by Liar
And I reviewed it on the Authors Hangout New Story Review. Wonderful, Liar, thanks for posting it.
FallingToFly
Very nice story, Liar! I think this is the first story of yours I've read, and I'm glad it was this one. The plot is very sweet and engaging. I also laughed once or twice from the clever dialogue. You should be very proud.
It was a little shakey in the begining with the dreams and in her head dialog, but then I got it. It was a wonderful read, that I enjoyed very much. I look foward to reading future postings.
"Nice" definitely won´t do to describe your work. The way the rhythm of your words mirrors the movement of the sea, especially in the first couple of chapters is more than beautiful! Thank you, Maria
The touch of darkness.Wow!Few can feasibly do that.I do have to say;I'd love to wash up on your beach.Now whether my ankle got crushd in an 'freakish california helicopter crash or not'...And no beer and only tea,hell Id wash up there so we could have masturbateing contests...!!! ;)
But your right;it is an slippery slop filled full of debauchery and deciet,to acheive that 'high on life feeling' when you are without the one you love.It sucks when there is nothing 'in return'.Like spending the winter months alone with no one to cuddle and take comfort from.And then haveing spring come to only bring more solace makeing you want to give even more to 'get back to those blissful moments' your body wants and needs so badly.
This is the best quality I have read for a very long time, deliciously erotic and deeply emotional!!!!
I'm glad I read this just before my man gets home; I'm gonna jump his bones when he walks through the door. Very sexy, Liar.
Unlike the previous story of yours I read, this one I could have done without. In fact I did do without the second half of it.
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The woman was pretty well developed albeit more verbosely than this comment, the guy, not so much unless it happened in the second half, that would be a little odd since he was introduced early on.<BR>
I like dialog not monologue. For me a mental soliloquy is closely akin to contemplating the fuzz in one's navel with hopes of seeing Elvis Presley, John Lennon or some other deceased celebrity, unless it takes less than thirty seconds to read or the character is deciding whether or not to use a weapon of mass destruction or it moves the story forward and must not make me think of Woody Allan's epistles of angst. I read the first four or five soliloquies both in italicized and plain text, after that I skimmed or slow scrolled through them.
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About half way through the story I realized I couldn't stand to read any more so I speed scrolled through the rest of it. As it zipped up the screen I noticed at least one sex episode but, by that time I didn't care to stop and read it.
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Another site allows readers to rate three parts of a story on a ten point scale.
<p><font color="#800000">
1- <B>Technical merit</B></font><BR>
This covers spelling, grammar, punctuation, misuse of words, related issues and overall readability<BR>
<font color="#800000">
2- <B>Plot</B></font><BR>
Creativity, story line, story telling and character development<BR>
<font color="#800000">
3- <B>Personal Appeal</B></font><BR>
Story's emotional and/or intellectual impact on you</p>
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<font face="Courier New"><font color="#800000">
1- <B>Technical merit</B></font> - - - <B>6</B><BR>
No glaring errors noticed<BR>
<font color="#800000">
2- <B>Plot</B></font><B><font color="#000000">-</font></B> - - - - - - - - <B>3</B><BR>
See comments above<BR>
<font color="#800000">
3- <B>Personal Appeal</B></font> - - - <B>1</B><BR>
See comments above<BR>
</font>
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<I>-- srgeek --</I>
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I am taken aback with eachof your wonderful stories. I can't get over your writing! It is so beautiful and leaves me craving my love who is too far away. I hung on every sentence of the story and...let's just chalk it up to me loving this whole story.
~Victoria
Didn't care much for all the mind games and finally just fast forwarded through them. I would rather read a story with dialog between characters than look into someones spaced out thoughts. Going back and forth didn't do well for me, sorry.
Is it difficult to write a nice romantic stories without making the female characters sluts and whores? There should be a tag somewhere so that readers don't waste time reading such stories.
The story may be an award winning masterpiece but after reading the female character background, I'm dropping it.