Davy's On The Road Again Ch. 11

"How about you, Flaco? Are you into it?"

"Maybe for a few gigs but you know, I hate touring and anyway, I'm getting too old for this shit and I haven't been feeling all that well lately."

Before we knew it, it was time to head to Studio City. It was not too far north and Mark drove so it took no time. We were ushered in and parked right next to the taping studio. There were fans out there waiting for us and we signed a bunch of autographs. Amy recognized one of the fans as a friend from Aspen and they hugged. Once inside the studio, it took no time to set up and take levels. We played a couple of songs before a small audience and got the okay from the director. We were escorted to the green room and told we'd go on after Maggie and then I'd be escorted to the couch for the interview.

"Amy, how are you feeling? Comfortable?"

"I'm okay but just a little nervous. Linda told me to look at you and not the cameras or the audience. I'm good. Don't worry, baby." and she kissed me.

Maggie Gyllinhaal stopped by our dressing room and we exchanged warm greetings. Naturally, Amy and Deb were all over her and her baby. Craig came in a few minutes later and had us laughing. On the serious side, we spoke about the L.A. Food Bank and about his work with the organization.

"The benefit was great but they wouldn't let me on stage. I'm not big enough yet! I tried to get over to see you at the party but you were mobbed and...I'm not big enough! Ha! Well, fuck you...for a good cause, I mean. And I meant that in the best sense."

"Aw, come on, Craig."

"But hey, this show is for Friday, so when we talk, just make believe it's Friday, okay. And don't worry about your language, we'll just bleep you anyway."

The Floor Manager came by and said that it was show time. As Craig left we wished him a great show. We dressed in our show clothes which were exactly what we wore for the benefit...better to match to the YouTube videos. After about an hour, we were called. Our stage was set during the break and we took our places.

Craig got his cue and introduced us. "We have a treat for you tonight. You know how I like to say that it's a great day for America? Well, last weekend was truly a great day for America and for Los Angeles. There was a benefit for the L.A. Food Bank, which we'll talk about later, but right now, I want to introduce one of the highlight acts that night. Folks, this is a super group - Mark O'Flannery, Flaco Jimenez, Chris Hillman, Amy Bieler and Steve Gadd backing up a true legend. Ladies and Gentlemen, Davy Harper." (applause)

"Every evening around six o'clock, we gather 'round the table,

Mom and Dad and Grampa, me and my sister, Mabel,

We fold our hands and thank the Lord,

For the meal we're about to share,

And vow to do what's right and do all that we are able."

From the downbeat, we were in the pocket. Mark and Flaco danced the solo and it sounded like pearls. Amy's high harmony couldn't be sweeter.

"It's up to us, the those-who-have

To fill the pantry shelves

With cans of food and healthy stuff,

It's how we help ourselves.

So pass the beans, pass them collared greens,

Pass the chicken and dumplings,

And please, please, please, before I blow a gasket,

Pass the juice, pass the butter,

And pass me that old bread basket."

Applause. "Davy Harper and Friends. We'll be right back...right after this." and out.

The stage hands struck the set and it was about fifteen minutes before we began to tape again. I was seated on the couch next to Craig's desk. I asked him if Mark could join us and he agreed but Mark wouldn't do it saying, "It's your moment, man. Enjoy it."

Cue Craig. "Welcome back. Did you remember to flush? Good. I'm here with Davy Harper, a rare treat - someone who rarely appears on television. Davy, let me say that you were great on Saturday night and that song is terrific. I've heard it may become the theme song for the L.A. Food Bank."

"If that song can fill the shelves, I'm happy. All thanks to my buddies, Mark O'Flannery, Steve Gadd, Chris Hillman, Flaco Jimenez, Ry Cooder, Van Dyke Parks, Linda Ronstadt, Steve Martin, Ed Begley, Snoop Dogg and all the folks who made that show happen. Uh, Craig, can I just add that the folks at home can help out by going to lafightshunger.org or by going to their local food banks and pantries and making donations. Bring sealed canned food. A little or a lot, it doesn't matter, it all helps."

"Let me put that up on the screen. You naked people laying in bed at home, write it down! There's a food bank in your neighborhood, check it out and do something.

"Yes, folks, to paraphrase John Lennon, 'Give Peas a chance'."

"Hey! What is this (oohlala)? I'm the funny guy here! It's a joke, it's a joke. Davy, I want to talk about that web site with You and the Tube, if you know what I mean...wink, wink...they don't advertise on this show so why should I plug them."

"Well, Craig, I did a little show in Aspen about a month or so ago. Just some friends and my partner, Amy, at the Woody Creek Tavern outside of Aspen Colorado. Anyway, the next day, it was on the web, on YouTube and it's really taken off. There are also clips of the benefit concert you can check out, too."

"Aren't you angry that someone stole your show and put it on the web?"

"Why should I be mad? I'm tickled that people like the song. I get a kick out of watching it, too. I'm not some music business weasel, you know, let the music out, let it breathe."

"Do you have any plans to take to the road? I'm sure a lot of people around the country...hell, around the world...would love to see you perform and hear your music again."

"Welllll...I'm not at liberty to discuss this yet but I'll tease you little..."

"I love being teased...go ahead, tease me, big boy!" he said mincingly.

"Right now, a traveling show is being planned to tour this summer. Some very big names..like the biggest names in the biz...are planning to raise awareness and maybe even some money for food banks around the country. See the idea is - we hit your town and you bring cans of food and there are big collection bins and then we leave and hit the next town...something like that..."

"But you won't give us any names..."

"It's not formalized yet but you'll know soon enough and I promise all of you, this is the one show you'll want to see...we're bringing back the Summer Of Love!"

"That's sounds great, Davy. You know, I missed the Summer Of Love the first time it came around. I was just a wee laddie back in Scotland, wearing short pants and too young to get really...well, you know what I mean...but hey, I have something here for you. Let me explain to the viewers: when I asked Davy to appear on the show, he made a totally outrageous demand. He said he wanted to play with a puppet. Can you imagine that!...so here's a puppet for you...his name is Stoner and he's a real cool cat...I think he's actually supposed to be an alley cat...here's my puppet...he's a dog and his name is Boner...Stoner and Boner, ya like that?...let's do a scene, okay?"...(This is my dog accent) 'Hey dude...excuse my large privates, would you...I really dig your music and always have. I got all your CDs."

"Far out, man...thanks...I wish I got some royalties from the sales...want to get high?"

"Sure! Whatcha got? Heh Heh."

"Well, come on down when the Food Pantry Cavalcade of Stars comes to your town and the music will make you high, high, high. Here, try some of this..."

Applause and laughter. "Thank you, Day Harper, ladies and gentlemen...be on the lookout this summer and..."

"Bring cans of food to the show. Do the right thing. Let's help out all our brothers and sisters."

Applause. "Thank you, Davy. Good night everyone, see you next week."

Applause. Theme music. Credits. And out. Lights down.

"That was great, Davy. That worked out great."

"Thanks, Craig. I think it turned out real good. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to pitch. I think I got everything in."

We walked backstage and got a nice round of applause from the gang. I thanked them all for helping me and they all said they would see me at the studio. Amy gave me a big hug.

"I can't wait to see this on TV. Tomorrow, we have to call everybody."

We headed back to their house and I was starting to deflate. Mark stopped to pick up some Chinese food. As soon as we returned, I stripped down and hit the hot tub. Mark joined me with his bong.

"You did well, tonight, man. And we rocked."

"You da man, Mark. I can't thank you enough for getting the band together."

"Fuck that. You did a world of good tonight. I thank you."

Amy and Deb joined us in the tub and we sat around reveling. I stood up to get a wine refill and Deb screamed, "You're shaved! You shaved your nuts!"

We laughed and Amy said, "Yes, we did each other this morning. I love the way it feels and there's no picking hair from my teeth!"

"I have to feel that. Come here and let me feel you, Davy." Her small hands cupped my balls in her palm. She stroked her hands all around my crotch and touched everywhere I'd shaved. "Oh, this is nice, They feel so nice and soft."

"Deb, they're even better in your mouth," said Amy as she watched closely. She lifted my dick so Deb could have access as my balls got a nice tongue bath. I smiled and thanked her and then sat back down in the tub.

"Mark, will you let me shave your balls?"

"I don't know about this, Deb. I like my balls the way they are...and you never complained before."

"Stand up and let me see them. Show them to Amy." The girls felt and bobbled his balls in their hands. "These are nice balls but they just don't feel as soft and as fun as Davy's. Come over here, Davy. Feel his balls, Mark, and tell me that isn't so cool."

Mark felt my sac and ran both his hands around. "Yes, I admit that they feel nice. I'll think about it, alright?"

I sat back down. "I'll tell you what I like the most about being shaved. I like the feeling of rubbing against Amy's vagina. Maybe it's psychological or maybe it's the lack of hair but I feel closer and tighter, especially at the base of my dick. It feels nice."

"Let's see how you feel about that when they itch, buddy."

"Chauvinist!," cried Amy. "It's okay for us but not for you, huh? When it itches, I'll rub lotion all over it and it will feel fine...just like we do."

I enjoyed all the give and take but I was in my post-performance crash and I was sinking lower in the tub as my eyes slowly closed.

"Uh-oh. My honey is about to drown. Come on, Davy, let me tuck you in. Come on, big guy, come on. I'll be right back."

I grabbed one more toke as she led me toward the guest quarters. Santo followed us. She tucked me into the king-sized bed and kissed me gently. "I love you, Davy Harper." Santo jumped onto the bed and curled up at my feet. Within minutes, I was out cold and in sweet dreamland.

The next morning, I bounced out of bed. Standing by the picture windows, I took in the radiant sunshine and the amazing view. Mark was swimming laps and I walked out onto the deck and dove in.

"You missed the fun last night. We sat around stoned and told stories and laughed a lot. Those two are intent on shaving me...or at least trimming me. I think I'll let them play with me tonight."

"Somehow, I knew you'd give in. Believe me, Mark, it feels great from this side, too. And don't worry, it won't hurt and they won't slip."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"Davy," Amy called from the kitchen, "coffee's ready." I pulled myself out of the pool, toweled off and went inside as Mark continued to swim.

"Girls, I think you've convinced him. I think he's going to let you trim him tonight."

"Yippee," said Deb. "I think that tonight, Amy and I are going to show you guys the other stuff we bought." She brought her hand to my balls and gently fondled them. "And you are going to love it. I promise."

I smiled at her. I liked her exuberance. I wrapped the towel around myself and sat down for my coffee and toasted rye bagel with cream cheese.

"Davy, Danny called late last night. He said his flight was delayed and was worried that he missed Craig's show. I filed him in and he said he'd call us when he and Kathy woke up. I'm guessing that his wife doesn't know a thing about Kathy, right?"

"Maybe, maybe not. She probably doesn't care. Danny's wife, Irene, is a real drip, and a gold digger - apiece of shit. They had kids and moved apart soon after. She lives in Florida now and won't divorce him. He doesn't care. He says, "Either way, I have to pay her. At least she's a tax deduction this way." Whatever works, I guess. Even their kids don't like her. He and Kathy have had a thing for years ever since her husband died in a car accident. They are very close in his business, as well. Like I said - whatever works. Any plans for today?"

"Deb and I were thinking of playing some tennis this afternoon. Other than checking out what Elon is up to and meeting with Danny, nothing else. ...Oh, yeah...and we also have to email the world about the show tomorrow night."

"Maybe we'll visit my friend Elaine. You'll like her."

Santo was soaking up the sun. Marion and Orson slept by his side and they all looked happy. I sipped my coffee and listened to the girls jabber away. I headed back to our room to hit the bathroom. I also wanted to check my email.

I got a nice note from Craig saying how well the show went. Another email from Flaco. One from my daughter. One from my sister. a few "grow-your-penis" junk. Danny called me and asked where I was and did I want to met them for breakfast. I told him that I'd already had breakfast and that they should have breakfast in bed and then call me back so I could give him directions to Mark's house. I proceeded to email all my friends and family about Craig's show. I called my daughter, my sister, even the nurse at my mother's Alzheimer's home in Florida. About an hour later, Danny called and said they'd be over in a few minutes. I walked out to tell Mark as he was walking out to see me.

"I have a studio for you at four this afternoon. Steve, Chris and Flaco will be there. Flaco asked if he could call Van Dyke and I said yes. We're good to go."

"That's great, Mark. You know I haven't been in a studio in a long time but I like to record live with a minimum of dubs. I'd like to do three demos: "Breadbasket," "...Key of Me" and Amy's song. I can make some dupes and give them to Danny to copyright. I don't want to put these out, except maybe to give "Breadbasket" to the Food Bank with a provision to allow other food banks to use it. I'll give them the royalties, too. But I want to pay all the musicians, including you. Give me a number and I'll pay them all cash."

"I appreciate the offer but I won't take your money and neither will the other guys." He put his arm over my shoulder. "Listen Davy, I've spoken to them and what you don't seem to understand is that your success means a lot to us. We all know what the business did to you and we know how hard you fought back but we also realize that it wasn't enough and they buried you. You inspired us then and now that you've returned from the dead, you inspire us again. We all have a vested interest in you because you are us. Don't you see that? So thanks but no thanks."

Tears welled up in my eyes and I began to cry. I really had no idea that I'd ever made any impact on anybody, let alone my peers or my idols. Mark and I hugged. I felt more resolved than ever before to destroy the music companies that had stolen my youth and my altruism, who left me to wallow in purgatory while they laughed at me. I felt the anger at my ex and her family and how they debased me constantly over my career. At that moment, I understood that my career and my art wasn't just some youthful spree. I always thought I was alone and I never saw the crowd around me. I felt ashamed but I also felt redeemed.

I heard sounds in the house. Danny and Kathy had arrived and Amy and Deb were introducing themselves. I collected myself and wiped off my eyes.

"Thank you, Mark. You can never ever understand how much that meant to me. I will never forget it. I love you, my friend."

"I know. I know. Now let's meet Danny and hear the game plan. Tomorrow is Armageddon."

They came out onto the deck and one look from Amy told me that she knew something very heavy had just gone down. I smiled at her and greeted Danny.

"Davy, my friend. You look better than I've seen you look in years. I guess I should thank Amy for that." I hugged Danny and turned to hug Kathy.

"Kathy, how long has it been? The two of you look wonderful."

"Quiet, Davy. Irene will hear you!" I introduced him to Mark and he began to compliment him. Same old Danny, effusive and warm. He and Kathy were still two little pudgeballs, like two peas in a pod. And he was still the same hamish New Yorker.

"Mark, this is some nice spread. What a beautiful view. And nobody deserves it more than you. Good for you."

"Why don't all of you come into the living room. I'll make some more coffee." Deb pointed the way as we sat down around the room.

"First thing, Davy, I brought you some presents. Manny's closed their doors but I bought you a box of your favorite picks. Here." I smiled and laughed inside. "And this is from your kid who told me to tell you how proud she is of her dad." He handed me a bakery box tied with string. I opened it up to reveal a half dozen Yonah Schimmel Potato Knishes from Delancey Street.

"My favorite." I showed them off and Amy put them in the fridge for later.

"Amy, Mark got us studio time at four with the A-team band."

"Maybe tennis is for tomorrow, then. Is that okay, Deb?" Deb shrugged as if to say 'who cares'.

"Davy, you have no idea how glad I am that you're writing and singing again. I always knew this day would come and I am so proud and happy for you. Everything that went before is leading up to now, you know. I mean, look what happens - you sing in Aspen, someone videos it and next thing you know, the whole world wants it. I bumped into ChuckD the other day on 8th Avenue and he just looked at me and said, "What goes around comes around. You tell Davy Harper we're all rooting for him."

"Chuck is a good man."

"First off, I have to have you two sign some partnership papers. Davy, your signature is in the blue flags and Amy, you sign where the green flags are, ok. This one first...good...now this one..."

"Shouldn't we be reading these first?" asked Amy.

"Sure if you want to but I have copies of everything for you. I put these together with your guys in Aspen. If there's anything you don't like, we'll rip these up and amend them."

"Amy," I said, "I trust Danny implicitly. He's the very best at what he does and I know that he'd never do anything to harm me. You can trust him, too."

"Ok, if you say he's good, he's good. But I still want to go over them later with you. Now, where do I sign."

"Over here...over here on this one and over here. That's the last one, right Kathy?" Kathy nodded and collected the paperwork. She put them in separate envelopes and handed one set to Amy.

Danny continued, "That's all done. Now here's my analysis of tomorrow's meeting and forgive me but this has been rolling through my mind for a few weeks now." Kathy handed him a folder and, putting on his bifocals, he glanced through it. "Uh, huh. Uh, huh. Okay. Now look, Warner's is going to try to play fast and loose because they don't know any other way. It's their culture. They're going to talk about how great it is to have you back in the family and all the rest of that bullshit. When they discover that you don't want to be back in their house, they're going to make offers and sweet talk you. At that point, we lay it down on the table - but not all our cards. We tell them that we want all the masters, all the cover art, all the publishing rights - you know, the whole nine yards, if I might use a garment district saying..."