharing your imagination, and for the work it takes to put together a Lit submission. I do appreciate your effort. Hopefully my explanation shows I was invested enough in your characters to be disappointed.

Make it up to me, by not overlooking research in the future.

You haven't lost me, as a reader, your Brother Wolf story brought me to your work, and I will read further, in your offerings.

Regards,

GeoD

Great story! Most stories on this site are raw and carnal. This was a love story that could be read by anyone. We done.

I’d be interested in knowing what kind of school Richard went to and what degree he achieved. I went to a traditional 4 year college and was told it was rare to earn a teaching degree in under 5 years. Going to school full time and in the summers, I got my bachelor’s degree in 4 1/2 years. What degree did Richard get in only 2 years? An associate’s degree?

Started chapter 1 on Tuesday and couldn't wait till Wed am to continue ... finishing late wed afternoon. Thanks for the story. Enjoyed the trip thru part of their life's story.

Great story from beginning to end.