All Comments on 'Dealing with the Devil'

It is good to see you writing again.

Both of your characters were very likable. I thought you were going to go in a very different direction with the pirate. Sweet, uncomplicated, and fun.

I dunno, I feel like not much really happened in this story? We've got two characters, we've got a setting, we've got some sex, but it could scarcely be called eventful. Now and then it seemed to be veering off in one direction or another, but that always receded back.

Will there be some kind of drama or puzzle or even, dare we say it, misunderstanding about finding each other in costume? No, there won't, they'll spot each other almost right away. Will this flirty bozo cause some kind of conflict? No, he'll just wander off. Will a coworker's inappropriate comments set something into motion? Nope; never a mention again. The story keep sliding back into a mostly uneventful middle course. And then we cut straight to the chase for some fucking; which is fine, but does it sort of feel like this scene could have happened just as well without the rest of the story?

Perhaps it's supposed to be no more than that: a vignette or slice of life kind of thing. But for that to work, we've just got to have something more compelling. Who are these people, really? Why do we care about them? We know they're married, they're constantly hot for each other, and...at least one of them has this job, whatever it is? Not a lot to work with. What do we know about their lives together outside of this party? What do they want out of life or their relationship? What's important to them? What do they even see in each other? I don't know any of these things. All I know after having read this is, okay, they seem happy together. So happy it's a little dull, actually. In the end, I can't shake the idea that this story has too little ambition.

Thank you for the thoughtful comment, TamLin01.

I am inclined to agree with you. I am thinking this will not be a standalone and that I will pick up a trail you mentioned and follow it- I have been pondering it for awhile. My writing fingers are rusty and this was just something to have in for the season and contest. When I come back to it, your feedback will be valuable. Thank you!

I appreciate the time you took to leave me that well thought out comment. Happy reading!

I really liked this one. That glorious sexual tension you created in the beginning is amazing and makes the crux of the story that much more intimate and exciting. That hunger and the hints of jealousy here and there are truly fantastic. I love how you made it very sexy and romantic without sounding cheap or juvenile.

The only problem was how long it took you to write again. Seriously. This was like your first entry since 2012? You're killing me. Please write more!

...Mark and Lily!