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All Comments on 'Day Out'

by IsabellaDeclan

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  • 2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Great Start

Your character is lovemaking, not just having sex, in this one. Sensitive, but erotic. You might have drawn out the lovemaking a little longer, but I thought it was a great first story. Will look forward to your next.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Didn't Start Well...

...so didn't bother continuing.

You need to check the difference between "make up" and "makeup".

Anonymous
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