Decisions Ch. 06

My dad always told me that we never choose where we get to start in life. We simply got dealt a deck of cards. It might be a great hand, it might be a shitty hand. Nobody cared. What the people did care about was that you had to play with what you had. I decided right then and there that I liked the hand I got and the way I reacted to it. I really, really did. I mean, I already knew that, but you should always appreciate what you got, right?

My ears perked up as I heard Stasi say and give her goodbye hugs to Lucy and Jazz, closing the front door behind them and saying something to my mom. Their voices were too quiet to decipher, but Stasi began to come upstairs. A moment later, I saw Stasi's shadow in the hallway, leaning into my room.

"Chris? It's time for dinner." She said, softly.

"Not hungry." I murmured.

"You're a terrible liar. Does your head hurt too much to get out of bed?"

I froze when she said I was a terrible liar. She knew me too well. "Yes." I admitted. "Do you think you can ask my mom if I can have another ibuprofen pill? I'm sorry for lying."

"Don't be." She replied, lovingly. "I'd have said the same thing." She slightly turned up the light in my room. Not enough to make my head pound, but enough so she could see where she was going. She walked into my room and bumped the door with her hip, closing it. The only reason she didn't use her hands were because they were occupied. "I told your mom that you had another headache, so she told me to bring you dinner. You had enough pills to tranquilize an elephant."

"I love you and I never say it enough."

"I love you too, zaichik." She placed the plates down on my night stand, sat down on the side of my bed, and gave me a kiss. "Move over. I have something to say." I scooted over to give her some space and gave her my ear. Stasi took a deep breath.

"You know how long I've loved you, Chris?" I was just about to reply, but she put her finger on my lips. "Shh... the question was rhetorical. I loved you ever since we were little kids running around on the playground in the first grade. I loved you even more when you pretended to be sick in the seventh grade so you could take care of me when I was actually sick. Do you remember?"

"Yeah. You threw up on my lap." I laughed. She was incredibly sick that day.

Stasi covered her face in her hands in embarrassment. "Oh my god. No, not that part!" She wailed adorably. "You just ruined the moment. That was so embarrassing. I thought you would have hated me forever."

"I was too far in love with you to hate you forever." I chuckled. "It was a good thing I was still the same size as Vik was so I had a change of clothes. So what?"

"So..." Stasi removed her hands from her face and reached for the knife on the plate. I thought she was going to stab me for bringing up the 'incident' but instead, she used it to start buttering my baked potato. According to my mom, potassium was really good for headaches. I'm pretty sure she was a witch doctor because of how effective her home remedies were. "Do you remember what you said to me when I asked you if you'd ever do it again because I thought I had a really weak immune system?"

"I said a lot of things that day." I smiled softly although I knew what she was talking about.

"You said that..."

"I'd take care of you forever if you ever needed it." I finished, with a loving smile on my face. "So what?"

"So..." She set the knife down. She broke off a piece of potato with her fork, dipped it in sour cream, and guided it to my mouth.

"Stasi, I can fe-.." I began, sitting up.

"Ah, ah, ah!" She started. She narrowed her eyes and gave me an intimidating lock. It was absolutely endearing so I decided to lay back down on my bed. Stasi pushed the fork closer to my mouth. I finally decided to submit. I opened my mouth and clamped my teeth around the hot, starchy potato and swallowed it. It tasted great.

"Chris, you spent the entire day taking care of a scared, lonely, and very sick, vampire who happened to be your best friend. To this day, you still take care of the scared vampire by never leaving her side, giving her what she needs to live, talking to her for hours on the phone late at night, tutoring her little sister, protecting and watching over her little brother, and being the best love of her life that you can be, so now when you're injured, sick, and bedridden, that vampire is going to be taking care of you and will take care of you forever, if you ever need it." Her hand trailed lower and patted a part of my body that only she became recently acquainted with in the past few months.

"In more ways than one... but that's for when you feel better and when your mom isn't downstairs." She grinned devilishly when she heard me groan, her fangs exposing themselves. She jammed her fork in the potato once again. "Now, if you want to feel better and have some fun under the sheets in the next few days, you'll eat up. Mouth open, please."

Although I could've easily fed myself, I liked having Stasi feed me. It was nice to lay back and enjoy without having to go through the effort of lifting your own fork sometimes.

Stasi fed me until I couldn't eat anymore and then laid with me, already confirming that she would spend the night. With my homework done, all I wanted to do was sleep. But, I couldn't. I had something to do before I did. On the day of Thanksgiving, Stasi fed off me. It was a good amount to cure her of deprivation, but not enough to last her the entire month. Rather, it was only supposed to last a few days. It had already been a few days. By using deductive reasoning, Stasi needed to feed.

"No." Stasi answered as soon as I brought it up. "No. Nope. Nyet. Non. Nada."

"Stasi..." I began.

"Don't 'Stasi' me, Chris. I said no."

"Stasi..."

"Didn't I just say not to 'Stasi' me, Chris? Look, I get it. I'm a vampire, I need to feed, but trust me when I say it. I can last until you're healthy."

"I'm healthy now!"

"You just got out of the hospital." She pointed out.

"Yeah, but I was only there for a day."

"You were there for three!" She snapped.

"Asleep for two." I countered. She scowled at me. "Stasi, it wasn't that bad! It wasn't like I was nearly killed or anything. Stasi... please. You need to feed. You took care of me today, let me take care of you tonight. Like I promised when we were kids."

"Chris, you don't understand."

"What don't I understand. Please tell me." I pleaded.

Stasi's lip quivered. "I'll lose control if I do feed off of you." She pointed out.

"No, you won't." I replied.

"Yes, I will! The last few times were already pretty damn close."

"You haven't nearly lost control in a month."

"I haven't fed in a month!"

"You fed a few days ago."

"That doesn't count! Chris, you don't know what it's like, I'm telling you." She cried, in anguish. She sat up on the bed, looking down at me. "I love you, but you don't know what it's like to be me, to be hungry all the time, to want to hurt the people around me who I... who I care about." Tears started to form at the edge of her eyes and she cupped my cheeks in her hands. "Lyubov, I already nearly lost control so many times. If I ever lost it and hurt you, I could never ever live with myself."

I grabbed hold of her hands, holding onto them. "Anastasia Antonova Sokolov..." I exclaimed, lovingly. "You won't lose control. You have never lost control and you will never lose control. You know how I know? I know because I love you. I have what you need now let me give it to you."

She stared down at me and closed her eyes. A tear dripped down her cheek. It wasn't a tear of anguish, despair, or sadness. It was one of happiness and slight contentment. "I can never get enough of those three words." She murmured. She opened them, conflict raging behind her blue irises.

"Chris..." She begged, her voice wavering.

"Stasi." I said, firmly. "I love you. I trust you. I know you can do it. You've already controlled yourself every time that we've done this. You can do it again. I know you can."

Her voice came out quiet, barely loud enough that I could hear it. "Lay back and tilt your head." She whispered. I simply nodded and laid back on the bed, looking up at her. Stasi gently moved under the covers so her deliciously firm body was straddling my lap. I looked up at her, my breath nearly being taken away. How did I get so lucky to have her in my life?

"How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?" She asked, her voice as fragile as broken glass.

"I was just thinking of the same thing." I replied.

Stasi placed her hands on either side of my head. She bent downwards, running her body along mines and planting a soft kiss on my lips. "If you still want out..." Her voice trailed off.

"Stasi... you already know what I'm going to say to that."

She looked into my eyes, crystal blue on chocolate brown, and nodded. "I love you. But please..." She begged. "If I don't stop, please do whatever it takes to stop me."

"Ya doveryayu tebe." I murmured. I trust you.

She gasped and kissed me once more. With her left hand, she placed it on my temple, tilting my head to the side. I wrapped my arms around her, making sure her cold body was flush against mine. With my head fully tilted and my jugular fully exposed, Stasi brought her mouth close to my neck, swallowing nervously. "I'll be quick. I promise." She extended her fangs, aligned them with the vein, and bit down.

I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be doing this, seeing as I just got out of the hospital, but I wasn't complaining. Of course, the initial feeling of Stasi's razor-sharp fangs biting down on my neck made me wince, but the feeling of her drinking from me was indescribable. It was blissfully and woefully peaceful. Every mouthful that she took, she moaned quietly to herself, no doubt from the feeling of being able to feed after days of hunger.

I really didn't know why we procrastinate on this type of stuff.

She continued to suck on my neck, drinking my blood, and I laid there, my breathing slowly becoming a wheeze. My vision was starting to grow hazy, just like when I was waking up at the hospital. Soon, I was bordering on unconsciousness, my breathing becoming shallow. "Stasi." I mumbled, lightheaded.

Immediately, her eyes flashed open as she stared at me in a panic. She let go of my neck and sealed the wound with a lick from her dainty, pink tongue. She leaned over me and came into my field of view, her long raven hair tickling my face as it poured over my like a waterfall of midnight. "Chris? Are you ok?"

I wasn't sure if her knocking me out from blood loss was healthy, but right now, sleep seemed to be the right antidote to my throbbing headache. "I told you, that you had good self control." My voice came out a soft slur as I tripped over my words. "But a little too much, dear."

"I'm sorry, zaichik." Stasi heaved a sigh of relief and laughed lyrically. "You're right. I guess I just had to get some confidence." She continued to straddle me, grinding and squeezing my body slightly with her thighs, thighs that were toned from years of volleyball. She looked different already. Her alabaster skin had a glow to it, a pinkish hue. She looked fuller. I wasn't sure if that was the proper word, but that's what it was. She didn't pack on weight. She just looked... more complete. More happy. More energetic. More... Stasi.

"You know, lyubov..." Stasi began.

"Hm...?" I was just about to fall asleep.

"Someday, maybe not today... Maybe tomorrow, maybe the day after. But someday, you're going to be in tip-top shape again, and when you are, I'm going to be right there. You know why?"

"Why?" I breathed, my eyes as heavy as bricks.

"Because I'm going to rock your world when that happens. Like I said before, feeding puts me in the mood."

I fell asleep a happy kid. Not because of what she said, but because I had a feeling in my gut that this was going to be the last time that Stasi was ever nervous about feeding. She had an irrational fear of losing control, and although that may always be there, it took a backseat to the love she had for me.

Chapter 3:

Have you ever fallen asleep at 6:30 PM and slept until your alarm went off? Lucy did that once during junior year, when she was so sleep deprived during finals that once she laid down on her bed to study, she promptly passed out. When she awoke at 6:00AM the next morning, she told me that it was the greatest experience in the history of mankind... or spiderkind. To her, it was like a drug.

I went to sleep at 9:00 PM because I was so tired and woke up at 6:00 AM with Stasi in my arms. It might not be as good as what Lucy tried that one time, but I'm pretty sure it was pretty damn close. I wish I could always arise from slumber like this, my arms around her svelte body. I woke up first, as I always did. At first, I was confused as to what happened the night before, but then it all came back.

I looked around my dimly lit room, listening to the sounds of Stasi's adorable light snoring. Although I didn't want to disturb her, it was still a school day. I didn't even want to wake up! Besides, even if she didn't want to get up now, she'd kill me if I let her ruin her perfect attendance. "Stasi..." I whispered, gently shaking her. "Stasi, wake up."

She cracked an eye open and turned her head, a bleary blue iris gazing back at me from beneath a curtain of raven hair. "Nyet." She replied sleepily, snuggling back under the covers. "Don't want to. Go back to sleep, handsome man from my dreams."

I chuckled. "Handsome man from your dreams needs beautiful woman from my fantasies to wake up or they'll both be late for school."

"Noooooo." She moaned, turning around and burying her face in my neck, her voice coming out muffled. "Five more minutes, please."

"Fine. Five more." I conceded.

"Ya lyublyu tebya." She grunted, nipping at my neck with her fangs.

"Love you, too."

I refused to close my eyes for even a second. I didn't want to close them for 'five minutes' at 7:00 AM and reopen them to see my clock reading 8:00 AM. That was quite possibly the worst way to ever start your morning. But here, with my best friend/love of my life in my arms, nothing was better. Not even falling asleep at 6:30 to sleep for almost twelve hours straight.

I gently extracted my dead arm from under Stasi, hoping to get out of bed early to get a nice headstart in the bathroom before Stasi occupied it. As I sifted myself out of the covers, I had half a mind to stay in my warm furnace of a bed. My room was absolutely freezing! Thankfully, Stasi snatched my wrist with her even colder hand before I went anywhere. She peeked up from the pillow. "Where do you think you're going, mister?"

"Bathroom, then I'm getting ready for school." I answered.

Stasi made a face. "What's the point of making me wait five minutes if you're not in bed with me?" She whined. "I might as well just get out of bed."

I gave her a look.

"I guess that's the whole point, then." She sighed.

My heart broke at her forlorn look. "Do you really want to go back to bed for another 300 seconds?"

"No, no. You know that when I wake up I can't go back to sleep. Might as well as get ready." She peeled away the covers, stretching lithely like a cat. "Ooooh... that felt good." She purred. "What do you want for breakfast?" I simply stared at her. My little vampire could make anything look sexy. She snapped her fingers in my face. "Hello, anybody home?"

"You're so beautiful." I blurted, making her face redden. I hadn't realized how much I missed it. The cute blush that always stained her cheeks. When it usually was time for feeding, no matter how embarrassed Stasi got, she never was able to turn red due to the lack of blood circulating her body.

"Thanks, lyubov. You're not so bad, yourself." She replied. She winced and scratched the back of her head, looking at the window in embarrassment. "I mean! I mean, you don't just look bad. You look great. You look amazing. You know, you look beautif-... no. Wrong word to use. You look.."

"I know what you mean, don't worry." I laughed. "Don't try and dig yourself into a bigger hole." She chucked a pillow at me, which I caught, and tossed back onto the bed. "Come on, get up." I said, over my shoulder as I walked into the bathroom, yawning slightly.

"I'm coming." Stasi grumbled. "Let me just text my parents to make sure that I don't have to take Elena and Viktor to school. Did you know that Viktor's going to start driving soon?"

"Oh yeah?" I asked, flicking on the light in my bathroom, wincing from the sudden brightness. A dull ache resounded in my head, but it wasn't dreadfully painful like yesterday. Taking that as a good sign, I crossed the tile floor, turning the knob for my shower. Water spurted out of the showerhead.

"Yeah." The mattress of my bed squeaked, signifying that she was coming off. "He's going to be getting his permit in January. That'll be fun. He'll want us to teach him how to drive." As I waited for the water to begin heating up (which took an awful long amount of time, given the age of my house), I quickly brushed my teeth in the sink.

"Is that even legal?" I asked, spitting the toothpaste into the sink and running my brush under the water. I tapped the toothbrush on the side of my sink to shake off the excess water and placed it back in my cup. I then took off my t shirt, shucking it into my hamper.

"Not sure. Probably not." Stasi admitted. She came to the bathroom, leaning on the doorway and looking at me appreciatively. Where her eyes fell, I found gooseflesh popping up. I inadvertantly shivered under her gaze. "Cold?"

"A bit. I'm about to warm up in the shower, though."

"Is your head ok?"

"Head? A bit. I still get headaches from bright lights, but I'm good enough to go to school. Maybe all I needed was some rest and loving attention from my beautiful, totally amazing, devoted girlfriend."

"Any more of that and my head will start to get bigger. Bagels for breakfast?"

"Sure." I replied. I debated whether or not I should wait for her to leave the bathroom before I fully stripped down. I was a bit shy, but it wasn't like Stasi hadn't seen those parts of my body before and she didn't look like she was going to leave anytime soon. I hooked my thumbs around my sweatpants and briefs, pulling them off in one go and stepping out of them. I quickly hopped in the shower, closing the curtain behind me.

"Alright, I'll make them so we can just munch on the way to school. Turns out, we don't have to pick Elena and Vik up so that'll save us some time. Let me just brush my teeth first." She announced.

"Mi casa es su casa." It wasn't just an expression. I used it quite literally. My house was her house. I rinsed myself off in the gloriously hot water. I felt the sleepiness already disappearing from my body.

"Chris, do you have any extra contact lenses fluid?" Stasi asked.

"Under the sink." I replied, running my hand through my wet hair.

"Thanks, lyubov."

My ears perked up as I heard movement in the bathroom. I turned my head to look beyond the shower curtain. I could barely see Stasi, only being able to watch her silhouette going through her morning routine. From the sounds of it, it looked as if she was putting on her contact lenses, then brushing her teeth. Every so often spat the toothpaste into the sink, only to rebrush and pay closer attention to her fangs, scrubbing like a madman. She was super meticulous when it came to her dental hygiene.

Soon enough, she finished and rinsed her toothbrush under her sink, placing it back in the cup. She gargled water from the sink, rinsing her mouth and spat back into the basin. That's where I got confused.

The water to the sink cut off, but her silhouette showed that she appeared to be giggling and standing in the middle of the bathroom, looking around. Her hand was cupped over her mouth, her thinking pose. She slowly turned on the spot, and I was wondering where she was going until it hit me. She was going directly for the toilet.