All Comments on 'Dawn's First Time, In The Rain'

Appalling style, very immature, as though written by a 14 year old.

You story was a good idea and not badly done although a little formal sounding. You need to relax a bit. Also, I was disappointed that you didn't describe the sexual experience with each other at all. That was a big loss and I'd suggest you fill it in.

this story was written by a kid or something? what is the deal with this thing? can we at last get creative with the names??? cmon its a cheap ripoff of gene kelly and dancing in the rain....cmon

your to science about this shut the uck up and go die!