by blondechristine2012
Continuity, grammar and too many John appearing in random places made me give up half way through the first page.
e.g. "Poor her, shouldn't John be with her, after all John are her husband?"
"Yes of course I should, but to be truthful I would rather be with John."
"Now, now John."
The idea is good but you need to proof read , preferably by someone else, before publishing .
Replacing 'you' with 'John" was to distracting, did not notice the flow and grammar mistakes, made it to the beach, then gave up. To difficult to read
I couldn't get past the dinner invitation. Please proofread or get an editor.
For the terrible mistakes in Did His Wife Know?
I wrote it as an I and you story and then changed it using the replace feature. I was slightly drunk when I was editing it and submitted it by mistake and too soon.
I am so, so sorry about the mess that ended up on Lit. I will edit it again and submit it under a slightly different name, please read that. Also to all who have read and been disappointed with 'Wife' please read my other stories.
Again my apologies
Christina x
I could not even finish the first page. Who constantly say one's name in a conversation ? Keep saying John this John that. Not only wrong and annoying but confusing. At first I thought it was another guy and thinking who the hell is John.
John, then another John, Chrissie, Monica ?? Only Brenda stayed Brenda. Total fuckup with English and/or word processor. Get an editor and pay him by letting him fuck you up the ass - if you're female. If you're male, get a gay editor and let him fuck you. In either case, you need a severe spanking as well. Bye!
Sorry, I really tried reading this story because it seemed to have an interesting premisis, however, all that business with John and the different names was to confusing, I was spending more time trying to figure out who was who before giving up, too much work. And it seemed that half the time John, one or all of them, was not a native English speaker. So please do get an editor.
Those two words are mixed up in much of the dialogue- probably a replace word error... apart from that - I liked the story
Cheeky and lovely at the same time. It's not as easy as some people thing, getting it on during a flight. But kudos to those who accomplish it and have fun doing so.