All Comments on 'Diary of a Rockstar Ch. 02'

Glad to see the sequel upped. I'd been checking a couple times a week for updates, as I enjoyed Chapter One. That being said, it seemed like this submission was still rushed. There were some hiccups in pronoun usage as well as a very awkward jump to Bobby's girl-girl fantasy in the middle of the shower with Paige. It was almost as if some lines were missed entirely. I think a self-proof would suffice in tagging most the errors.

As a group sex story, or as a continuation of the first chapter, the whole story felt shoe-horned. The continual description of Paige as a rockstar, along with Paige's self-proclaimed rockstar status got a little irksome and just makes her sound egotistical. It contributed to an overall feel of someone telling a story about them self in the 3rd person, which begs the question: Why doesn't Paige just narrate the story in 1st person?

That narrative might work if dutily loving boyfriend, Bobby, weren't the fighting for the lead role in this story. There was a little play of RiversEdge ubiquitous facial-fetish theme in part one of this story, but as his sequels progress the facial element is typically heightened, and every female introduced is conveniently Über enthusiastic about receiving facials, too. This is RE's thing, so I've come to expect it.

I'm finding Bobby less likable in this chapter, coercing his girlfriend into filling his girl-girl fantasy as an I-owe-you for her hookup with Ken. Especially bothersome was the line: "I can't wait to watch you turn into a lesbian for me." Rhetoric aside, turning a woman into a lesbian isn't as simple as having her chug a magic potion; it's about sexual orientation, curiosity, and the setup of this lesbian experience seems too contrived for me to get into it.

Hoping for better with the next installment.

don't care much about the lesbian stuff, but I really like how you describe the facials; hope that there is more to come (bukkake?), also please write another MILF story, these were super hot

Please keep up the great work! You're my favorite writer on Literotica right now! I can't wait for part 3!

Pornos have more believable lesbian encounters than this story. Paige should stick with dudes.