All Comments on 'Dystopia Pt. 02'

I love a good story and you have one here. Watch for consistency across chapters. You make a strong point of Isla being weak and unsuitable for work. Next you tell us her history of working in the family laundry and as a slave after her mother's death. Wouldn't she have familiarity with work? Even over weight, she'd have some strength. Given her time already in slavery, how is she still over weight? Had she been even heavier before? As you add to the story, you need to keep track of what you've already told us. ;)

The continuity problems mentioned by the previous commenter can be fixed, but keep an eye out for stuff like that in the future.

The part about Markham came out of nowhere, and (maybe i missed it) it doesn't seem to align with Emil and Isla's stories, either. I'm sure Markham's story and how it intersects with the main couple all planned out, but maybe drop some more hints for those of us that are a little slow on the uptake like me. Maybe Markham will find himself at the OK Tundra Bunny Ranch where he helps Emil keep Isla warm at night. (Days are good, too. Emil and Markham don't seem like prudes.)

Pleeeeeeaaaaaaaasssssseee?

So where are the next chapters? Good story so can you complete it please!

*glowers*

Do wish you would continue this story.

Isla is good hands, hoping this turns into something very romantic.

In writing a story this absorbing I suspect you are rapidly developing a fan base of readers. Anxiously awaiting the next chapter, and the next, and the next ...

..... can you feel your readers getting anxious for the next chapter? 😩 It is the price of writing this very appealing and desirable story.

Dropped a star for using the non-existent word “drug” instead of “dragged”.