All Comments on 'Dark Division - The Capsa - Ch. 09'

so inaccurately portrayed Jeff's wounding. He's not a super hero. You haven't laid any background indicating he has gained something from his association with angels, etc.

Then he gets clawed, badly enough his partner calls ahead for bandage status, badly enough Lizzie decides he needs sutures. People who take a first aid course do not get taught how to suture, or determine if something needs sutures. But that's not actually the point.

Have you ever had sutures? Ever tried to stick a needle in yourself? There isn't much difference between a suture needle and a hypodemic needle; about the same size.

I have. Sticking a straight hypodermic needle in your flank or thigh doesn't hurt much if you're quick. Try a slow, steady push of a suture needle into a laceration or tear deep enough to require sutures. It's gonna be sore as hell from being cleaned out, and if it isn't cleaned out completely, there's no way it should be sutured. That's a death sentence from infection.

Anesthetic is injected before sutures for a reason. If it wasn't needed, it wouldn't be done. It hurts like an MF'er to stick a needle in your skin. The thing you see in old western movies where the guy being sewed up, or the woman giving birth, biting down on wood, or lether covered wood. In those days, THAT leather covered stick was part of the doctor's modern technology. They didn't have anesthetics, clear up through the Civil War.

When you write Sci Fi/Fantasy, the suspension of disbelief is integral to the 'deal' between the writer and their audience. Your part is to make the 'real' stuff, real, AND the reader's job is to accept the made up stuff, as real.

When you have a male character calmly get his back sutured without anesthetic, THEN calmly set still while she pours alcohol on the fresh wound, and sutures, it makes it difficult to pretend about the angels, demons, and the rest of the fantasy.

This is to say nothing of the total technical inaccuracy of the suturing. If the gashed were deep enough to suture, there would be more than one suture per gash.

As an author, it's important ot realize when you don't know enough about a subject to skip research, or a consult with someone who DOES know.

Good job, overall, though. Just need some work on this chapter. I was thinking about back story on Jeff and Kerry, and their adventures with Oz, and/or Tom/Tomas.

Could be a great branch off the story.

GeoD