All Comments on 'Do Not Pass Go 04 - Traci's story'

Some of your dialog is seriously awesome. Always makes me laugh.

Keep it up while I go and get my lighter! Muuuahhhhhhh!

I love it. Great imagination and very entertaining

This is a hoot to read! Hope it is also good for you, FTDS!

5*

I hoped FTDS would finish it. Good idea to do it from Traci's POV, a hint of this was already in the orinal story. I appreciate that there is not so much violence in this as in some of your other pieces. Brain is better than muscles & weapons, psycho-warfare better than physical torture.

Please, FTDS, finish this within a shorter timespan than the original author did the first 3 parts. 5*

This is great! Had me chuckling the whole time I was reading. Please finish it!

I loved your chapter, and look forward to see how you end the saga. But I would appreciate it if you could add links to the stories you improve so that I can jump back and forth to appreciate your expansions. Thanks for your work.

Finish the Damn story!

Superlative story there. FTDS, these kids are so evil they make the Addams Family look well adjusted and the epitome of a typically normal, upper class family.

Ha-Ha-Ha

He clearly said this was only the FIRST of a four chapter conclusion, that he has already completed. Anyone who follows him knows that he posts promptly his completed work. I suspect that we will have one a day for the next few days, unless Lit somehow screws it up for us (hey...it HAS been known to happen).

I also can see that this is going to turn into a great story conclusion. It is too early to know for sure, but this may just be some of his finest work! So often the kids in these stories are props...not characters. Even when they ARE more developed, (like with HDK and some of the better authors), they STILL usually remain supporting cast rather than main character. I really appreciate this bold move by FTDS to turn this around to the kids POV. I actually hope that this is the way the story continues. I DID read the original chapters first, and YES, I feel like they were required on this one. But if not totally seemless, FTDS does actually provide a pretty smooth transistion from the first author's setup. I really like that FTDS has polished up his satirical humor skills. That has been lacking in alot of his stories of late.

Good job on this intro to what looks like it will be a real winner of a continuation!

Thanks!

Creative Critters 😇

Vulcez "How Are You?" If somebody has not read that pearl story.

No way. Have a one star for the title.

Oh that was wonderful!, I haven't had such a good laugh for a long time, loved it. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Um, FTDS always has the address in his intro, simply highlight it, right click on it, and click on "Go to ...".

their young minds can dream up atrocities from the video games. TK U MLJ LV NV PPS/ are you doing the same thing as the author and leaving the CODA unclosed..mlj

What FTDS does is like picking up a piece of refuse that you see while taking a walk, to be deposited in the nearest receptacle. The right thing to do, regardless if the refuse was left intentionally or accidentally. Loving Wives if littered with unfinished stories, and to my knowledge FTDS is the master janitor. Probably a more edifying analogy is to portray FTDS as a backup surgeon, who comes on the scene after some hack job, to finish resolving the issue and closing up the loose ends. Yeah, he's doctor Fix The Damn Story.

This story sets a new type of BTB scenario, where the burning is performed by the children, who must step in for their too nice (wimp?) Dad. Kind of makes you understand the wife going out to find some real cock. Not justifying; just saying. The possibilities of how the children sabotage the bitch and her lover are endless, so I can't wait to see which options FTDS chooses for this one. But I also hope there will be other children in future stories who also say, fuck this shit, and either orchestrate the reconciliation where that is reasonable, or who deliver the torch to the bitch (or bastard) who is fucking over their victimized parent. Power to the kids, who suffer the most anyway. Right on!

So far, it's a good tale. Unfortunately, our court system awards custody of any children to Wifey in 90% - 95% of all divorces, whether she cheated or not. Those kids also tend to act out in rebellion, if they would rather live with the other parent.

While the writing is great and humorous, this is an all-too common problem in Divorce court. One parent using the kids as leverage against the other parent.

My Wife works as a Children's Advocacy attorney, and she makes recommendations to the Judge based on what the kids tell her.

In the absence of a C.A. in this tale or a Hubby with any balls, the kids are taking matters into their own hands.

5 Solid Stars. Looking forward to the next chapter.

So funny! 5*

Like a big league home run hitter. Sometimes you strike out. Sometimes you only single or double. But sometimes you smash one out of the park.

Don't know if you're going to hit one out of the stadium with this, but it shaping up to be a very interesting at bat. I'll say this is a long over the wall foul ball.

You said you've got four chapters, let's see what the other three are like.

I had problems getting this one past the gatekeepers. The idea that there are children involved at all seemed to cause problems with the 'under 18' rules.

Because of that, I had to pull other chapters out of the queue, while this one was finally accepted after I added the notes about what actually happened and that there was nothing even close to under-age sex in this story.

Because of that, the follow-up chapters will be delayed a couple of days, while they go through the submission process. They are complete, and are being submitted now. But there will be a short wait. There are four chapters in total.

Thanks for your patience, and the generous comments. This was a fun one to write, even if it seemingly took me forever. It's been on my list from the very beginning.

You captured the evil genius of a pissed off bunch of teens perfectly. Any guy who thinks back to high school will recall teenage females were experts at this kind of warfare!

It's going the right way...Let's wait for the other parts...

The snarkiness (and inventiveness) of the teens matches my experience -- 7 years of working with non-violent youth at risk. Please keep it coming

You had me rolling on the floor. I was really pissed when it ended here. However, your post about the continuation makes it all better.

Thank you for writing this. It made my day.

1* This should NEVER have passed! Used to like your writing FTDS but you're willing to have a 13 year old talking about sex and breaking in to a bedroom to see her mother having sex? and a 15 year old all over a dirty old man?! FFS!

Breezy, witty writing. Just this side of slap-stick. Think Home Alone with sexual content. Keep going, please.

... this t-shirt was one of Dad's old ones, hanging off a shoulder, and the v-neck almost exposing her left tit. It was old, well worn, and threadbare.

The tit or the shirt was "old, well worn, and threadbare."

Just asking

and stirring up trouble.

If you are using the name " finishthedamnstory" then you should finish the damn story.

You obviously had the same problem as the original author, you couldn't work out how to wind it up. The clue is deciding on what ending you are looking for and then writing the words in such a way that they end up finishing at the end of the story. Now are you planning to kill the momster or get her back together with hubby?

By far one of your best. Looking forward to the rest. Too bad about the possible delays. Will be well worth the wait. The way the set up is going dear sweet "Momster" will probably end up in jail. Just laughing my ass off about not pissing off three very intelligent, determined kids.

Keep it up. Love it. 5 stars.

The reality is, unless he turns out to be one of Literotica's vast population of retired Navy SEALS, Special Forces snipers or secret agents, the deck is so heavily stacked against him that there really isn't a damned thing that he can do.

The kids, on the other hand, have all the power here. Depending on how their scheme works out, the can harass or frighten their mother into giving their dad custody, drive her into an insane asylum, or provide their father with the support he needs to argue in court that mom is an unfit mother. Even if they are exposed, what they are doing proves that their mother's cheating and lying has totally poisoned her relationship with them.

and with it you stirred up the hornets nest. I look forward to seeing how these kids are able to be the resolution to this abandoned family drama.

This part should be made into a sitcom. Well done. 5*

....with that bruise she got from skinny-butt-stinky-man. All she had to do was call CPS crying about the sexual predator, abusive boyfriend and mom's total negligence, and it would have been over for monster faster than you can say, "Cheater!".

Unfortunately, you're going so far with this, your making it improbable, and to the point of ridiculous.

I'm buying the kids are smart.

I'm not buying that they don't work out a forced bankruptcy for the momster and CPS action against her and boy-toy within three days of momster bringing home the dick.

I like the way this is going. Middle sister directing traffic, the others doing a excellent job making the mom, and I use that term loosely, hate them. A little more deception, then time to call pop. I can't wait for that cunt whore ex-wife to get hers. Keep it up! Five Stars

Honestly didn't feel like you finished this either.

I have read the original a couple times and always felt the hubby was a wimp but saw room for recovery and then it dead ended.

It's pretty funny to see the kids waging war against the Monster. I understand the child issue, especially with Jenna acting as a tramp. Also the general loose language about sex from the children is on the edge. So far OK but it's a balancing act between an effective story and child porn.

Good luck with working it out.

Like the premise, but the girls seem a bit to young to pull this off...maybe a HS senior as the ring leader...vs 13 year old ?

Absolutely hilarious, even though there is a really sad undercurrent. These kids could be seeing up mommy dearest for something really bad... FTDS - great work!

I know he'll continue this. If I know FTDS.

God, didn't even bother to read this crap. Why do authors like this keep posting their boring, non-erotic crap in this section? Can't they tell that by far the majority of authors are writing other types of stories and take the hint? Everything this author writes is just the fucking same, and it's just so fucking stupid. 1-star, wish I could give it less.

The kids suffer as much if not more than the fucked up parents in a divorce. I have always wanted to see a literal BTB scenario where the cheating whore and her mother fucker are asleep in bed after a night of drinking and sex. The offended party walks in, sets the scene with a bottle of high octane vodka and then proceeds to spill a bunch of it on the bed. Followed by tossing a lit joint on the bed and quickly vacating the den of iniquity! I am just sayin'...Tommy might like the idea!

What the fuck is this pedophile bullshit being let on for? Sick fuckers are all probably super excited reading about a fifteen and thirteen year old giving blow jobs and running around half naked. Is this what the btb crowd really wants?

some of your best work! absolutely hilarious! more please! burn the bitch!

LOL who knew! Funnier than hell. Good job on continuing this one.

4*

Today's 13 year olds know more about sex than their parents did at their ages. Some of them probably know more about it than their parents do now. And what they don't know about, they can find on the internet.

Traci and Jenna aren't giving anyone blow jobs, at least not so far. Just like Tommy is not really a depressive goth pyromaniac. They just want their mother to think they are. They probably got the idea for their gaslight plan off of some sitcom.

May your life healthy and prosper. Keep your fantastic stories come...

you HAVE to know that you not only read the previous stories wrong but you're portraying their father wrong.

The previous stories read SERIOUSLY realistic. A man basically caught unaware by a wife who not only was cheating on him but who was much better at playing the system that is already normally stacked against the father. .

When all he had was the truth (without proof) he was doomed to failure when he was up against a woman who had no problem lying and cheating and generally completely screwing him over.

And then after losing he was forced to REALISTICALLY play the game which is now even worse in her favor. Where she can basically use ANY excuse to screw with him and his very limited supervised time. He'd have better off if he'd been convicted of a crime - at least with that there'd have only been so many years of punishment he'd have had to serve.

And the fact that he recognized that he had to walk on eggshells through a mine field while not only blindfolded but required to respond reasonably respectfully to the person taking potshots at him...that does NOT make him a wuss or a wimp - he wasn't after respect or points for his pride, he was after his kids who were as good as Stockholmed hostages.

In the world you want your stories to reflect, he'd have flown down and taken a baseball bat to his ex with threats of a more serious beating if she didn't give into him and act decently all while having no fear of ANY form of retaliation or fall out. Nice in theory, poor in real life.

I liked how the first stories had that realism to them. Your slant, while an interesting story, lacks that.

I normally skip your stuff these days since it's all been the same . But with such crap posted lately, I figured I'd check it out. Thanks for pointing out the original, very well written and realistic, if a little bogged down by details with the waitress. I wish he'd finished. This continuation lacks all the subtlety that made the first story enjoyable. Just more of the same.

He's still trying to play within the rules and not "go postal," because the legal deck is still hopelessly stacked against him. Even after realizing that his kids have stopped drinking their mom's kool aid and started waging their "resistance," his first reaction was to urge them not to do anything that would rock the boat with the court and CPS. The most he's done here is not come running to the rescue when his ex panics. Some commenters continue to think that makes him a wimp, but really it just makes him continue to be realistic.

The fantasy element here is the kids and their guerrilla campaign against their mom. And as long as FTDS doesn't go overboard and have them start building fertilizer bombs or brewing ricin in the basement, they're just being the kids that every wronged father probably wishes he had.

This story demonstrates that great writing is so much fun. A great sense of humour well honed worldly knowledge reasonable intelligence and a great deal of effort and Viola! The characters were the best they could be. The mother was a complete slimeball Ann's the children were extremely intelligent and realistic about their situation. I look forward to reading your work which is quite exceptional and I have yet to find one with less than a five stars effort. Thank you!

@ Anon Preceding comment is not from me.

I ask for kind Anons do not abuse my nickname. Literotica can check my comment place (they wipes my vote regularly after the stories!) against I am banned here!

BTW I agree the rule to ban the sexual connection between adult and below 18 years old to save the young generation from STDs, early psychological burnout and early babies. However to show the problem with promiscouse life style danger at divorced ex wife for kids may be show in smart stories as Vulcez "How Are You?" and this story.

From the true Duna

Girl is repeatedly pointed out as 15yoa and this is on site so now you do away with age restriction and FTDS is showing the way.

but I am afraid I have to agree with Ambivalence.

They might end up institutionalized lol but not for long -

Dad does need to grow a pair though -

Let's see what you have in store for him -

Very nice and diabolical. Sadly, in the real world the acting job of the kids wouldn't be an act. Married couples who selfishly ruin their kids, and the kids who just pass it on on when it's their turn. A big part of the social problems in our world. Oops, that's depressing but the story isnt- it's a hoot so far! Excellent writing.

To those reading this FTDS continuation, it IS NOT FINISHED, he seems to have abandoned the story.

I laughed all the way. Having 5 kinds I know how easy they wind us parents up to het what they want. She had no chance of winning.

LOL a laugh a minute with those kids!

thanks for adding to this series

we now know

What Happened to Finish the Damn Story

I am so glad you guys picked this story up it will be a Lit classic.

Background music for this chapter: Counting bodies like sheep.

RIP John your input will be missed.

As for you ghost writer: NEVER stop writing.

“He didn't even ask me too” – Until that night he never knew about it!

“I couldn't let him do that." – Forgetting for the moment that you were pretty much an absent parent, fighting him for custody was one thing, why did you have to pretty much destroy him, denying him any sort of “normal” visitation, and sabotaging what little he had?

She wants to know how to “fix” it? It’s easy, go to the court and have the visitation order modified: He gets UNsupervised visits for an ENTIRE weekend every other week, unlimited phone, text and Skype contact. I’m sure there are other things, that’s all I can think of off the top of my head.

“If your damn father could have just minded his own business, none of this would have happened!" – So, her being an absentee parent and sleeping around WASN’T his business?!

“Don't let him do nothing” – Huh? Traci’s supposed to be the brainy one, and she doesn’t know that it’s “anything”?

“Jenna shouldn't be dressed that way” – I don’t care HOW she’s dressed, “good” men don’t perv on 15-year-old girls, and that’s the second time “Mom” got her own daughter’s age wrong! Then she did it AGAIN!

Funniest thing I have ever read on "Lit". EVER!! This chapter, on it's own, should be made into a movie. SO glad FTDS picked this story up and ran with it. I can't wait to see the next chapter. 5 Stars, no doubt.

I quote from the story;

"Heck, Mom's going out getting laid every night of the week probably. She's never home any more. She comes home dressed different than when she goes out. It's about time you got yourself a little," Jenna said."

I know we'd like to think kids would react in such a loyal way, but it just ain't that simple.

In real life, reactions are complex, and because this is so, the childrens' reactions are most often going to take the form of measured responses that reflect that reality.

No child--even in horribly broken families--wants to consider their parent as a sexual being (let alone encourage them to "get a little"!

To be honest, that writing is just a little bit more than creepy.

This was MUCH BETTER than the original story....but, obviously still not finished!

With no reference to the original this stands on its own.

When Tommy looks at his mom and says "You don't want to do that Jessie".

I laughed out loud. Totally unexpected and perfectly timed.

And then the English Prof says "Comparative Titature" while leering at Jenna's 15 year old breasts. I howled with laughter.

I love that the kids recognize dad's flaw and take on the Momster by themselves.

This is just a fabulous continuation. I can't wait to read the rest.

Thank you for writing it.

now that is what i call a great story!

No better finisher or closer has ever completed an LW story. I loved it.

Great panic scenes. Love the kids plotting to destroy the nutso mother.

This is getting better and better, your good.

that's not a finish !

Better

Last name is Lords? Got to love Traci, not yet in high school and she's scary smart. If a guy cheats on her he's either going to be a dead man or wish he was. It's been a while since I've read a story and laughed this hard, so much more fun than the original. Signed: BTW

Dad is a wimp and mom sounds like a real winner, kids should call cops on mom.

Go kids turn her in . Dad definitely a wimp

Great story. Fantastic kids. He he he

Tommy rocks!

Hilarious

What planning! What acting! The stupid dad doesn't deserve these kids. How can a father be such a gutless wimp?! The mom is a soulless whore! Poor kids, with parents like these!

I love these kids!

Sad they have more guts than there dad!

Kids are great and the little bit about Dad's getting screwed by the courts are so true.

That was hilarious! Excellent!

Funniest story ever.

LOVE THOSE KIDS!!

Dying laughing. More like comedy than LW, but so much fun.

Hilarious kids. Traci is awesome!

"We all love Dad, but he's a wimp. He follows the rules, and gets run over by them." - He's not a wimp, he had no choice. If he didn't follow the rules he'd STILL get run over, then they'd back over him and run over him again!

\

"I guess not that much balls, since he never should have picked up the phone" - Why not? It might have been an emergency.

\

"She's barely sixteen!" - 15, LOL, she doesn't even know how old her daughter is.

\

"She couldn't let him win." - Not even if it would help her? She's cutting off her nose to spite her face.

Love the kids. Glad they aren't mine, but love 'em anyway😁

LOL, great

Ditto sbrooks comments. Nice though very enjoyable.

Oh a good fun read,

Plenty of kids action, and well thought out, but little adult action, shame.

Left in an odd place for someone with your handle.

Dad for some reason just rolled over and gave us up without a fight. That hurt." Come on no matter how bad you want to paint the father as a wuss/wimp, this is just delusional. When he found out, he straight confronted the MIL and Daughter and made his plan clear. When that fell out, he got a divorce and fought for his children. If anything it's the court, the wife, the mom and his children that screw him up. Although they didn't know the truth to be fair but he did tell his eldest daughter Jenna but she didn't believe until her own mother told her.

Now, you're saying he gave them up? come one! He's not rolling over, he's very slow in his actions but he doesn't have a freaking choice it's the legal system that screwing him now. What should he have done? Take a bat to the wife and take the kids and run?

Also, now you've got Traci her dad is a wimp and got no balls? You've made her to look more and more like her evil bitch mother. The first 3 stories were trying to be realistic. This one just doesn't make sense as a follow up. Would've been better just as standalone original