by SacredHarlot
Beautifully told, and incredibly tragic first half.
What is it with most of the authors here. Do they want you to cry before you get to the end of the story?
Not that it detracted from the story in any way.
The background and history of the family made the characters come to life. With all of the torment that they had in their lives it was nice to read that they had finally accepted the love that they had for each other.
The erotic sex was sweet, but the love that they had for each other was what i thought was the focus of the story.
Just a nicely done love story. Thanks
I really like this story. I am glad that through all the tragedy in their lives, they found love with each other.
Well written and smoothly progressed after the beginning. At the start it was a little confusing with so many people, marriages, children and deaths. It made it difficult to keep straight I still think I'm a little confused about it. But her nephew grabbing her showing her she is a beautiful woman and giving her what she needs was great. But she deserved more for play he had better worship her body all night to make up for it. Hopefully she will not be pregnant they deserve better. Good work will watch for you in the future! thanks
-I was tempted to start a family tree chart to keep track of who was whom, to keep track of their biological relationship and, particularly, their ages.
-Perhaps redoing this as a longer story might help.
Your style of writing is reminiscent of Catharina and Jessy19 who, as far as I'm concerned, write incest love stories better than anyone. I gave you Five Stars and I hope to see more submissions from you. Cheers!
So much ground work and development should be the precursor to a series. That it was a one shot is not just a let down, it's a waste.
Hot sex - when you got to it. Too bad it wasn't the prelude to a dozen more chapters with those two characters!
I really enjoyed this story and I hope that you make a series out of this.
more romantic,
more tender,
more erotic.
and there was so much death and despair for a love story. The only one who didn't die was Jacob, and he is the one who should have.
As already mentioned, you spent entirely too much time building an entirely too complex background to end it with a measley few paragraphs of sex, hot or not.
it seems that your age calculations are off unless Emma is a genuis and graduated really early from college or Tyler failed a grade or two
This reads like the outline for a novel until you get to the sex which is rather rushed and uninspired. Start over and write it as a full length novel, it begs for at least 150,000 words. And yes I do have a publishing background, though I am long retired. You have the potential, don't waste it!