Dr. Cole's Casefiles - Vanessa Pt. 06

She nodded. "Yes. I do begin to see. Aaron is something of a father substitute. Not in a sexual sense, but in many emotional ways. He gives me love, security, comfort, strength, protection."

I said, "Yes. Order. His order against her chaos. But the chaotic figure of your youth, your mother, deprived you of the order figure of your youth, your father. You chose to withdraw and deal with the internal chaos alone. I can't tell you how strong I think you are, how inherently reasonable and, well, good. You're not an alcoholic or a drug addict or a promiscuous wreck.

"You don't use people or try to manipulate them. You don't force them to try to make you happy. Whatever happiness you achieve is your responsibility. You came to that conclusion on your own at the age of twelve, though you were too young to articulate the idea. I can't praise you enough, or express my full admiration for you as a person."

She wept. "Oh, Sue," was all she could say.

I let her lie there for a few minutes to regain control of her emotions. I said, "Tell me what Judith did to you that was bad enough to make you want to kill her. Talk it out."

Vanessa inhaled deeply, blinked slowly, and continued. "This past Tuesday, I showed up dressed in a slutty outfit, the way she liked it best. She was in her black leather corset and she was wearing a big strapon. She looked stern, not neutral. I had a feeling I was in for a bad time."

***

Observer mode.

***

Judith raked her eyes down Vanessa's body and back up. She said, "Let's see what you have on under that dress, girl."

Her aggressive tone surprised and frightened Vanessa. Her dress was made of rayon with a flower print over a coral background. It showed a lot of cleavage and a lot of leg. It wrapped tightly around her generous body and fastened on the right side. Under it, she wore a coral underwire bra with sheer cups. Neither the dress nor the bra hid her prominent nipples, nor kept her luscious orbs from bouncing as she walked. She wore no panties, not even a thong. She encased her legs with sheer coral thigh highs and her feet with golden strappy high heels.

Judith's abrupt command caused her to hesitate, but the last few weeks of her renewed acquaintance with the dominatrix had reconditioned her to obedience. She reached to unfasten the dress, let it fall from her body. and stepped out of it. Judith examined her minutely, walking around, touching here, caressing there, finally resting her hand on the young woman's derriere.

She squeezed the warm and firm flesh and whispered into Vanessa's ear, "This is your day to choose, my sweet."

Vanessa's eyes shot wide. She had dreaded this moment. No matter how wonderful the sex, she could never love Judith, mainly because Judith could never love her. Vanessa had come to know, from her relationships with Karen and Aaron, that love involves sacrifice, kindness, generosity, selflessness, an unconditional celebration of another's life.

Love was an alien concept to Judith. She only understood possession. Vanessa had once been her possession, a position the young woman accepted gladly in her emotional ignorance. But the loss of Karen made her wiser but sadder, as is usually the case. Nothing comes without a cost. And that experience had softened her heart so that she could open it for Aaron when he entered her life.

Vanessa squared her shoulders, moved away from the dominatrix, and announced, "I'm not your possession, Judith. I only fuck you to protect my relationship with Aaron. No matter how wild you make me in bed, it's nothing but a physical sensation and can never be anything more."

Judith's eyes blazed for a moment, then the cold settled back in. "So be it, slut. No, don't shrink from the word. That's what you are. A slave to your own pussy, despite all your talk about your love for Aaron. What a joke. You lay there on your back, legs in the air, your feet on my ass raising your hips, pulling my lady-cock deeper into your dripping cunt, screaming for more, shuddering in ecstasy. Then you bury your face between my legs and moan and whimper about how delicious I smell and how sweet I taste. Ha! Such an irredeemable little slut."

Judith took a breath and continued. "Very well. I offered you respect in exchange for your willing compliance. You refuse, so I'll take whatever I want. Bend over."

Vanessa hesitated. "What do you mean?"

Judith said, "I'm going to plow that luscious ass of yours, slut. I've always wanted it, but, like a fool, I had pity on you when you said you didn't like it. Well, I want your ass and you'll give it to me or poor dear Aaron won't just have pictures to see."

Judith picked up a small remote, pointed it to a shelf, and pushed a button. The sound of Vanessa moaning, crying, begging for more cock, and finally screaming out her ecstasy issued from the speakers of a small stereo. Vanessa covered her open mouth in shock.

Judith's mouth stretched into an evil grin. "Once he's ejected you from his life, can't you just imagine dear Aaron jerking off while listening to this tape and looking at your slutty pictures? I bet he'll come even more quickly than you can get him to. Oh, don't like that? Then bend over, slut. I promise I'll use lube."

As a last resort, Vanessa asked in a shaky voice, "But what do you get out of fucking my ass?"

Judith answered, "This strap-on is two-headed. I'll be fucking myself while I fuck you. I actually dream about your ass, I want it so badly. No, slut, have to fear for me. I'll be getting plenty of pleasure. Now bend over. There."

She pointed to the back of the couch. Tears streaming down her face, Vanessa obeyed. Judith shot lubricant into her anus and spread it around inside with a figure. She added a second finger and crooned, "That lovely ass is too tight. I can't have you gripping the dildo, so RELAX," she said, as she slapped Vanessa's right butt cheek.

Vanessa refused to cry out, but she did her best to relax her asshole. After several moments, Judith seemed satisfied. She covered the lady-cock with lubricant and inserted the head into the lovely blonde's rectum.

Vanessa couldn't help but jerk and tighten her muscles. That earned her a slap on the left cheek as Judith said, "I said to relax, slut. Here, take this."

Judith handed her a vibrator. "Use this on your clit while I'm fucking your ass. And make sure you come. After a few times, you'll probably enjoy being ass-fucked. Every true slut is a three-hole slut. Now you're in the club."

***

I asked, "How did that make you feel?"

Vanessa shrugged. "At first, humiliated. But when I felt an orgasm coming on from the vibrator, I got disgusted with myself. After Judith had her orgasm and pulled out, she said, 'Maybe next time, slut, I'll make you lick my cock clean. I'll be sure to use a flavored lube. Do you like mint?' Then she laughed and walked toward the bathroom. She said, "See you next week, slut. Don't be late.'"

"That was when the anger returned. More than anger, fury. I wanted to kill her. Maybe, in the heat of the moment, I could have stabbed her or shot her or pushed her over a balcony rail. But to plot a murder? No, I couldn't do that.

"I was stuck. I couldn't let Aaron know about my past, but Judith was only gonna get worse, the evil bitch."

I asked, "And this happened this past Tuesday? Day before yesterday?"

She closed her eyes and nodded. I said, "No wonder you didn't sleep." And I thought, "No wonder you seduced me. Sex is your answer to stress. Under the circumstances, where else were you going to turn? My poor pretty lamb."

I glanced at Vanessa. No tears. I supposed she was all cried out, emotionally drained. I asked, "Hungry?"

She shook her head and remained silent. I had to get her talking again. I said, "Let's get back to Aaron. How is he competent, do you think?"

She snorted. "How ISN'T he competent? I never saw anything he couldn't do."

I probed. "Well, he hasn't given you an orgasm so intense that you lose consciousness, has he?"

Her nostrils distended and she glared at me. "He's damn good in bed, plenty good enough for me. And he's romantic and adventurous. I wouldn't trade him for ten Judiths. What are you implying?"

I said, "Nothing. I'm trying to shake you out the feelings of guilt you have about your sexual reactions to Judith. Quit blaming yourself. She's beautiful, charismatic, highly skillful, manipulative and you're bisexual. From your description, I don't doubt that if she exerted herself, Judith could seduce me. I don't blame you, I don't judge you, and you've got to stop judging and blaming yourself. Think, now. How does Aaron make you feel, physically and emotionally?"

Her answer was a lot quicker than the one for Judith. "Physically, he satisfies me. I mean, he's a skillful and considerate lover. He withholds his own orgasm as long as he can until I've had at least three. Then we have a last one, sometimes together. God, that is so sexy.

"Emotionally, he makes me feel like I'm the only woman in the world. He doesn't put me on a pedestal. He doesn't expect me to be perfect. He loves my imperfections. He's always finding something to laugh about. He makes me feel safe, secure. I melt into his arms. I hold him in bed and never want to let go. I smell his skin and want to taste it. I want to feel his cock spurt warm seed into my pussy and my mouth.

The tears reappeared. "Oh God, what will I do if I lose him? I want to die."

I said, "I don't think you'll lose him. Based on what you've said in therapy, I'd bet everything I own that he'll understand perfectly once you tell him the truth?"

She looked at me speechless, wide-eyed, and horror-stricken. "Tell him? Are you crazy? How the fuck can I tell him I used to be a lesbian whore, my former mistress has found me, and I'm munching her cunt again? Jesus H. Christ! Tell him? Fuck me, hell no, I ain't tellin' him."

It took a while to convince her. We talked until nearly midnight, but she finally agreed that she owed him honesty. Besides, not telling him was only leading her deeper into the hole. I heated up a couple of TV dinners that I kept around for desperate times and went to bed. I wanted to hold her during the night, but we had passed that phase of our relationship never to be revisited. I showed her the spare bedroom and wished her good night.

The next morning, Friday, I fed her breakfast and took her back to her car. I waved goodbye, very worried but hoping my judgement of Aaron's character was correct. It had to be. That was the only way for this situation to end well. Vanessa had promised to keep her appointment next Wednesday and to call me tonight if her talk with Aaron went bad.

I climbed the four flights of stairs to my office and settled in for the day. I got through it, somehow, but I remember little of what happened with my patients. Thank God for tape recorders and notebooks.