All Comments on 'Ecstasy in The Big Easy'

Very erotic

simplistic. Add to that, inconsistent (7 or 8 o'clock date time?)

Whipping back and forth between past and present tenses within a single sentence, stuffy dialog, cardboard situations... Just horrible... At the very least, get an editor...

The dialogue was a bit unrealistic. It felt weird when she started to tell him about her troubles when she only met him moments ago.

Delta, Alamo, Nissan, Ritz-Carlton, Jovan, Bourbon Heat ... it just goes on and on.

This was one big ad for just about everything. You forgot to mention the type of computer that what's her name logged on to. That's how memorable your characters are...I can't recall the name of your heroine and I just read this story. This story needs a lot of polishing.

Love the storyline and it was wonderfully written. Some of the detailed background could be left out but I loved the story

The story itself is very nice and there is enough descriptive language in their lovemkaing to add eroticism, but I have to agree with some of the other comments. The language, dialogue and narrative, is too stuffy and formal sounding, almost stilted and awkward. And there are way too many brand names. Jus say "the rental car counter" or "the airline counter", etc. It flows more smoothly that way. As for her telling the guy her details, that may be more realistic than that reader thinks. I've done it before, so it stands to reason other people might. You also need an editor to proofread because there are lots of mechanical problems--misspellings, extraneous words, changing tense, etc. I think if you got it edited to correct that and make it flow better it would be very nice. I think I like the main character. Just put more into the characters and not so much into the details. Details are good to a point, but beyond that point they can distract.

You lose some energy in some of your sentences and your descriptors fall a bit flat. "took off her....shoes." Naah, "pumps," "stiliettos" etc.