All Comments on 'Elizabeth Takes What She Wants'

gave you a five but only because I like red heads.

I might read some of your other stuff about Elizabeth after I finish my obligatory rounds in the Loving Wives genre.

I don't know where you/re headed with Lizzie, but I have three suggestions. One, if you want feedback find a way to fit your stories into the Loving Wives section. You'll be pilloried, but most of the comments will be worth the gauntlet. Second, you'll need to do a better job proofing your content to get rid of the awkward sentences. Third, there's a setting problem that emerges in two ways. Some of your dialogue reflects an English or Australian background. That's fine, but it would be helpful to give your story a tangible location. "Oh I was living in Perth in this over-priced apartment building overlooking these great parks..." Second, most readers prefer first person, and I write from that perspective a lot too, but it makes it harder to relate what everybody's thinking. What was going on with Elizabeth? We're never really sure what her motives or innermost thoughts were.

Keep writing.

I did enjoy it.

Jedd Clampett