All Comments on 'Dark Chocolate: A Mature Story'

I like this story. You seem to like writing about topics most would avoid. Very brave.

A FANTASTIC STORY!!!! PLEASE DO THE NEXT CHAPTER.

Hope this continues. It has the makings of a great story

Great set up, has the making of a great story.

Hope you are working on part 2.

I'm watching this one.

looking forward to reading more

Loved it! I wonder what Talia's family is going to say. I think he need to concentrate on completing school did they should pursue a relationship after he graduates.

I love it! Looking forward to taking the May/ Dec walk.

For the next chapter!

I'm enjoying it (I have only read page 1 so far), but that enjoyment is made more difficult by the DOZENS of grammar, spelling and punctuation errors in it.

One quick example: He mentions "my parent's house", which would mean "the house of ONE of my parents". I think you meant "my parents' house" (the apostrophe AFTER the "s"), which would mean "the house of BOTH of my parents".

It's a small thing, but there are TONS of things like that throughout the first page alone, which would be unfortunate and distracting in ANY story, but - I think - particularly so in a story set within the world of publishing, as it tends to severely erode your credibility as someone writing from what they know.

I would HIGHLY recommend your finding a competent editor.

-Rei

and that is the reason for writing. to tell of an adventure in your thoughts. I'll send my other notes privately. Some very good lines in this. Liked the back and forth commentary... he said, she said. all the stars for you.

I have to say that you wrote this splendidly for your first time. Lissia and I love your writing and we're thrilled to see it published here. Keep going - keep telling and writing - what a great rhythm!!

Great start.

I can't believe all the negative comments related to editing when you've already admitted that you're aware the story needs editing. Hats off to the reader that made his comment and sent further tips privately. I love this type of romance and I love the storyline. I can't wait to read more. I have bought e-books off Amazon that didn't start off half as good as this story.

Well done