by subdued_passion
Anon could be right about the definitions being first -IF they are needed.
But anon is wrong about the rest. The story is subtle, delicate and worth reading.
Excellent work, an intelligent love story. The usual LW crowd won't like it but it is beautifully expressed. It would have rated highly if posted as a 'Romance' but of course it isn't.
...in the area of erotic for my tastes, but then it's tagged as "romance" and "making love." It was a nice change of pace for me, and was well written none the less.
I like the idea that the phrases are included, but it would help better if something was at the beginning, not the end where I already read it. The problem is if you post that list at the beginning, some folks would just bolt instead of reading it, so maybe if you just posted a blurb at the beginning saying "glossary of terms used at end of story." That would keep the preface short yet give a heads up to those who needed it.
I want to thank Ogg for his kind words which made me write this story and post something on Lit after a long time and I want to thank everyone for their feedback. Some of the words were kind enough to encourage me to write another story (not a LW story), so once again thank you and keep the feedback coming.
The story held my attention though I don't care for romance per se. Talent makes all ingredients tasty, and this author has talent., The writing is good though I suggest this author learn the best use of THAT between clauses.
SPONGY COCK HEAD is an excellent term.
I scored it 5 stars. Its better than 4 stars but not flawless, and not far from 5 quality.
I'm sitting here with a stupid smile plastered on my face just from looking at the comments as well as who they're coming from. Thank you for your words of encouragement.
Beautifully written. It was so lovely with romantic eroticism. Wish it was a longer story.
Honestly, this one seems somewhat disjointed, or inchoate, but there are parts I really like.
Five, for the parts I really like.
Excellent story. Love it. Wish I get a wife like Devi. Hats off author.
Liked the story but felt it could be longer, especially something between the wedding and the sex showing how her heart turned toward him. It was really sweet though and I loved the bits with the heartache, and Devi's uninhibited nature as well.