Diary of a Prison Officer Ch. 01

"Ah, Mr Telby, it's good to see you" said the man in the middle. "Let me introduce myself and my colleagues. I am Liam Havers, the prison governor and the gentleman to my right is my twin brother Max, and to my left, my youngest brother Adrian."

My surprise must have been evident on my face because all three burst out laughing and Liam started to speak again.

"An unusual situation I know, but it is all above board I can assure you. My brothers and I have been involved with the prison services all our lives and when the opportunity arose to reform this failing prison it was one we couldn't resist. We have mortgaged ourselves up to the hilt to purchase this prison from the Government, it is the first venture of its kind and they are monitoring our progress closely. We will receive generous funding if we can restore law and order within these walls, reduce the rate of reoffending when the prisoners are released and eliminate the physical abuse between the prisoners. How this is achieved is our business. Unfortunately many of the existing prison staff are as corrupt as the prisoners and will be replaced as quickly as possible. We are adopting a fast track employment system so providing you pass this interview, the medical and the physical fitness tests today we will be looking to start your training and employment with us on Monday 1st March 2010. There are twenty prison officer positions to be filled and thirty applicants we will be interviewing today and throughout this week, so I don't need to point out that competition is fierce and the slightest mistake on your part will affect your prospects."

I gulped silently to myself, I didn't realise how sought after this job was, mind you the wages and benefits were generous so I shouldn't have been that surprised especially with the recent downturn in the economy etc. Doing my best to retain a confident manner I agreed that the position must be very attractive to a lot of people who want to do this type of job.

"Indeed." Liam replied. "We are however looking for a certain type of person with the right experience, capabilities as well as attitude. This we saw in your application a great deal, however when it came to the first of the practical tests this morning we were a little disappointed in how you responded. We are looking for a 100% pass rate at this stage yet you only managed to score 85%. Would you like to know where you lost those percentage points and if you wish to, how they can be regained so that you pass that test?"

With genuine confusion in my voice I said "I am really sorry to hear that, I thought I had followed the instructions closely and did everything required of me. Yes I would very much like to know where I went wrong so that I can correct this situation as I want this job and don't want any avoidable issues to stand in the way."

"Excellent response! You're correct in that you followed the instructions, yet we felt there was some reluctance on your part. This was demonstrated by the way you turned your back to the camera when undressing; you hesitated before pulling down your underpants and rushed to put your shorts on. We must have confidence when giving you instructions that you will follow them to the letter and you will not question them. Unfortunately with the type of prisoners we have in here, the slightest chink in our armour will enable them to break through and risk the success of our endeavour. I am going to ask you to remove your shorts, fold them neatly, hand them to me and then sit back down in your seat. Please do so now."

Knowing what was at stake, I didn't hesitate for a second. I stood straight up, pulled my shorts down, stepped out of them before folding them neatly and placing them in Liam's outstretched hands. I then sat back down in my seat, trying to act as normal as possible in the circumstances and ignoring the fact that my cock was now semi-hard and I was the only naked person in the room!

It was very surreal, the rest of the interview carried on as if there hadn't been an interruption, the questions were what I expected and I had little difficulty answering them. Then there was a knock on the door and a young Asian man walked in, from his uniform he was obviously an inmate, pushing a tea trolley. As he walked past me he did a double take at the sight of my naked body, but said nothing, merely bowing slightly as he left the room. I had little time to react, probably just as well considering how quickly I had dropped points in my first test. Just as the conversation was drawing to a close and I had finished my cup of coffee, Liam pushed a hidden button and a couple of minutes later there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" was all the Liam said.

In walked two men, one in a white coat, the other dressed as a physiotherapist. I guessed my next two tests were about to begin. The guy in the white coat was introduced as Richard (the prison doctor) and James (sports coach). Liam smiled warmly at me, informing me that I had not only had I passed the interview but I had also regained the lost points from the first test. He then went on to say that I would first have a medical assessment with Richard, followed by the fitness test with James then a final short after exercise check-up again with Richard. If all tests were successfully passed then I would be invited back into the office for the return of my clothing and signing of the contract. Standing up I walked over to the table and shook all three interviewer's hands before turning to follow Richard and James out of the room.

"Mr Telby, have you forgotten something?" Liam called after me with a chuckle.

I turned round at the sound of his voice looking in his direction I saw him pointing to my shorts still folded neatly on the table in front of him.

"No Sir, I didn't forget about them. I simply assumed that you would tell me when I could have them back and didn't give them another thought. Is it okay to put them back on again?"

"Mr Telby, you are growing in my estimation and I think you will be a valuable asset to the team. With that 'can do' attitude you will go far. Yes you may don your shorts again."

Slightly embarrassed to have five pairs of eyes focused on me I was more than happy to pull my shorts up, and thanking them once again followed Richard to the medical centre. As I followed him up the stairs I guessed he must be in his late 60's or early 70's, presumably this job was to top up his pension. Richard made small talk as we entered his office/consulting room.

As I sat in the chair opposite him I felt more at home having had more medical check-ups than I care to remember while in the army and had a pretty good idea on what would follow. Sure enough Richard pulled out a three page document from his drawer and started filling in the standard information i.e. name, address, family medical history & personal medical history. Then he took my blood pressure, general stats, weight, lung capacity and temperature. Still sitting in his chair but leaning forward he asked me to stand in front of him and to remove my shorts. I followed his request and naked once again I calmly watched him gently roll my balls feeling for any unexpected lumps before turning his attention to my cock. He pulled the foreskin back and examined it closely for any abnormalities, so close in fact that I could feel his breath on my sensitive head. It pulsed and expanded in response until it was fully erect at just over eight inches long. Richard seemed very pleased with this result and commented on its healthy appearance and functionality. Not knowing quite how to respond I simply said that I had no complaints with it, he laughed and said he didn't think I would or anyone else would for that matter! He turned in his chair; opening a drawer he retrieved a pair of latex gloves and a tube of KY. Uh oh, I know what they're for I thought to myself.

"Please turn round, bend over at the waist and pull your cheeks apart." Richard said in a neutral voice.

As I pulled my cheeks apart I heard the snapping of the gloves being put on and then felt the cold gel being applied to my anus. His finger felt large to me and my ring tightened in response as it smeared the gel around my ring.

"Relax please otherwise you will experience some discomfort."

I did my best to relax, taking deep breaths as I felt pressure being applied. Eventually the finger pushed in up to the first knuckle.

"Mr Telby, you really must learn to relax. From your tightness I can tell you are not used to having objects inserted up your anus, I am not going to hurt you, now please try harder."

"Yes Sir, you are quite correct I am not used to having things up my arse! My wife used to try to push a finger up me but I didn't like it. I am trying to relax honestly but this position is uncomfortable for me."

"Mmm, let me think." Richard said deep in thought gently pulling his knuckle out. "Okay, hop up onto the couch, lie on your back and pull your knees up to your chest."

Open to any suggestions to move this situation on, I did as I was bid. To be honest it was a new position to me but somewhat reminiscent of the missionary position! I said as much to Richard who smiled in response but said nothing, instead he picked up the tube of KY and stepped up to my exposed anus and slowly squirted a liberal amount onto my hole. It momentarily clenched at the cold jolt but slowly opened again as the gel warmed up. Richard looked down at me and started to ask me about my life in the army and seemed genuinely interested in the answers I gave. I give him credit for his distraction method worked a treat, I barely registered his finger's entry into me until I felt his knuckles brush my crack and his finger tip was pushing against my prostate sending throbbing pulses into my cock. I looked up at Richard and grinned saying

"Well doctor you seemed to have reached the spot!"

"Indeed I have, well done. You have a perfectly healthy prostate and rectum. I often find this position is successful for those tighter than average rings, and yours has got to be about the tightest I have come across for many a year."

"Really, I am surprised." I replied quite genuinely. "I would have thought most of the men in this prison would be in the same position as me."

"Oh you'd be surprised."

With that he withdrew his finger, wiped it clean on a tissue and announced that the medical was over until the post fitness test. As I pulled on my shorts again I saw the figure of James standing in the doorway casually watching me or rather my crutch as it bobbed around behind the fabric as I stood up again. Richard told James that he would join us in the gymnasium shortly to carry out the tests. James nodded an acknowledgement.

"Are you ready Mr. Telby?" James asked. "If so, we'll start your fitness assessment in the gymnasium downstairs, please follow me."

Not waiting for a reply he marched briskly along the corridor, down the stairs and back along the main corridor, almost to the main entrance then through a side door into what had to be the best equipped gymnasium I had seen in a long time, it even had three frosted glass shower cubicles at the far end. For the next hour I used every piece of equipment with James watching intently and writing endless notes on my progress. By the time I had completed the last test I was hot and exhausted, sweat was pouring down my face and pleased to be taking a breather.

I heard the door open behind me, looking round I saw Richard walk in carrying a small bag and clipboard. Walking over to me he placed his bag down on the floor and took out a small thermometer and a stethoscope.

"Mr. Telby would you please lower your shorts down to your knees and bend over at the waist, as you did in my office and spread your cheeks please. I am about to take your temperature."

Doing as I was instructed I avoided looking at James for I could feel his eyes on my body and did my best to not react when I felt the rectal thermometer push up inside me.

"Okay, if you would stand up again, clench your cheeks to hold the thermometer in please and I will measure your heartbeat now."

I felt the cold metal stethoscope explore my chest and back all the time hearing approving grunts and the scratch of pen on paper. Then the gentle pressure of a hand pushing me over, as I bent over I felt the thermometer being pulled out.

"Well Mr Telby I am pleased to be able to confirm that for a man of your age you are perfectly fit and healthy and I will have great pleasure in recommending your employment here. Please pull up your shorts and we will return to the Governor's office."

As I did so, James came over and shook my hand congratulating me on passing the fitness and medical tests and expressed how much he was looking forward to working with me in the future. I smiled politely and thought I bet you do!

I followed Richard back to the office in silence, thinking how much I would like to have used the shower facilities had I been given the chance as I no longer smelt as fresh as I did before I entered the gymnasium. Shrugging my shoulders, it was pointless worrying about it, I had already passed the interview and tests and it was now just a matter of signing on the dotted line and getting my clothes and possessions back. Richard opened the door for me and ushered me inside, waiting for me were my three interviewers, this time though they were standing casually chatting by the coffee table at the far end of the room near the main window. On the coffee table sat the box containing my clothes and personal possessions. They turned as one on my entrance and walked over, each one shaking my hand and congratulating me on successfully passing all tests put to me. Liam led me to the desk upon which lay my new contract and indicated that I should sit down and read it carefully before signing it, in the meantime I gratefully accepted the cup of coffee Max held out towards me. Half an hour later I had signed the contract, arranged to start my training on the 1st March and finally wearing my suit again. I'm not sure if it was my imagination but I am sure that Adrian did his best to slow me down and divert my attention as I was dressing as if to prolong the exposure of my flesh to their gazes. Oh well, no business of mine, it didn't bother me in the slightest.

11.30am

Back in my car now, trying to stop myself from grinning like a Cheshire cat, I reviewed the last three hours. What a strange experience it had been but if I am being honest with myself I had found it slightly erotic. I had the distinct feeling that my experiences were only just beginning with that place. Hey ho! That's as may be but reality was soon kicking in, my stomach was growling I needed something to eat and fast!

12.00 Noon – 7.00pm

Quick visit to Burger King for a Whopper Meal and then it was time to continue with my clothes shopping, I would need more than one shirt, tie, trousers and jacket in my wardrobe. I finally got home just before 7.00pm, if I bumped into one more shopper I would scream!

Well diary that was my day, slightly unusual I think you will agree...... I can't wait for the 1st March to arrive.

FRIDAY 12TH FEBRUARY 2010

Met up with Tom and Mike for our weekly drink in the Kings Head, they found it hilarious listening to my interview ordeals. Naturally I left out the bit about finding it a little bit erotic; I simply don't think they would have understood. As far as they were concerned a man's arse was a one way street and only a woman should take pleasure in the sight of a man's body. Having said that, I too was of that frame of mind for many years, all through my army service and my marriage I maintained the insecure all-macho stance of a he-man. However since I left all the mind-numbing crap behind me I have become more relaxed in myself, don't get me wrong I'm not gay or anything like that, never had sex with a man or wanted to. I'm just happy to be me with nothing to prove. Sorry diary for getting all heavy with you, but who else is going to listen to me? Ah well, the lads are good for me. They stop me from moping and keep my feet on the ground; in return I make them laugh with my antics and out of the norm way of thinking.

FRIDAY 26TH FEBRUARY 2010

Dear diary, sorry I haven't written anything for the last two weeks. I have picked you up every evening only to put you back down again simply because nothing out of the ordinary has happened. I feel very much in limbo; everything is ready for my new job on Monday but before then is the stag do I am going on tomorrow evening. At the time it seemed like a good idea but now it's almost here I am reluctant to go, it's easier to be a couch potato – which is precisely why I am going to go, I refuse to let laziness win over being sociable. Apart from anything it would be letting my mates down, which for me is a big no no.

SUNDAY 28th FEBRUARY 2010

Oh boy, what a night we had last night! There was absolutely no way I was in a fit state to write an entry when I got home late last night/early this morning, I was totally wrecked. I woke up this morning with a thumping headache! As I sipped my coffee this morning with the curtains firmly drawn I tried to remember the events of the previous evening. I am ashamed to say this is what I remember of it.

7.30pm

Met up with Mike and Tom at Mike's house before catching a taxi over to the restaurant.

8.00pm

Inside the restaurant it was chaotic with the waiters struggling to cope with the demands of a thirty strong group. Us oldies were given pride of place next to Aaron on the big table on the condition that at the nightclub we would take a back seat to let the youngsters do their thing. Oldies indeed! But watching Aaron and his friends it really did make me feel nostalgic for the days when I was his age. Ah well, can't turn the clock back, just got to get on with life while you still have it!

10.00pm

Our group has consumed vast quantities of food and Indian beer (some of us are already a little merry); it's time to waddle over to the Sundown Nightclub where the other twenty stag guests are waiting for us. The manager greets Mike, explains the house rules, he then leads us up to the top floor and through controlled access double doors. Inside is a large dance floor, a dedicated bar and at the other end of the room a large stage with boxes of props adjacent to it. Two barmaids and a barman stand behind the bar waiting to serve us with a ready smile. The next hour is spent getting everyone served with drinks and getting the party started.

11.00pm

With a great fanfare the female double act make their entrance and receive a great number of appreciative wolf whistles in response. They were in their late twenties/early thirties and dressed in tight fitting leather cat suits with buttons running from the neckline down to the crutch, very attractive and immaculately manicured. They introduced themselves as Zara and Ingrid and were from Russia, which drew further wolf whistles! The youngsters surged towards the stage area leaving Mike, Tom and I behind at the bar making ourselves comfortable on the bar stools.

To my surprise the girls were brilliant at winding up the lads to fever pitch with a mixture of songs, jokes and smutty innuendos. For over an hour the energy levels in the room rose and fell as directed by the girls, all the time the drinks were flowing and the lads were slowly getting drunk.

Mid-Night

The girls announced that it was now time for a little competition; they wanted four volunteers with the winner getting a £50 voucher off their next visit to the nightclub. There was no shortage of volunteers after the prize was announced with at least twenty guys energetically waving their hands in the air trying to be picked. Naturally as the stag groom, Aaron was picked along with three other handsome young men. From the back of the room Mike called out encouraging words of advice to his son. We clapped enthusiastically as the four men climbed up on stage and now stood a little nervously in a line aware that everyone in the room was watching them.