Dark Planet Pt. 04

"How is it he always gets captured and you always go free, huh? Why is it that anything that makes the rebel army strong is bad, if you're such a good, loyal soldier? Huh?"

He was silent again. "I am not strong as he is."

"Yeah? Well no shit."

"It was Sixth General."

"What was?" Muscles in my neck and shoulder burned as I tried to keep myself as far from Shadow as possible.

"The traitor. We had a spy, a double agent feeding the enemy information. It was Sixth General. She took you from Leader. I tried to intercept but I could not."

I heard myself laugh, high and false. "You're trying to tell me that someone else betrayed Perikos and you tried to protect me? You must think I'm pretty goddamn stupid."

"No," Shadow said, his music steady, measured. "I think you are revolting, unpleasant and woefully stubborn but I do not think you are stupid. My reaction to your presence and your unfortunate timing in mine has given you every reason to doubt me. But suppose that Sixth General provided your earlier assailants an opportunity to capture you by drawing Leader away from you. Later, she was charged with guarding you but she had disappeared from the camp. I believe she had a report to make."

"But why -- "

"I have no idea why she did it. What power or favor would be bestowed upon her for such callousness? But make no mistake, human; I have no affection for you but I would do anything for Leader. Right now he is being held captive. He is much diminished. I could infiltrate his prison but not quickly enough to restore him so he might escape also, even by infusing my life into his. No, to rescue him I am certain I need you. Your energy is limitless -- with you he could fuel a worthy escape." His tone changed from resigned to pitifully bitter and I felt myself trusting his words in spite of myself.

"Well then. Let me go and we'll get down to business. Where is he?" I said.

Shadow began to drift forward and back in an odd imitation of an anxious pace. "It is not that simple. Right now he is too guarded. The survivors from the battle have sent for reinforcements. If Leader is to survive then he must have enough force to guard his escape. Sending you in now would get him killed and likely they would feed off you until you were depleted utterly."

"So I'm just supposed to wait here till the time's right? He could be dying now"

"I believe they are interested in his murder, at least at this time. They will wait for the King. They will try to make it official, to look as though he was bested and there is no hope of further insurrection. Besides, we have no other option. I also fear that releasing you would raise the alarm among the guards here and we would likely be found and would certainly have no chance of making it to free Leader," Shadow said.

"I see. So instead, what? You tell jokes till they turn up tomorrow and then hide, then when they leave you come back and we keep it up till reinforcements arrive, all the while hoping Perikos can wait it out?"

"As I see it, we have few options besides. I will stay with you, since as much as I detest you, Leader values you above all else and would cast me out if you came to harm."

"Nice," I tried to scoff but ended up just choking on the pain from my wrist, ear, head and ankle. "Well, I'm probably not going to get into too much trouble until those guys come back. I'm kind of attached to the wall."

A thin, oily tendril reached out cautiously to touch the rope at my throat. "It is best if you stay restrained. You are not strong enough to break these bindings without assistance." He tugged lightly at the rope and it in turn sent an unpleasant jolt through the rope and to my wrist. I gasped and squirmed.

"You are already hurt." It wasn't really a question.

"Yeah. You must have seen it. They broke my wrist," I said.

"It is uncomfortable?"

"Actually, it's really painful. Second time in a month this wrist has been broken too."

"May I…may I touch it?"

"What? No!" I felt dizzy at the very suggestion of letting Shadow near my broken wrist. "That would only make it feel worse which would be the last thing I need."

"How long will it take to heal?"

"Too long," I sighed, shifting on the hard ground. "I'm afraid to set it in case I do it wrong and even when they're set properly, bones take too long to heal."

"I could set it."

"Are you kidding me? You barely even know what bones are, let alone how to fix them! Is this just an excuse to hurt me really badly without guilt?"

I felt something vaguely slimy and cool wind almost flat around my left wrist, around the bracelet Perikos gave me. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked as I felt it tighten its grip around my unbroken wrist.

"I am assessing your bone structure," the tone was flat, almost purposely devoid of nuance.

"I said no. Let's just wait till -- ARRGGGHH!" A scream tore at my throat. Shadow had turned to my right wrist so quickly I had time to feel anything but a sickening crunch that resonated through my entire body just like the break had. I turned to be sick but there was nothing in my stomach to throw up. It took me five minutes or so to collect myself, to regulate my breathing enough that I could think about anything besides my wrist.

"That was painful," I heard Shadow say after another moment. He still seemed to be pacing.

"Yeah," I moaned. What I wouldn't give for Union medicine right now. Anesthesia, sedatives, Calcorrex for breaks and fractures, anything but sitting here having to feel every second of it. "Thank you for setting my bone, even though I asked you not to. At least now it'll heal properly, when it finally does."

"You have other injuries?"

"Nothing you can help with. My ankle will heal soon but I just have to wait. My headache will go away in a bit -- I'm actually pretty lucky I keep waking up after all these blows to the head. And I don't know what they did to my ear after they put a spike through it but I don't think it's bleeding very much anymore."

My stomach rumbled then. I was starving. It felt like my stomach was eating itself.

"Why did you make that sound?" Shadow asked me. I felt my heart ache as I was reminded of Perikos' alarm at hearing my stomach growl back on we Kragosa.

"I didn't mean to, I'm just hungry. And thirsty."

"You need to…feed?" Shadow continued his pacing.

"Yeah," I said.

"What do you feed on? How long will you manage without?"

I almost laughed. I case I forgot who I was dealing with, Shadow wanted to make sure to remind me. "Without food? Not as long as I would back on Ferox 4. Ten days. Fifteen maybe. Without water? Probably not past tomorrow. I don't remember the last time I drank."

"It is water, then, that you drink?" Shadow's tune sounded almost nervous.

I began to giggle and couldn't stop. It was probably the pain, the fear, the sleep deprivation and suddenly feeling so thirsty I was afraid I'd turn inside out. "No, I drink the blood of innocents. Of course I drink water. Why do you think Perikos made sure we set up camp near the river and lake?"

Shadow seemed to stiffen when I mentioned Perikos and after a moment I did to. My tummy hurt from loneliness, from fright as much as it hurt from giggling and hunger. "I will see if I can find some water in this cavern." And then he was gone. I couldn't see him, couldn't even sense him.

"Wait! What if you can't? Are you coming back?" I felt foolish and not for the first time pitifully weak but I couldn't help myself. No matter what I might say aloud I'd rather have Shadow here and loathing me than be left all alone in this place.

I waited for over an hour, wondering if I'd been duped. Maybe he was lying the whole time and I'd fallen for it. Or what if I'd just pissed him off real bad and now I was on my own, Perikos be damned? Or maybe this cavern connected to the others and he'd been captured and I really was going to die alone in here without ever seeing Perikos again.

After another twenty minutes I felt him again even though I couldn't see him. I nearly collapsed with relief. I really might have done if I had any real range of movement. "Shadow? Are you all right?"

He was moving slowly, much more slowly than usual and he was bigger than was strictly necessary in the solitary darkness. He was bigger than me even. "I am well. I located water and have brought you some. I am assuming you use your mouth to drink?"

My eyes widened in surprise and the corner of my mouth twitched a little. "Yes, my mouth. How am I going to drink it though?"

A tendril appeared at the corner of my mouth and I was reminded forcefully of our first encounters, particularly at the first rally. I felt an embarrassed blush creep into my cheeks as I remembered my reaction then. I didn't get off on helplessness, did I? Another freaky thing to add to the list of freaky things about me. Goddamn it, sometimes I wished I was anyone but me.

I turned my head to face the tendril by my mouth and parted my teeth. The tendril pressed into my open mouth slowly, almost nervously, careful not to actually touch me at all. I felt something wet and wonderfully cool begin to fill my mouth in a slow, even stream. I swallowed as fast as I could, gulping at the water that filled my mouth until my stomach began to ache and swell. Shadow withdrew the tendril briskly and stood before me, maybe waiting to see if I would grow bigger or sprout a third head.

"Thank you" I said, reveling in the feel of a lubricated throat.

"For Leader." His music was gruff, almost shy and certainly abrupt. "Do you need to eat as well?"

I cast my eyes over the small amount of red light inside the cave. The far walls and the patch near the entrance contained some kind of fungi but I wouldn't know until I could see it closely whether or not they were edible. "I should eat. We'll make this less awkward. Could you pull up a few different mushrooms from each patch and just bring them over here. I'd do it myself but you don't seem to want to let me go."

"Do not be foolish," I saw Shadow move away from me and towards the patches of vegetation spread throughout the cave. "If I pulled the spike from the rock they would know something was wrong. The bindings restraining you are one continuous length. There is nothing to untie. Either I break the ropes and you are beaten or worse or else I pull the spike from the rock and they know for certain you have had help and the hunt begins. I will do nothing to jeopardize Leader."

I sighed. Fair enough. If our situation was reversed, I'd like to think I'd stick around and help but I certainly wouldn't untie him if I thought it would come back to bite me or Perikos in the ass.

Shadow returned and deposited a small pile of mushrooms and fungi caps next to my lap. I could make out several different sizes and shapes in the dim light. I twisted my body slightly so I was better able to face the pile. I could just reach them on such short lengths of rope. I narrowed my eyes. There were a few I'd tried before and found to be inedible or worse. Besides that there were four or five I didn't recognize and I could only hope were palatable. I reached for one of them, one that looked like a tiny beehive. I tried to reach my mouth with the rope but I couldn't even reach, even by trying to roll myself up in a ball. The rope around my wrists, neck and middle pinched and chafed badly and I was no closer to feeding myself. Frustrated, I tossed a cap ten centimeters in the air and opened my mouth but my aim was off and it just rolled away, out of my reach entirely. I shut my eyes and counted down from ten slowly, tried to calm myself. I will not cry again, I told myself. Not over this. For fuck's sake, I was no stranger to humiliation. Shit, sometimes it made me horny. But not like this. Not with Shadow. Still, there was little dignity to be gained by starving myself.

I squinted into the darkness, trying to make out his shape. It was difficult since he didn't seem to be moving much anymore. "Shadow?"

Something smooth and graceful moved, so close to me I had to stifle a gasp. "Yes?"

"I…um…well, I can't…reach," I muttered, as thought saying it quietly made the slightest bit of difference.

"You cannot reach the food I brought you?"

"No, I guess I can reach the food. Getting the food to the mouth is a little more difficult," I bit down hard on my tongue. "It's the ropes! They're too short!" I cried out suddenly, humiliated again.

"You are asking me to feed you?" There was something to Shadow's tone that I couldn't place. It wasn't disgust like I'd expected and he didn't sound smug exactly. It wasn't arousal by any stretch but the tone made me want to hide my face all the same. Though if I could do that I wouldn't be having this problem.

"Yes," I replied, so quietly I could barely hear my own voice. Shadow took my meaning, that much was clear. He took one of the small, conical ones shaped like a beehive from my right hand and then a moment later I felt something soft and spongy press against my swollen, chapped lips. I opened wide, taking the whole thing into my mouth and chewing thoroughly. It tasted like an odd combination of must, sawdust and one of the southern spices from Ferox 4 you only got when you went to the big city. Not good by any means but I'd had worse mushrooms since being here. Lots worse. I chewed thoroughly and swallowed and before long I felt another conical one pressed to my lips, same as before. I ate it too and Shadow fed me another. I ate seven more and I was past full really, not because they were really substantial but because I wasn't used to eating like I had before Kragosa. But I refused to stop until I'd eaten what Shadow had picked since I didn't want to have to ask to be fed again today.

Shadow shifted, moved a few meters away from me. "You are sated?"

"For today. Thank you," I added, not so much as an afterthought and more because I hated feeling weak and I particularly hated feeling weak around Shadow, even if he wasn't being the galaxy's hugest trouser stain anymore.

There was an awkward silence that hung in the air but I didn't want to break it. What would we talk about? Perikos? That would be ten different kinds of uncomfortable given the nature of our relationships. The war and what an epic bust that turned out to be? Ourselves? Like, "hey, I'm a female bipedal mammal that loves sunlight and you sure aren't any of those things. Want to talk about it?" Better to just keep my mouth shut for once in my life.

I sat against the wall for another ten minutes in silence. I tried to shift a little against the rock, adjust so that my butt wasn't falling asleep anymore and my arms kept circulation. The silence got louder. I felt like Shadow was looking at me, which of course he couldn't have been but even so, I felt his undivided attention on me. It felt creepy.

"What? What do you want?" I cried when I finally couldn't take it anymore.

"You are tired. You will enter a comatose state soon."

"More or less, yeah. What does that have to do with you?"

"I have also exerted myself and require a rest."

"Fine by me," I said, yawning wide. He was right, I really was tired.

"But before I do, I require sustenance."

That hit me like a brick. I don't know why, I didn't have a good reason. We were very probably trapped in this cave together and otherwise alone. He had fed me and brought me water. We were risking everything on reinforcements arriving and having the opportunity to get me to Perikos, which would necessitate Shadow's muscle. And I was pretty much the only safe snack on the planet and still it hadn't occurred to me. I knew my job was to feed Perikos and his troops, but it was always all about Perikos, not anyone else and certainly never Shadow.

"The last time we tried this, didn't you describe me as 'nothing of any great worth' or something like that?" My voice sounded more hurt and frightened than I'd wanted it to.

"Our circumstances have changed. Likely I can survive without feeding for the better part of a month, just as you can but I will be weakened by it. It is not to our benefit to be weak."

"But you'll hate it," I said, completely aware of how feeble that sounded. Like I was only looking out for his best interest.

I felt Shadow reach out and gingerly touch the arch of my left foot. I was aware for the first time since our first meeting of how clammy he was, not quite slimy but not clean feeling or properly smooth either. I felt my stomach turn over, more in fear than outright disgust. He could do whatever he wanted to me when I was bound like this and there was sweet fuck all I could do about it.

"I provided you with sustenance, did I not?" I felt the tentacle at my arch split to coil around my toes.

"Yes," I squeaked, trying not to pull away. I didn't want to make him angry. How had this gone so wrong so quickly? "But Perikos was jealous of others using my…" I swallowed hard, tried to find the words but they died in my throat.

"Perhaps," Shadow replied, his tone unconvincingly light, though I imagined he had understood my objection. "Though as I see it we are at an impasse. I see no point in feeding in half measures when it is a simple enough matter to sate myself. You feel intense fear around the Loyalist guards but I cannot get close enough to you to feed adequately from those emotions without being detected. I could try to elicit fear from you myself but I am confident you would object."

He was right. I tried to imagine what Shadow might do to me that would elicit enough fear to satisfy himself with and nothing I could think of was tolerable.

"So we have one foreseeable option. I will have disregard Leader's wishes in favor of his impending escape. He may not forgive me," he sounded for a moment both incredulous and revolted, "but my conscience will be at ease."

The darkness around me became thicker, more impenetrable and I felt the tentacle on my foot began to slide up my calf and inner thigh, leaving a thing trail of moisture in its path.

I couldn't stop myself, I squeezed my legs shut, hard. "I'm happy to hear you won't be losing any sleep over this but can't we come to some kind of compromise?"

When Shadow sang he was much too close, almost ambient. "What could I possibly gain from allowing you to limit my access?"

I began to shake now in earnest. Shadow had every reason in the world to use me hard and claim ignorance. He wanted to hurt me, I could feel it. I felt the tentacle I had caught between my legs thin out and poke at my naked sex. Even as I squeezed my legs together as hard as I could, I couldn't stop him.

"Isn't there any other way we can do this? Whatever else you want, honestly, I'll do it. I swear." I felt an increasingly familiar sting at the corners of my eyes, heard the tremble in my voice as I pulled away as much as possible, pressed my back flush against the wall.

"I do not think there is another way, no. Though I do not mind if you struggle, if it enhances your fear."

I felt the tentacle between my legs wriggle between my tightly closed lips and poke up inside of me, though only just. I closed my eyes, tried to think of something happy, something bright and far away but my imagination failed me utterly and all I could do was concentrate on how unnatural his touch felt, how the sheen of moisture from his skin itched at the inside of my tightly clamped thighs. My face was damp with tears, my nose was running and yet something inside me twisted, not completely unpleasantly. It only made me feel worse.