Disco Nights Ch. 02

Desperately she grabbed my arm and said, "Wait Alan, don't walk away. I need to tell you something." I stopped and just looked at her.

Taking a deep breath, she said, "I wanted you to know I am starting therapy next week. There is a Psychiatrist I know at the hospital that has agreed to see me. It will be once a week on my lunch hour. I screwed up and I don't know why. I know there must be something wrong with me and I need to find out what." She finally looked me in the face with tears in her eyes, "I… I just wanted you to know."

I was at a loss for words, finally I said, "Okay, Lisa, that's probably a good thing. I wish you luck with it." And I turned and went down to the basement. I didn't think therapy was going to change anything for us. What she had done was so flagrant, so painful I didn't think I would ever get over it.

Most nights I would toss and turn in bed agonizing over the vision of her spreading her legs for another man, hearing her in my mind gasping and moaning in pleasure, or seeing her giving John a blow job in our living room. Finally after a couple of hours I would fall asleep in exhaustion.

School finally let out for the holiday break and we had started the run up to Christmas. It was hard to get into the Christmas spirit but we finally let Maddy convince us to put up the Christmas tree and all the decorations. Lisa and I agreed to give each other one gift so Maddy would not be suspicious. We would also honor our tradition of filling up our Christmas stockings with candy and small personal items. Maddy was always so thrilled to have the three of us dump out our stockings on Christmas morning so she could see what everyone got.

We limited our social events to only family gatherings. Some of our friends kept calling, asking why we weren't coming to the holiday parties. John's wife, Karen, called Lisa and was insistent about knowing why we couldn't make their party. We made a variety of excuses and tried to minimize any discussion about it.

I think Lisa had confided in her sister as there were some awkward moments with her family. My mother had noticed that something was wrong with Lisa and that she seemed to be losing weight and asked me about it. I just shrugged and said she had been fighting a bug lately. I don't think she bought it but didn't say anything else.

We finally got through Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Maddy had a great Christmas and we spoiled her as we usually did. I tried to treasure every moment with her and a couple time she would ask me why I was looking at her funny. Once she said that in front of both of us and Lisa could see the tears in my eyes. She turned away with a sob and left the room.

A couple of days after Christmas the attorney called to say the divorce petition was ready. I told him to go ahead and file. It would probably be listed in the paper the following week and become public knowledge. I decided to stop and pick up the copy for Lisa and give it to her myself. I had toyed with the idea of having her served publicly to maximize the hurt but finally decided that there was enough pain going around already.

That same day Lisa came home from work and was visibly upset and had been crying. I tried to separate myself from her emotional well being ever since I confronted her. She said she had to tell me something after Maddy went to bed. Lisa was barely holding it together through dinner. When Maddy finally went to bed she sat down across from me, "Dan Burris called me today. I haven't spoken to him since, since that night. He called me to tell me his wife filed for divorce."

I just looked at her and didn't say anything. "He said she had pictures of the two of us together and that she got them from you? Is that true?"

I said, "Yes."

She started crying, "I asked him why the divorce if they had an open marriage? He said that wasn't exactly true." She looked up at me with tears running down her face, "He lied to me, Alan! He lied to me!"

I just shook my head, "Lisa, he is a player and he played you. He told you everything you wanted to hear." And I turned and went down the stairs.

After that Lisa got more haggard and tired. She seemed to be nauseous a lot and didn't have much of an appetite. I knew the stress was getting to her, like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I wondered if she was getting an ulcer. But she did manage to drag herself into work everyday.

I had been going through the classifieds trying to find a place close by that I could afford. I knew that I would have to continue to subsidize the rent on the duplex for awhile as the costs were beyond Lisa's means on her own income. I had finally concluded I was going to have to have another full-time job if I was going to have my own place. It would be tough taking three classes and working full-time but I would only have to do it for winter term.

I made the trip down to the employment office of the auto assembly plant to see what they might have. I had worked for them a couple of times the last few years and had some contacts with some of the staff. They had a few non-union ninety day temp jobs available working second shift if I was interested. It would pay about twice what unemployment paid so it would be enough for what I needed. I signed up and would start the week after New Years.

The holiday weekend was starting the next day. I had no desire to celebrate the New Year but I didn't want to stay around Lisa either. Being in the same house with her day after day was killing me. I know I still loved her and hated her at the same time. I asked her if she had any plans and she said no. I told her I needed to get away for awhile. I would go up to Mom and Dad's cabin for the weekend. It would be cold but maybe I could do some cross country skiing. It would give me an opportunity to clear my head. I wanted to get my thoughts together before I gave her the divorce papers.

I got back on Sunday afternoon. The time away had helped and I was feeling a little more relaxed. Lisa was in the living room watching television when I walked in. As usual she didn't say anything to me. Finally I asked where Maddy was. She said she took her to her Mom's for the day. I thought to myself this would probably be the best opportunity to do what had to be done.

I went and got my briefcase and sat down next to her on the couch. I took out the manila envelope. I said, "Lisa, we might as well do this now. These are the divorce papers. You should get a lawyer and have him review them. I did not file on grounds of adultery but on grounds of irreconcilable differences."

As Lisa reached out to take the envelope her hands shook and she started crying. She put her head down in her lap and sobbed huge gut wrenching sobs. Listening to her made me tear up but I held myself in and waited for her to get a hold of herself.

Finally she blew her nose a couple of times and wiped her eyes. She sat up and looked at me miserably. She said, "Alan, I think I'm pregnant."