All Comments on 'Downhill Racer'

This was even better then your previous masterpiece!!!

I think the story in and of itself is great and grammatically correct (which, sorry, if it has bad grammar, it bothers me..anyway) - however, I didn't like how it jumped back in forth between 3rd person and 1st person. It just seemed to interrupt the flow. I could tell there was more than one person writing, and it just seemed off.

Yes I really love your writing. This ‘epic’ was a little lengthy but the character development and plot held my interest throughout the whole story. There are not many stories on LITEROTICA that will do that for me. I will certainly be looking out for more of your fine stories in the future. Pete.

People are going nuts over this story. Why? The sex scenes are unoriginal. The writing is tedious. It's full of been-there-before episodes and banal dialogue. Keep it simple, people. Show, don't tell. This would be a better and more interesting story if it were one third as long.

Manny, I think I've read all of your stories now, and they run from pretty darn good to great! Your later ssubmissions get better, and part of that is because you've improved grammar and spelling - those things may seem unimportant to some, but they certainly make the story easier to read.

I love your ability to set the background. You tell a bit of the characters' history. You describe their thoughts and feelings. All in all, they've been among the best I've read on Literotica. If you'd just improve the readability!

Oh, and one other thing - you've not submitted a story in a VERY LONG time. Please give us more!

Now I look forward to reading Trace's stories.

Hey, Manny, I just re-read Downhill Racer, planning to recommend it to some friends, and I can't imagine what I meant when I typed "If you'd just improve the readability!" There doesn't seem to be much wrong with the readability, I think I was saying that your readability has improved over time and with experience.

If anything is missing, it would be that we need to know for certain that Manny is feeling secure and comfortable with the change in their relationship. That is implied, but not specified.

Still a great story, one which demonstrates a healthy attitude about sex with multiple lovers. It's a story that can be instructive, encouraging for your readers who might be looking for guidance in that area.

It's been about four years since you've submitted anything - I have corrected my error, now I hope you'll correct the error of leaving your fans wanting more.

Gary

NWAC

Loved the plot, the pacing, development of relationships - and the climax!!!

Well done.

1*

That was hot from the beginning to the end.

Can't they lock such psychos up somewhere??

The story is a 1* garbage.

I love your stories and I adore your writings, however after reading the first page on this one I just couldn't get myself into it. What got me was that it doesn't mention anybodys age. Trace is about ten years older than Jackie. But how old is Jackie? Also it appears that after one year into her marriage, Manny is already wanting to pass her on to someone else. as she had seen Trace a year before at a session she had attended. And thats as near to mentioning how long she has been married. It seems that on their first year of marriage they had skinny dipped with three other couple, She had exposed herself to the hotel help and I'm sure that before this story ends she going to get it on with Trace. The most confusing part is that it starts as a tale that Trace is recounting. If he wrote this story? how does he know what Manny and Jackie had been talking about? also what they're thinking? It just got to busy going here and there with no context that explains anything. If its a long story your first page should grab your reader and it didn't do it for me. as it didn't really say anything about the characters that were going to be involved. If it's more than a one person story it should be noted in the introduction. This appears to be a three person with a commentator also. Your first page should have covered all of this. This is not a critizism, just trying to point out one of the pitfalsl of trying to write a long story and not having a good editor. I'v read several of your stories and I fell in love with them. this one however I'm going to skip and jump to another one. As I know that whatever is in the middle will be just a repetition of the first page. (No insight into this people.) Again thank you for sharing. love your writing.

You're supposed to be a very good writer. Judging by this cuck shit, I can't see it.

Absolutely loved this storey, built up very nicely to the sex in the cabin. One of the best. 5+.

Fantastic storey,well written and so sexy, loved it. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️