All Comments on 'Emails from an Affair Pt. 01'

If it's supposed to be an e-mail, it should be in the past tense saying how happy I am about what we did together, and/or future tense saying what we will do together next time and how I am looking forward to it.

An e-mail can't really be present tense. You can't write the e-mail at the same time as you are doing all the things you are writing about.

Present tense second person writing doesn't really work very well for something like an erotic story. Addressing "you" asks your reader to put himself/herself in the place of the person you are addressing. Since the "you" here is female, many (most?) of your readers can't do that because they are male.

Second-person present-tense writing works well for cookbooks and maintenance manuals, but not much else.

I'm sorry that I have only just read your story, Eroticlit, as I see that you have written several further episodes and I assume that the same style has been used with those.

Lue