All Comments on 'David's Big Adventure (Interactive)'

Don't listen to anonymous. I think your writing was good. You've set the table for an intriguing continuation. David definitely agrees to accompany the girls out for the evening. They start in a dance club, but the girls are invited to join a secret party in the basement. They won't proceed unless David is allowed to go along, as "protection."

It was good but not enough build up on the sensual/sexual tone. Got to hot to fast. But still good. I think they should all just go get a light dinner together and then have the girls suggest a visit to a sauna before heading back to the hostel to sleep. Have every go into the sauna nude but in towels but david keeps his shorts on. The girls teach him the german way and encourage him to take them off and relax. Avoid sexual talk to build up anticipation for the reader. Keep them comfortable being naked throughout the story together and make it sensual not sexual. And maybe a view chapters latter have one of the girls offer him a hand job upon learning he is a virgin.

I get bored with hard core sex scenarios because everyone does that. Keep it light and titilating to build anticipation. I think that would be keep readers wanting more and waiting for a bigger ending in perhaps a future story line in the series.

I'd love to see Bettina tease him while they are out dancing.

Hmm i think Jamie is the one wich should slowly take control in this room but not only on David, i think she could slowly...smart take control over two other roomates too....like slowly sugest them in interesting way to help her in some stuff like clean for her, do wash, help her with make up etc. some small things for start but slowly slowly take a charge in room it could be interesting