All Comments on 'Deflowering the Babysitter'

Really enjoyed your story. Found a few typos that didn't overly distract the flow (prooof reading would be a good idea). Look forward to reading some of your previous postings. A part 2 to this one would be interesting. Thank you - 5 stars.

One star for not knowing where the Hymen is, shoving fingers in her pussy would already broke it as it is just inside the pussy maybe an inch or so.

Also how did she have a bra on when she went without one?

Over all I liked your story and thought it very hot and exciting for a girls first time, the girl/girl sex was great.

Looking foreword to part two but please leave out any anal.

While the other guy had some bad things to say about a few of the items you missed but overall great story and please continue. If you want help i am one of the eiditors for this site can look over that and typos for you

I liked this story a lot. It was very hot.

However, as "Lost" Anonymous pointed out, the hymen is NOT somewhere inside the vagina. It isn't even 1" or 2" inside, as "Lost" Anon says. The hymen is at the entrance to the vagina. Once you stick anything (finger, tongue, cock, dildo, carrot, hair brush handle, etc.) into the vagina itself, you've breached the hymen. Sam getting three fingers inside Julie would have totally obliterated any remnants of a hymen. I find it especially disappointing when the author perpetuating the myth is a woman, who should know her female body parts from personal experience.

There were also a few errors in positioning. If Julie is sitting in Sam's lap (i.e. on Sam's thighs), how is Sam able to wrap her legs around Julie's in order to hold them open? And in order for the two ladies to have their pussies aligned for Jake to fuck them both, Sam would have had to be lying back, with Julie's butt sitting on her lower belly. Kinda hard to do when they are sitting on a sofa, even if Sam scoots down a bit.

There were a couple typos, but, in my own experience, even when you have more than one person proofread/edit for you, some typos can still manage to slip through. The ones here weren't numerous enough to be egregious.

One error I'd like to correct is the use of the word "confident" when referring to Julie's diary. The word you were looking for is confidant (masc.) or confidante (fem.).

Still, I enjoyed the story and look forward to additional chapters. The dialogue alone was hot enough to overcome the few shortcomings.

Since the hymen myth is so widespread, and accepted as fact by so many people (although erroneously), and the other errors are tolerably few, I am only deducting 1 star, and giving it 4 stars for the overall eroticism.

loved it from beginning to end, love reading about F/F sex when it's done right like this a slow seduction, not a quick tit sucking and pussy lapping, I love eating pussy sometimes even more than fucking, love making a woman cum