All Comments on 'Did You Like That?'

by JamesRiver

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  • 6 Comments
CharrlaCharrlaover 6 years ago

So, I actually thought it was pretty well written, except for this:

" I had only begun to flutter my tongue across that fat clit before four or five little squirts of cum splashed across my chin. She was primed for a massive orgasm and I was going to give it to her with my mouth."

Young dude (I'm guessing), women don't pre-cum like men do. Very few women actually squirt (and it's a curse for those who do, because it's messy as fuck), and if they're squirting, any amount at all, that's it. That's the orgasm. They're done. They're not "primed for a massive orgasm". That's ridiculous.

And this:

"A mist of pussy juice sprayed between our bodies every time our pubis slapped together." To which I'll only say: the fuck? A) that doesn't happen, B) that makes no sense and is not in any way erotic.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
did you like that?

Thinking about Charla's comments is valid. There is, however, nothing wrong with a messy fuck. Just do it right. Literary license be damned. No women don't mist. That's silly. Being primed for a massive orgasm suggests it can't get better as the night goes on. I'd disagree with that. But I'm not here to debate another reviewer's comments. Most are valid.

I can't believe the boy took the Mom to his GF's bed. That works in your own home, but not at hers. It should be her mom's bed.

BTW, you know daughter's not coming back to NJ. No need to and she hates it anyway. Where to Mother and lover go from here?

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Lighten up - it’s fantasy

I like the thought of a wet, hot, wet, slippery, wet, tight, wet, spasming, wet, out of control, wet cunt encasing my pounding cock. What a gift from God! I suspect I’m not the only person thinking this. Lighten up and provide a bit of leeway for fantasyland not over encumbered by clinical fact.

tidalwavestidalwavesover 6 years ago
Nice, but...

Way too overzealous in the male character’s description. Short & enjoyable read for the most part, but that really took me out of it.

RodThrustinRodThrustinalmost 6 years ago
Too much of a lot.

There were some lapses in the writing--almost incoherent there a time or two during the passion. Not sure exactly why, but much of the "messy" parts of the fuck just did not seem believable. That mom wanted boyfriend's big dick was okay, but the out-of-control neediness seemed a bit much.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
Awesome just absolutely the most unreadable and sweet story I have ever read

This was just a breathtaking and heartwarming story plus the sex was really well detailed keep up the astonishing work and hope you make stories as spectacular as this one.

Anonymous
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