All Comments on 'Date Night Ch. 03'

...loving until that last moment, then a bit cruel. That's not my taste, so it spoiled it a bit for me.

What happened to the outer story? I'm not trying to slam you man. It was a

decent story but you made a writing mistake that leaves the reader hanging.

This started out as phone sex and NOT even clearly phone sex between a domme

and sub. In fact given that she asked him to tell her a story about where

he gave her anything (in other words he doesn't already) it implies it

wasn't that kind of relationship. When you never complete your larger story

it weakens it. I think it would have been more fulfilling if you had

returned to the "reality" and had her tell him how hot it made it and she

came, etc. and that next time she'll tell him a story. Just my two cents.

I loved the story! the way it played out is great! and the merciless end with the ice is superb! bu i have to agree you kinda lost me with how the explanation of end felt incomplete and how it was a story he was telling. It felt off coz you didn't end it with how the domme reacts to the story and the how the phone call ends.

Though I really hope you write more to tell on what happens after, coz I like the way you play it out.