All Comments on 'Desert Chemistry'

Tucson's desert is the Sonoran. The Chihuahuan is in Mexico near El Paso and points south. Near the end a little proof reading instead of just spell checking will make this perfect. Such as 'angels' instead of 'angles' -- and a few other correctly spelled wrong words. But, overall, a great job. Thanks.

you meant 'desert', not 'dessert', which might also correct a tag for the story which now reads 'dessert'.

Tucson, Phoenix, and the entire southwestern portion of Arizona are indeed all part of the Sonoran desert, and when you imagine southwestern desert, that's pretty much it. Vast expanses of nothing, punctuated by the occasional ridge or mountain chain.

Drive east from Tucson, though, and you go up in elevation to a region that's hillier, a little cooler, and a little less dry. It has a different feel to it, with lighter-colored rocks and soils, less cactus, and more and different vegetation. That's the northwestern part of the Chihuahuan desert, and it covers the southeastern corner of Arizona, including pretty much all of Cochise county, along with southern New Mexico, much of west Texas, and north central Mexico.

Yes, there are a few typos in the story, and I'm sorry. Without a proper copy editor, you can't ever find them all, and usually not even then. At least I didn't mess up the title - Dessert Chemistry would be a completely different story. A lonely caterer falls in love with . . .

The laconic narration by the protagonist left us wanting for a little more drama and affect, but it really seemed to be the true voice of this character. Very interesting protagonist: she realized her roommate was in love with her and essentially inferred that she (the protagonist) must be gay because she could return the love, and later, when she realized that David was in love with her, she again inferred that maybe she wasn't entirely gay, but maybe was bi.

She didn't grow up wearing dresses, she was evidently a self-made science nerd who developed herself post high school. The emotional monotone of the narration seems entirely consistent with a cerebral girl who grew up on the outside looking in, more an observer than a participant.

I loved the chemistry aspect of the story, and found it hard to believe that the author put this level of detail and complexity into inventing and describing a complete and consistent world in a Literotica short story.

If you transition to writing novels, I would suggest working with a partner who could help carve more hills and valleys into the narrative path. It's fine for the narrator to be somewhat detached, but you can still tweak the prose and plot a little to get the readers pulse racing (in the non-erotic parts) every now and then,

Congratulations, excellent work, and thank you for your effort. I had a wonderful journey with your characters today and I feel as if I've just returned from a really interesting trip. Well above a 5 star effort.

Thank you for sharing.

I loved Chemical Moment and the Broken Mirror, this was a nice closure for me. I will likely go back and read them in the correct order, but I feel good now.

So well written, great characters - and for me thought provoking. Many thanks!

so basically a man can turn a woman from being a lesbian ...

guess it was written by a man ..

oh how simple life is when all a woman really needs is a good man ..

waste my time reading it

From the scientific parts to the mundane routines explained in the story, it was an elegant story.

It must be very boring living in a world of immutable absolutes and clearly delineated boundaries. I find the world where improbable and unexpected are not impossible to be much more fun, especially when love and romance are involved.

I found the chemical part absorbing. And neat.

The relationship, I'm not sure.

Of course I know that it is possible for a lesbian to be married. I'm close to being in the same situation. But I think the slippery road that led to that relationship was not-quite-believable.

It seemed to me that the story was written with a veil of sorrow upon it, as if trying to explain how this could have happened.

You are a very good writer, who builds a great history and environment for your story. Character development adds to readers involvement... I'm an older guy so, I am ok with a twist on wonderful love story; however, you have broken a million lesbian hearts. "Sweeties" read more carefully Allison is STILL a Lesbian, who fall in love with a special man... she still has a pussyfide mind. I enjoyed reading it very much and once I got into it I was hooked. I Love it.

A wonderful, surprising story. I've witnessed a couple friends be surprised by who they fell in love with - one previously gay man who is married to a woman and a lesbian who fell in love with a guy. It happens. Thanks for sharing your stories.

Your protagonist does the unthinkable-- she falls in love with individuals, vice labels. Instead of "this is a woman, whom I like", or "this is a man, whom I wish to bed", she says "I like this person, who is a woman", or "I would like to go to bed with this person, who happens to be male". Oh, the horror! It doesn't fit neatly into a particular Literotica story subset!

Of course, the story doesn't fit neatly into a cultural subset either, because Allison's level of bisexuality is rare. It's not that she is toward the center of the heterosexual/homosexual spectrum-- it's more as if she ignores it altogether, and simply loves whomever she loves, with their genitalia being almost superfluous to the equation. I'd say it was a silly writer's silly fantasy, had I not known people who treated their world in just such a manner.

Bravo! Well thought out and constructed story, and worth seven or eight stars-- more if you weren't serving sand for "dessert"!

This is a lovely, sweet, romantic story. You write so well! And it's great that towards the end Allison still feels able to say she's mainly attracted to girls but David is the one she loves. It's an honest summary, not one of those glib "I never realised I was straight till I met the right man" things.

Oh, and to the anonymous commenter below: you may be right about literotica but I'm not sure you're right about this being rare in the real world. I'm bi and have always been more attracted to people rather than their gender. And I know a real-life David and Allison (same names but different field of science) who are exactly like this - he's straight, she was exclusively lesbian till she met him and fell for him.

An excellent, romantic story that handles Allison and her feelings just right. As always, your stories are very enjoyable.

Sadly, I could never feel it. Allison just felt … unreal.

And while I do not consider myself a “political lesbian”, the reality is that being a lesbian *is* political. So the outcome was disappointing. Though it was tagged right as “Romance”, so I was warned.

Sorry, but this was crap. You cannot file something under Lesbian Sex and spent more than half the time with a heater relationship.

Allison bacame SO irrrelavant almost from the first paragraph. A total waste of my time. Punted pn page 6. I said in the previous story I wasn't going to read it and caved. I shouldn't have bothered.

But, all done this time. Move alone. Nothing to see here.

You are a consumate writer, I love your stories.

Just did a reread, opinion unchanged, except this time I give you my thanks as well.

You are getting some harsh criticism, You write stories, people read them. Your writing is exquisite, other peoples opinions are their own and do not seem to be related to the quality of your writing.

Decided, two months later, to try this again.

No change. Well, not quite true. I was even more disappointed than the first reading. There simply was no story here. What little dialog there was was downright trivial. Nothing important happened in dialog, anywhere.

The entire "story" was a story about telling a story. So little of the actual story was "shown" to us. It was like reading the cliff notes of a story. This happened, that happened, blah, blah, blah.

And NOT ONE THOUGHT about her change in sexuality. "Does she not understand, 'I am a lesbian?'" Did she herself not understand that she wasn't and never was a lesbian. And all that trivial "regret" about letting Annie get away, and NEVER lifting a finger (or a phone) to do one blessed thing about it. Did she even HAVE any sexuality? If so, it certainly didn't come through. She was weak in the first story, and weaker still in this one.

Your command of the language is clear. But you're not "living" your story. You're still telling it to us like we were all sitting around in a bar talking. That's not story telling. That talking about story telling.

I never "felt" anything out of any of the characters.

Ah. I see. Excuse me for not looking before. You are male. And in my opinion, not very well versed in what it means to be female or a lesbian. They say, "a good writer writes what s/he knows," for a good reason. That's why it didn't come across and meaningful.

And worst of all, it came across as "females cannot live without males because lesbianism is fake."

And before anyone bashes me as a radical feminist/lesbian: I am a male. So there.

My high school class co-valedictorian Paula "came out" at Oberlin. She ran into a bunch of radical feminists who confused being queer with being a radical feminist. She eventually realized she was bisexual. She has written a number of recognized academic works on female bisexuality and eventually chose to settle down with a woman. I think it entirely plausible that the protagonist of this story is bi but chose to settle down with a man.

Another good story and it fills the story line!

Thank you

Oh so this is Allison's happy ending... I was rooting for her and Anne... Beautiful story nonetheless. The character build-up was well done.

Jeez, look at the transphobia in the comments. Ug.

Anyways, I'm glad everyone eventually gets their happy endings.

This story was wonderfully written. You are not a painter. You are not showing me a complete picture. You are a gardener who is planting seeds in my brain and letting my imagination paint the picture. It works very well for my ADHD riddled brain. I enjoy your style of writing. I sincerely wish you were still active so I could read more. I’ve already read through your collection twice.