All Comments on 'Dawn Breaks'

The title of the comment says it all. I hope you have more.

Loved the story! Could really feel the connection and beautiful bond that I have experienced personally! Brought back memories... than you!

Well laid out with a stirring buildup. Very well done.

This was an awesome story. The context was one of the most amazing of any story in this site. If you don't win some kind of award something's wrong.

good until he got forcful and mean that was a real turn off it is never acceptable to use force this should have been in the nonconsensual area not here

Nice erotica, ...

But you should check words with which you are not familiar ... See "http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/extenuate"

... In "Lately, I'd gotten more adventurous. I'd made sure I was wearing black lace panties and a tight little vest, one that would extenuate the shape of my tits.", 'extenuate' does not fit your intentions. ... Keep writing, and thanks!

"Extenuate" means "dilute" or "thin out". I think the word you're looking for is "accentuate", meaning "put emphasis on".

While the previous comments did point out the need to double-check a few particular words, I’m happy to see past that and look into the heart of the story. It is an excellent first outing on Lit. You captured a very heightened sense of eroticism with the use (or lack thereof!) of the condom. The risk, the danger, the lust, the passion…all there!

There was indeed a bit of sudden directness in how the brother initiated intercourse with the sister. Perhaps in a future chapter we’ll learn why he was acting like this. Will there be a bit of regret? Whatever you do, just continue writing and allow us to see these two new lovers discover more about each other…and about their sexuality.

Oh, and I've already made you one of my Favorites in my Literotica profile. I have that much faith in you, Melody!

That was amazingly hot! Felt so real and drew me in. I loved the forceful interplay. Wow!

love this story so very erotic full of sex.

reading this was like standing in the room see the brother

having sex with the sister watching him cum inside her

then seeing the love juice running out from her pussy

down between her legs on to her ass and her patting

all out of breath with a big smile on her face

still filling very horny fantastic story keep up the great writing.

I loved reading this story, it is a great first start. Why did you not finish it? Please write a second chapter as this is too good of a story to leave as is. Why did you stop writing?

Love it, I like how the tension builds up, I can really believe this story. It's to tender yet so rough. <3

unfinished and has violence not worth the time it took to read it this needs a DELETE button now.

Loved it.

but this one did. Breathtaking writing. Thank you.

So loving. Loved it.

You must write more of this story. Repeated encounters... her pregnancy...

great beginning - finish the story. perhaps continuing love making during and after the pregnancy.

Should have put her in the pudding club