All Comments on 'Derby Ch. 02'

Again, this is a well written piece. I could feel the lack of emotion in Derby's fucking. I could feel the women's need to be wanted by him. But, my feeling still has not changed. I hate him.

Yeah hate for him still thete

...that the two previous commenters express, is exactly what the author intends for us to feel.

My observation is that two shy, vulnerable young girls such as Christy, in Ch. 01, and now Mellissa, are portrayed to be, would not be seduced so quickly -- on their first(!) time together, nor would it happen so readily, with the young, backwards girls practicality taking the lead, at least some of the time. Christy would not be so ready for fellatio, nor Melissa willing to give up her virginity to an almost unknown guy -- and right at the start.

My point is that their actions are out of character for the shy, vulnerable, hesitant individuals they were initially said to be.

However, this unrealistic willingness/forwardness/aggressiveness does make for a hotter sex encounter and, thus, hotter, more intriguing story.

It sure has my attention.

This intriguing plot is carried forward by some stellar storytelling skill and dialog.

Paul in Oklahoma