All Comments on 'Drugged and Raped Ch. 08'

These small snippets are too small and this one doesn't advance the story at all. Please start to group a few of your "chapters" together to make real chapters that might renew interest in this story. It is just flat right now..

you are reading your own story.

It had nothing to do with the previous chapters and it was well too short to make any difference in the story so far.

You are clearly skilled in writing. This was shaping up to be an outstanding STORY. But just as everyone else has commented, it appears that with every small snippet you are merely throwing us a bone. When the entire STORY finally gets posted, you may have a 5 star tale. But with the snippets, you will continue to rate a 3. You write so well, I'm inclined to say keep going. But please...Let's have more than snippets.

Why is this still in Loving Wives. Your writing a novel for gods sack.

your story is losing what it started about getback on track or forget it it is getting hard to believe

have you gone off on a complete tangent? This is completely out of the context of the story and as others have commented too short and not relevant...

wow...

I've read anonymous comments that made more sense.

World building, like this chapter, is good in a longer story. Qhml1 is the master of that. And in a 5+ page story, it's good. At just one page. In a longer story being doled out slowly like this one, it's tedious. I'd rather wait three weeks for an 8 page complete story than get 1 page doled out every couple days. Maybe next time write the whole thing. And post it as a larger story.

1*

I have no idea where this story is going or why this is important to the plot. You stated there are 18 chapters yet it seems like this is being written as you go. It seems stubborn to continue to post snippets (not chapters) twice a week or so. If they’re done post each day, or If they’re done connect more of them together.

Clearly we are in a new dimension. This is so far beyond plausible and sooooooo far from moving the plot forward that scoring thus a 1* is generous. But, hey, I am in a generous mood. 1*

It really seems like you are just making it up on the fly. My inclination to continue is fading.

Just extraneous and not necessary. This is causing the story to drag. One more chapter like this and I'm gone. Very promising first few chapters. Need chapters to be a little longer.

Constant RCCA for shadowing & only sinppets --- you lost another reader!!!!

Please stop writing....... please stop it.

when you have written only one chapter take a second and thinkis this important to the story is anything gained by posting this now. If not just don't post it wait until you've done a bit more and post that.

An unnecessary chapter for this story; especially in this category.

If you needed this for the storyline at all; it would've been better suited to add it onto another chapter that did have relevance to the story. Otherwise, you just upset & lose readers.

Too long... it seems that the author needs to be spanked with a low rating for him to quit this story!

You must never have had to work with these unelected government shits. All they are interested in is extorting as much as possible or making as much money as possible for them or there friends

Both the construction project and the construction of the overall story.

Yes that is discrimination. They could never ask that. How would city pay for upkeep if they have no money already. The bigger question: why would anyone choose to live next to a public park/pool in a bad aread of town? If literotica had awards for worst continuing story, this would be up there.

This story has degenerated into just random chatter - the story line is lost and forgotten.

This whole story line started out as very interesting and worth following, Not anymore. Could care less now. Hope you will heed the suggestions and try posting multiple pages. But for now? Giving up on this one. 1 Star. Sad really. Could have been better.

I don't know what you are trying to do but this is just stupid. This whole story could have been done at one chapter and not ramble as much as it does. You are not bad with words but your story line is just unreasonable.

This story has gone downhill since chapter 2, and this seemed to be just filler. The storyline has become tedious, boring and I've lost interest in continuing. On a related note, the premise that this type of situation could actually occur with a zoning board is beyond ludicrous, please brush up on your local zoning ordinances and related real estate ordinances.

All this twaddle about real estate is so far off the story line that I have to ask if you have memory problems! It is not erotic, it is not about interplay between husband and wife (loving wives) and it is plainly unreal. How many people do I know that are like this? None. I keep waiting for the pet unicorn !

Get back to the story or end it mercifully.

This had promise to start and is now just bad. This story is really really bad...wow. Been here for years and this may just turn out to be the worst ever written on this site.

Such a bizzare plot point, turning a guys back yard into a public water park?

First its just stupid on so many levels, second, why?

Thanks.

This is a throwaway chapter. Not a good building block.

This story is so totally offline as to wonder if the same person is writing it, and for what purpose they're writing.

The council questioned him about him getting back together with his ex-wife? Where the hell would that line of thought have come from? As though it had any bearing on the ludicrous idea of having his back yard turned into a park.

This part of the story is just completely ridiculous. So very bad it makes my teeth hurt.

I'm done now. The story was interesting until it started wandering off in odd directions seemingly for no good reason.

Why write this chapter? It did NOTHING for the story. 1*

This story gets worse with each chapter! Now he is allowing the local government to blackmail him into buying more property, building a park and then turning it over to them?? Utter CRAP!!!

Me, I'd of told the commission to forget it, I would rather move my project somewhere else. Somewhere that would accept my project to build a new home with all the amenities that I was going to build into it. My tax dollars would be be collected from that city/township and not by them...

How was Chuck able to develop an invention on company time and patent it personally.

Basic business law holds that work you do on company time belongs to the company. There is no mention of a home work shop (some employment agreements even claim ownership of inventions developed during personal time) or an agreement with the company to allow him to profit personally from this invention.

In the real world, all of Chuck's plans will come crashing down in a heap of rubble when the company takes him to court to claim ownership of the patent, and wins.

Oh, yeah...and this whole chapter where he allows the city to put parking lots on both sides of his house, that will end up in the middle of a public park is just stupid. Close the pool for private use by the family? Because everyone knows that teenagers will never climb an eight foot fence to get into a pool... at 2:00 AM, right?

Excursion into a completely irrelevant story line. I don't give a shit about his trials and tribulations with the city zoning commission. How the hell does that move the story along?

What relevance to the story did this have?

Sorry. Like mist of your writing but this story is getting worse by the page.

This story is just getting stupid and stupider.

This tale is hardly realistic on any level.

What was the author thinking when he wrote this story.

1/5

Talk about losing the plot. Nothing builds suspense quite like a city planning session.

Just filler...

I have a friend who's Family gave land to the City .. Before the land was taken by the city they wanted My friends family to do about 300 thou of improvements on it . So in the end it was cheaper for My Friends family to keep the land . The city's Lawyer should have read the fine print on the Contract

What a croc of shit, You need to get real

A little boon for the neighborhood and help for the elderly showing what a great guy he is.

What was this about? Must have fallen out of a alien space craft and the author just thought he would insert it here as a filler.

Pure fantasy,fancy being conned into providing a park and public pool in exchange for planning permission.

Ok..nothing makes sense anymore

this is getting dumber and dumber, but I keep reading to find out the final conclusion.

Being blackmailed into building a city owned park is not cool. I would cancel the plans and build the house in the next town over and build a public park there just to show them they shouldn't abuse the kindness of others.

I am at the speed reading--skimming stage already