All Comments on 'Deep Undercover Ch. 03'

Thanks for sharing it .

But it's a pity you didn't let it last longer. This finale is hurried and explains less than expected.

A bit disappointed

A-For effort

This was such a good series and you wrote it with great detail but I feel like something is missing and incomplete with this series. If you want my opinion there should be one more installment in this series where las casas and dana meet up again when dana is herself and no longer a cop since she quit. Hopefully you do it because right now it feels rushed and incomplete.

I waited and waited to see an update to this story and finally!!! Luckily I was able to read without being rushed. I am a bit heart broken that the series has ended so soon. Would you ever consider writing a sequel with Dana meeting Jorge under new circumstances?

Will definitely read this chapter again just because!

There were sooo many ways you could have gone with this story and you took it hollywood goodie-two-shoes direction! Why???

All I can say is it seems like you lost interest in your own story. Such a damn shame.

2 stars... too rushed, skipped what could have been great drama, sunk a knife into an interesting romance. I wish you'd re-write chapter 3 and put some depth into it.

was really hoping that Dana and Jorge would end up together..continue the story I say!

I've really enjoyed the series but did find the ending a little unsatifying. Still giving you 4*

I too, would like to see Dana and Jorge together. However that would be an unnatural departure from the characters as we know them and the realities of the violence that's enmeshed in a drug lord's life. As for being rushed, I figure additional chapters would repeat the sex/violence in different settings. Still there's room for a sequel. I hope you're inclined to write one.

I did not like the ending! I think you need to make sure Dana is on that boat when he picks it up and write ch 4.

While I love a happy ever after, the ambiguous ending was perfect for this story. There were no heroes, only damaged and tragically damaged. These characters had some depth but also lots of flaws so IMO, the ending was perfect. Although I really would have like to see Dana beat the living snot out of Espinoza.

I come to these sites to read porn. Sometimes the story is so well written that the porn becomes secondary, and this story did that. I enjoyed the ending of the flawed characters thanks for the great yarn.

Dana and Jorge should end up together. It would be great if u could write a chapter 4 with an ending that suits that... But keep him the bad guy only Dana also turns evil or something. I sound stupid. I know. But written by u I feel it would be a great book.

Maybe I am sucker for happy endings, but I am feeling unsatisfied....

This story got under my skin and I wanted to let you know you did a good job of grabbing the readers attention with complex, flawed characters and a unique plot line. Like everyone else, I was a bit surprised by the ending, not necessarily because you didn't have them end up together, but more so because the last chapter just seemed too rushed and ended too abruptly IMHO. Still, excellent noncon/reluctance story. I read it yesterday and I'm still thinking about it some today and to me, that is a big part if an author's job...to write stories and characters that stick with readers after they finish reading.

~LB

Dana doesn't want to return to the Academy, so what does she do? What happened to the twins? After all Dana has been through does she return to Jorge? There's no mention of the three woman and what happened to them. A chapter 4 or a sequel series is called for.

Obviously, the writing and dialogue were both fantastic. Great job on the details and characters.

But what I really loved about this was that it was like watching a movie. Those are the only kinds of long stories that I'll read. And this one grabbed my attention from the start. It was filled with twists and turns. The ending (last 2-3 pages) were also very exciting. Frankly, it was the most excited I had ever felt reading a story. It was movie like, as I've mentioned.

I also found the story extremely erotic in some areas. My favorite sex scenes would have to be Dana with the old general, and Crespo being tortured by watching his wife and his mother being ravished. Wow, that was unique.

Great job on this. I hope, somewhere down the line, there will be another riveting detective story from you, or at the very least, another twisted nonconsent story (like what happened to Crespo)

Thanks writing this.

-HeyAll

Excellent writing - the story is very vivid and the characters are compelling. I disagree with most of the others who think Dana and Jorge should have ended up together. They definitely did not belong together and it's good she got some closure with Jorge. It is also good she left Harris as well, you can't really go back after that experience. I do wish you might have included some details about what happened with Dana and the twins afterwards since they were central to your story but not knowing is ok too. I suppose that allows us to come to our own conclusion.

Nicely done...great read!

Ending ruined the whole story.

Great writing, it was like a movie but a HEA between Dana and Jorge would have wrapped it nicely compared to a rushed ending.

Spy story in which sex is well included without forcing.

Best story on Lit!

The story is well written but its ending is mediocre at best. Dana is either out or in, she can't be both.

Great read. Gritty and intense. Lack lustre ending; either hurried or bored?

Good story to last chapter re write!!

This had a very solid flow to it, great characters and a solid plot.

I'm looking forward to reading more of your work!

Excellent story, has all the makings of a movie script. You're very talented.