Eirin Ch. 05

When Lord Hawthorn awoke in the morning he was disappointed to discover that Eirin was already out of bed and gone. He had never awoken in the night so had no idea when she had left, however a feel of her pillow told him it was cold and had been abandoned some time ago. His heart felt heavy. She did not want to be with him. Last night she had once again tried to leave the bed after they had made love. He had felt like the night before last and yesterday everything had changed. She had been open about herself when talking to him and giving when they were making love.

Lord Hawthorn decided that he was overestimating the importance of her leaving the bed already. He knew she was an early riser. She probably hadn't wanted to disturb him. He was also excited because he had sent a messenger into town yesterday to make an appointment for a seamstress to come to the castle to start a wardrobe for Eirin. Never having been responsible for a woman's wardrobe before, he was surprised at how much he anticipated being involved. It reminded him of the times he had helped Maria when she had decided to better herself and insisted he help her. Just thinking of it made him smile again. He had sent the messenger with very specific instructions as to what kinds and colors of fabrics to bring as well as the frills that went along with them.

The messenger had returned to say that the seamstress would be out by ten o'clock with a variety of patterns and fabrics to choose from. This made Lord Hawthorn jump up from bed in order to be ready by the time she arrived. He wanted to have Eirin in the house and ready for her without having to ruin the surprise by telling her why she was to stay close to the castle.

Later that afternoon Eirin stood patiently while the dressmaker and her assistants measured and pinned her, Lord Hawthorn was too busy being excited to notice how quiet she was. He loved the fabrics and laces they had brought and was busy going through them, along with the drawings, picking out what would match best. He never even noticed that Eirin hadn't once looked at a single drawing or given a single suggestion.

For herself, Eirin wished more than anything that she could just leave. She didn't want fine clothes; she didn't want hats or coin purses. It was ridiculous to spend this money on her. She hadn't even liked getting new clothes when her father was alive and insisting on it. It was boring standing still while they measure and pinned, hmm'd and muttered, picked and discarded. She wanted to tell Lord Hawthorn to send them away, but he was like a child with a puppy, and she hadn't the heart.

Eirin sat down in the study with a sigh of relief. She had been standing for what felt like days and Lord Hawthorn was still arguing with the woman about wanting a different lace for one of the dresses. He had ordered well over a dozen and even had them make one to leave today with an order that the remaining dresses be delivered the next week. Eirin had been shocked at the amount of money he was spending and felt that was just additional money she would have to pay him back for. Her one saving grace, in her mind at least, was that by the time she worked off the initial amount, she would have the rest of her inheritance and could pay him back without any problem.

Eirin looked up as Lord Hawthorn entered. She was so tired and worn out, and he looked so proud and pleased with himself. She was stuck, she would love to tell him off for ordering the dresses, but she couldn't bring herself to dampen his spirits; on the other hand, she couldn't join him in his glee either. She compromised by settling an interested expression on her face while waiting for him to direct the conversation.

The last thing she had expected was for him to tell her that he was going away the next day and wouldn't be back for several days. She found herself holding her breath, hoping he would invite her to go with him. However, she then berated herself for it, reminding herself that she was not interested in where he was going, she did not want to go with him, and she welcomed the break it would give her. She was glad he was so preoccupied with his plans because she was sure it had taken her a moment to gain control of her expression.

Lord Hawthorn awoke early the next morning. He watched Eirin sleeping beside him for a while wishing he didn't have to leave her. However, he had made up his mind in the middle of all the dress ordering. He loved Eirin and he wanted to marry her. He wanted to buy her dresses all the time. He wanted to go riding with her and eat dinner with her, he wanted to take her to London and show her his other estates. Never before had he given a damn about anything he owned. However, now he saw it all with new eyes. Eyes that told him he had a future worth working for.

He had spent so much of his life hating everyone, women especially, that he had missed out on so much. Here was this wisp of a girl who had grown up with a horrible father, been sold, raped and kept. Yet she still found joy in beating him at chess. She didn't even hide it. Each time she beat him she did a little dance in her chair, he wanted to watch her do a little dance in her chair for the rest of his life.

He was on his way to London to pick out a ring and buy her a pre-wedding gift. He prayed she would accept him. He felt confident she would, afterall, what else was there for her? She would never be able to marry anyone else with a title. Even more important, she would never find anyone that loved her as much as he did. He didn't want to wake her, so he slipped quietly out of bed and got dressed. Kissing her on the side of her head he stole from the room and left the house.

As Lord Hawthorn left the room, Eirin opened her eyes. He had awoken her when he'd shifted away from her. She waited several minutes before getting out of bed, hoping he would be well on his way by the time she made it downstairs.

As Eirin entered the kitchen Maria looked at her surprised. "What are you doing in here? I was going to serve you in the dining room, and what in the world are you wearing? Lord Hawthorn didn't spend all that money buying you new dresses for you to go around in those rags. Go upstairs and change your clothes, then go to the dining room like a proper lady."

Eirin waited a few seconds after Maria stopped talking before responding. She sometimes wondered how Maria didn't faint in the middle of her speeches; for as far as Eirin could see, she didn't take a breath during them. "I will not change, I did not ask for the clothes, and I see no reason to wear them when Lord Hawthorn is not here. I have no one to impress here. He bought them so he could look at me and be impressed with what he accomplished, not because I wanted them. Furthermore, I will not eat in the dining room. I eat in there when Lord Hawthorn is here because he wishes it of me. As far as I'm concerned, I should eat here in the kitchen every day."

Maria clucked her tongue and muttered under her breath, but she went and got a plate for Eirin anyway, refusing to let her serve herself even if she did insist on eating in the kitchen. As they ate they made plans for their day. Maria wanted Eirin to stop by the school house Lord Hawthorn set up on the property to discuss some lessons with the school master. Then she said it was time for the staff to have new uniforms and she wanted Eirin to look at the styles and fabrics before she placed the order.

Eirin immediately agreed without even realizing what she was doing. Maria nodded her head as if confirming something, but then continued on as if nothing out of place had happened. After eating Eirin set about the chores Maria had laid out for her, thankful to be kept busy in Lord Hawthorn's absence.

Several days later, Eirin and Maria were sitting in the parlor drinking tea and discussing the events in the castle. Without any preamble Maria asked Eirin when she was going to tell Lord Hawthorn the truth. Eirin just looked at her, unable to fathom what she was talking about.

"I know you are not Phillip's daughter. There is no way. Phillip is a low class con man; his daughter is a scheming harridan. The day Lord Hawthorn left you took the running of this castle. Not a small undertaking. You've been trained in the art of running a castle. You've been through fittings with the best seamstresses in the country. You speak several languages, I hear you mutter and talk to yourself in them as you are working. You read philosophy, science, literature and theology. You are a Lady; there is no other way about it. When are you going to tell Lord Hawthorn?"

Eirin's face paled and she almost dropped her cup as she set it back down on the trolley. "I do not know what you are talking about. I enjoy reading, I always have. I can't help it if I like a variety of subjects. The only words I know in other languages are bad words. I was too intimidated the day of the fittings to do anything other than stand there; I have no idea how I'm supposed to behave with a seamstress. I am no Lady. You remember that. I'm nothing." Eirin was looking around wildly as if she could find some way to escape this interrogation.

Maria poured Eirin more tea and insisted she drink some, hoping to calm her down. "I will not say anything. If I was going to, I would have a long time ago. However, I still think you should. Sweetie, what is it? Are you running from someone? Did Phillip threaten you, or someone you know? You can trust me. Please tell me what is wrong?"

Eirin took a deep breath and shook her head. "No, Maria. I do not wish to speak of it. This is my life and I can not change it. Please do not push me; please let us continue how we were. If you want, I'll go back to the garden and helping Old Joe again. I swear, I would prefer that. I never meant to do any of your jobs; it wasn't fair to you. I just wasn't paying any attention. But, I realize it now, and I will go back to doing what I was before."

"You will do no such thing. You haven't taken anything away from me. I don't want to hear any of that nonsense from you again. I won't ask you again about where you came from or why you are lying to Lord Hawthorn. I promise I won't mention any of this to Lord Hawthorn, but I want you to know that I do know you are lying. I don't know why, but you are. Now calm down. I've given my word. Finish your tea and we'll go into town ourselves to pick up the rest of your wardrobe this afternoon. The fresh air will do us both some good."

That night, as Eirin lay in her bed, she couldn't stop herself from reliving her conversation with Maria over and over. There was no way Maria knew the truth. She had become so caught up in feeling useful again that she hadn't even paid attention to the fact that she was giving herself away. She was thankful Lord Hawthorn had not been here, though she doubted he would have noticed even if he had. She hoped Maria kept her word. She could never shame her father's name by letting it be known she had allowed herself to be made into a whore.

Eirin cried that night. Cried for the first time in two months. She cried all night long before she got up shortly before dawn and went out to the gardens to watch the sun come up. She missed her father and the life she had known with him. She had spent so much time ignoring her own situation and pushing the memory of her father to the back of her mind, she didn't even realize she was doing it anymore. She'd never been allowed to mourn him. Immediately after he had died Phillip and Melissa had moved into her house and fired her servants. She had spent the rest of the time keeping up with all the chores they gave her and hoping the police would find the person who had killed him.

Eirin spent the next several days avoiding Maria. She even found herself wishing Lord Hawthorn would return, because then she would have a reason to be busy. She had finally come in to finish some sewing for one of the servants who kept losing the buttons on his shirts. She had just settled herself in the front parlor when the butler arrived informing her that she had a visitor.

Eirin was confused, she knew no one, and no one who she might have known would know she was here. She had just begun to stand up when Melissa walked into the parlor and dismissed the butler. Eirin was speechless. She sat back down hard, gripping the fabric in her hands.

"Well? Don't you have a greeting for me?" Melissa sat herself on the loveseat facing Eirin and helped herself to a piece of cake from the tray on the table. Eirin continued to sit there without speaking, just watching her lick the icing from the cake off her fingers.

"You always were slow. Aren't you even going to ask me why I'm here? You might as well call the butler back in as well. I've been traveling for several days and I'm parched. I would like wine, though, not tea."

Since Eirin just continued to sit there, Melissa took it upon herself to pull the cord calling for the butler. Once he had taken her order and left, Eirin finally pulled herself together and sitting up straight, asked Melissa what she wanted.

Melissa waited until the butler had left before she started speaking. "It's your solicitor. The old fool refuses to give us anymore money until he can see you. It's quite annoying if you want to know the truth. But, we do need the allowance, so I need you to go into London and see him so we can continue to get an allowance."

Eirin was once again struck speechless. The audacity of this girl was beyond words. Finally, she started go become angry. This girl, whose father had sold her, who had stolen her house, and her allowance, wanted more from her? "No."

Now it was Melissa's turn to be surprised. Eirin had never denied them anything. "What do you mean, 'no'? My father deserves that money for being your guardian. That was the agreement. We take care of you, and in return we get your pittance of an allowance."

Eirin raised her eyebrow before narrowing her eyes and replying in an acerbic tone, "You are taking care of me? Your father sold me. He can not possibly be my guardian anymore, seeing as how I live here now. I do not wish to see my solicitor; I don't want anyone else to know of my situation here. You will have to make due with the amount you get for the house allowance. What happened to all the money Phillip stole in the first place?"

"It's gone, as well as the house allowance. Your solicitor will give us nothing. Not until he sees you. The old biddy doesn't trust us, and even told us so. If you won't go London, then you'll have to give me something else. You are wearing fine clothes; you can't be doing too poorly for yourself. Does he give you baubles as well? I can take some of those; they will be easy to sell. You might as well give me a few outfits as well, I have been traveling for almost a week and all my clothes are becoming worn out."

Eirin stood up, prepared to finish this visit. "I am sorry you have traveled so far for nothing, however, I have nothing to give you. You have taken from me everything you will. I have no baubles, no clothes, no jewelry, silver, nothing. You will get nothing else from me. You have wasted all your money, my money and whatever you've stolen. You should have thought about this before."

Eirin turned toward the door to show Melissa out when she saw Lord Hawthorn standing there with a surprised look upon his face. She turned back to Melissa quickly trying to figure out how to get her out of there without letting Lord Hawthorn know anything else of her situation. She kept looking back and forth between the two when Melissa's voice brought Eirin's attention back to her.

"You are a worthless, thankless slut. Look at you. You stand there in the finery another man gave you because of your skills in his bed, and you are too good to give us any of it. I knew you would be trouble. I told Phillip he should have killed you as well. But, no, he said that that would cause too much suspicion. Your father could be mugged and no one would question, but how could both of you die? Then he waited and waited. I kept telling him that if he would just get rid of you, then we could have all the money. I should have killed you myself!"

Eirin could feel herself spinning. The room was a swirl of color around her and she couldn't tell if she was seeing the ceiling or the floor. She tried to keep herself from falling, but it was no use, she knew she was fainting and she could stop it. The last thing she heard before she knew only blackness was Lord Hawthorn calling her name.

Lord Hawthorn ran to Eirin barely seeing the girl standing next to her. He had been so excited to come back home. To see Eirin and feel her arms around him again. He had run into the house only to be told that Eirin had a visitor in the front parlor. He was surprised, because she had never mentioned telling anyone where she was, but was in too much of a hurry to think about it. He had arrived at the door just as Eirin had been refusing to give this strange girl any money. He had been about to interrupt and introduce himself when the other girl had started yelling at Eirin.

Lord Hawthorn had listened to the girl admit that Phillip had killed Eirin's father. He was trying to take it all in, but he was having trouble assimilating all the information. Eirin's father was alive. He was a no good con man, but he was alive. Before he could think any further on the subject, he saw Eirin falling and ran to her. So consumed was he with Eirin he didn't even notice the girl as she screamed and ran from the room.