All Comments on 'Daughters and Fathers Ch. 01'

snorted, she snorted, he snorted, they all snorted? This work must have another meaning? For me it is the noise pigs make. Either way, a nice story but I couldn't get out of my mind the number of times they all 'snorted', or is it just me!

Snorting was mentioned 36 times. Should have been titled, "One Snorting Dad, Two Snorting Daughters".

I have heard the complaint before, perhaps by the same Anonymous.

Sure, pigs and horses snort, but so do humans:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/snort

In the context, my characters snort in surprise, resulting from the involuntary contraction of stomach muscles in response to what someone unexpectedly has said or done. People are likely to snort when recognizing an unintentional double entendre, only laughing if others then do so.

Sniffing in a similar situation is the reverse reflex, catching a sudden breath in surprise. Older ladies might sniff at the double entendre, sitting up straighter (ramrod back), perhaps with a facial expression suggesting: I'm a lady; I didn't hear that - but she did.

My characters enjoy being surprised and snort, maybe then laughing.

I'd suggest that you'd find another word for snorted if you are inclined to continue using the word. or use snort but use other descriptive words for the same thing. it helps to make it sound better. example with run: the boy ran away from the bear. as he continued to flee he noticed the trees began to be more sparse. Onward he dashed away from the preditor... you get the pic. just helps to use other descriptive words

If you say: Snort, snorted or snickered one more time, I will reach through this iPad and strangle you!

The worst story I have ever read on this site.

I'll have my virtual switchblade handy. The other Anonymous can avoid seeing the word by not reading my stories, since all the thousands of stories here are better.

I wish there were other words that meant exactly the same thing as "snort", the way I use it to describe characters' responses. I can't find one, however:

http://thesaurus.com/browse/snort

http://www.thesaurus.net/snort

Funny, no one complains about four-letter words being used repeatedly.

Tedious, self-congratulatory and obviously written because someone (possibly your mom) told everyone her darling little bear was a writer; you're not, this mess is sterling proof of that, and all I want to do now is go somewhere now and snort until my fucking head explodes...

That is a great idea. Can't please all the folks all the time.

I shall delete further anonymous comments about my choice of words.

That English is your second, possibly third language is more than abundantly obvious. Either your mastery of English is so poor that you haven't the skill to write a story in this language properly OR you wrote it in your native language and then translated it, which caused a LOT to be lost in the translation. Bottom line, though, is that you did your entire story a disservice in the way that it's written now. I'm a natural English-speaker and I've heard it spoken with all kinds of accents and in all kinds of ways, but NEVER have I heard "Hmm!" be used so often like you have here.

Your sentence structure is sloppy, your dialogue is barely comprehensible, your characters come across as being almost 2-dimensional, the story quite simply plods along without making much sense, your punctuation is all over the map, you've got a lot of bad grammar/spelling errors... I try my best to avoid telling people that they shouldn't write anymore or that they shouldn't have started in the first place. In your case, however, I come right up to the edge of it. I HIGHLY suggest that you become more familiar with English, as it's spoken AND as it's written. You've got a lot of run-on sentences, incomplete sentences, broken phrases and confusing dialogue.

Just because you know enough English to string words together and make a sentence, that doesn't mean you've mastered it well enough to tell stories.

You have some good idea's but they're getting lost in repetitious use of a particular word. Maybe an editor or new editor ?

Nightshadow, we have quite different styles. Response to my stories will never be a threat to the 100% red hot appreciation of your stories.

You write conversation interspersed with the speaker's thoughts. I try to write dialogue the way people speak, the way I think they do, when they are not expounding about something: shorter sentences, incomplete ones. They banter, interrupt each other and use non-verbal expressions. Everyone uses them, but some readers obviously are upset by reading them. Many others are not.

American English is my first language, I just use it differently from the way you do.

Mm....hmmmm. hmmmmmm...hmmmmmmm.hmmmmmm hmmmmm

Oh, thanks for reminding me: a five-letter word that is going to be liberally overused, after the father asks the girls what they call it, and they all talk more openly about what they want to do. Of course, there are other words for it, but as I explained in the essay "Erotica 101," my characters are relatively civilized in their choice of words.

"Hmmmm"

Hmm, hmm, oooh! Ooh-ooh-oooh! ;-)

Thanks for the comment.

To much snorting and smirking for my liking.

OK, how about asshole, cretin, moron, dipshit, etc.

Very nicely written and loved the content. It is a little slow but they finally get to the point. Loved it. dp

Would be better without the repetitive use of "Hmm's"

a lot of snorting in this story...what's that all about?

I teach English for a living, and even I thought it was your second language based in how you wrote this. The story is decent, but the dialogue is incomprehensible and unbelievably shallow, but the worst part is that it's written like you think you have something important to say. You've ruined any possibility of this being a decent story by refusing to write clearly, and by arrogantly refusing to listen to the very respectful and helpful advice of your readers. This and every other story in this series will be getting a 1 star rating from me just to try to keep too many people from having to read it.

Like seriously cut out the snorting, hmmming hm hmmming and the the ... because it messes up the flow. I enjoy daddy and daughter incest but seriously this saddens me. I was planning on reading the rest but now I won't. But please work on this cuz I do like the content.

Tried reading the story .. but as so many said this 'snorting' business put me right off .. don't know where you live but in England the word is rarely if ever used .. only in the context of snorting cocaine ..

I don't see anything wrong with. my Melanie fooling around with her 87 yo father. Maybe he can't fuck her but he could eat her pussy and assholes! My Melanie is almost 61 yo. Talk about consenting adults! I would certainly share my Melanie with her lucky father!!!