All Comments on 'Death & Love Ch. 02'

The author has captured the sensitivity encompassed by the emotions between a dying man and his sister but spoiled it slightly when he included S&M in the defloration of the sister. The sister had already declared her love for her brother and, in so doing, intimated that she wanted the loss of her virginity to be an act of love. Although the author tried to justify the pseudo-rape by having the brother coerse his sister into asking for rough sex, I felt that this was unnecessary and detracted from what is, otherwise, a beautiful, incestuous love story. I still awarded 5 stars.

Thanks for the comment Rafman,

I was trying to make the scene more an act of lust but I see my mistake now. There will be no S&M type scenes from now on.

you still haven't learned to use a good editor and you still haven't rewritten the first chapter like you promised. adding the S&M ruined the flow and plot if you fel you need that in your stories then use the BDSM area not incest. killing T.J. was not needed and like most other writers here you will probably sweep it under the rug and fail to have the killer caught and punished. SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND SOME RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND ALWAYS USE A GOOD EDITOR AND KEEP YOUR PROMISES

DBRS

1: I have rewritten the first chapter, you probably jusr never read the original.

2: I realise the mistake I made with the S&M scene and I fully apologize for including it.

3: I do infact have a plan for T.J.'s death it wasn't just some random idea, and trust me, someone will be punished.

4: I am still a new writer and haven't found an editor yet, in all honesty I don't know how to get one.

I agree with the others about the way you changed from Love to S&M. I also read your feedback to those comments. I also believe in second chances and would not wish to condemn a guilty person who has suffered the wrath of others and seen their wrong and promised to make it right.

Regarding Editors; go back and look for the Authors help references and you will find a list of editors.

In the meantime, keep on writing. It was a pretty good read for a rather new author.

I've been waiting ages for the next chapter this is one of my favorites, I just wish Caleb didn't have to die. Wicked chapter can't wait for the next one. :D

not enough love and closeness, just pain and hopelessness, hard to read.

Its good that you keep every characters feeling I account