All Comments on 'Doctor's Orders'

by SmlJohnson

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  • 5 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
High marks for literary construct but, frankly, a

bit redundant in the context of your other work. You write so well; couldn't you 'stretch' out [pun intended] with something else? Almost anything other than another reprise. Or is this a serial autobiography?

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
A very realistic story-great writing

This is so realistic. I have been in similar situations and always felt so embarassed. I am glad I am not alone.

Keep writing about other experiences.

pallespallesover 17 years ago
no medical experince

Ok, I like the subject matter. But... in the real world, especially the military, the MD does not weigh people, take urine, etc. Also the position for a prostate exam seems to be way off base.

Maybe you could have had a female medic peeking as he gave the urine sample and whispering to the RN and others about the patient’s small dick. Maybe the orderly could have made him strip totally for the weight, which is unusual for the military. Then it could have built to the point when the black major (why introduce race? Does that really matter?) enters and she could have had some dialogue with the medic regarding the patient’s health….

I don’t mean to be harsh, I just like stories to have some possibility if not probability. Have you been in the military? Have you been to the doctor? Have you had a prostate exam? I’m not going to ask if you have a small dick… something has to be true in the story!!

asiaprofasiaprofover 17 years ago
An unusual one...

A nice package of

Humour, observation, fantasy

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Continued Great Stories

Love your great imagination, writing skills and subject matter. Keep them coming!

Anonymous
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