All Comments on 'Dualism'

It is interesting. However the sense of the fox and succubus do not come to mind. Everyone seems to do 180 spins in personality.

Thick writing. Nice roller coaster for the sex. Next chapter will better show your pacing, as the introduction is always a bit chaotic when there's a plan for more.

Sometimes it does feel like it's impossible to break up them giant paragraphs. Not sure if they 'should' be or not. Up to you and better writers than I to offer real critique.

You have a good pace. Looking forward to chapter 2.

Just check for the little errors of missed or wrong words. Helps with the flow of the story if don't need to mentally make corrections all the time.

Cut the paragraph lengths. The reader needs to take a breath occassionally.

Bath (space bar,) room or bathroom? Butt cunterful whory °-°

Very nice opening chapter...