All Comments on 'Denuding Sol'

Re: Denuding SOL

Excellent story. My sister and I have been reading these sex stories, it turned our fantasy into reality. We want to bring into our fun one of her friends. We just not sure how to talk to her friend.

some of their actions and comments are jarring and unbelievable. they distract from the writing.which is good. Very good descriptions. Loved the title..

like when discovered she says "Why don't you strip..." who asks visitors to take their clothes off?

the guy is fixated on her thigh/torso joint and wants to apply sunscreen...Weird.

she replies, "Great idea" sounds like a bad porno movie

If you want an answer leave me an email @.

-2 comments questioned 'thigh-groin' area - for clarity, that is not, nor is it ever called her pussy.

- I restored a line that clarifies that is the pale edge of her tan line and needed more protection (also an excuse to 'innocently' touch the area close to her pussy

- Rach's invite to strip is her awkward way to offset her being caught topless (as she planned)

Umm, probably one who is half naked already and expects to be fully naked soon maybe? It seemed odd that she casually accepts being caught - until we get to the end and learn she planned it. I want friends like her!!!!

You use very much explicit language - interesting

Introduction was too short; detail lacking; too many people involved. Brevity is great, but more detail of foreplay needed. Suggest adding chapter to bring out suspense.

Not that YOU will see this, but in case others share your thoughts:

How much intro is needed for a short story? FOUR people is too many?

I had considered more foreplay too.

Understand, the start is all TRUE until Sue slid open the glass door. From there, I let the characters write the story and I was just the scribe. Adding more detail FOR the people hasn't worked. My muse even stopped my hands from adding a scene in another story, so I quit doing that!