Embracing the Tension Ch. 03

Ryan wrapped his hand around Erik's dick, lightly at first, as if relearning the length and weight of the organ. The touch felt like fire and Erik couldn't help buck his hips a little, even as his mind whirled with doubt. Did he live up to Ryan's memories of him? His hands fell to his side and landed on Ryan's shin. His fingers tightened on Ryan's legs, straining not just against the pleasure of Ryan's touch.

"Shit. I forgot how big you are."

The words added fuel to Erik's doubts.

"We don't have to—"

"No, it's just..." Ryan's eyes met his. "I haven't bottomed since..." He confessed with a whisper, his hand still teasing Erik's cock.

Since they had done porn together, Erik heard Ryan's unspoken words. The knowledge caused a surge of blood to rush toward his groin and his cock jumped in Ryan's hand. Erik laid himself down again, wrapping himself more snuggly around Ryan.

He had always been amazed at how much Ryan opened himself up all those years ago. Ryan had given so much, was so vulnerable, and Erik never really understood why. But it was what had drawn Erik to the man in the first place, and had made Erik fall—

No, it was too early to think of four letter words of that type. He may have flirted with the idea three years ago, but it had only been three weeks since they reconnected. He can't have fallen for anything in three weeks.

Still the idea lingered in his mind, paralyzing Erik as he clung to Ryan.

Want thrummed through his body, so intense that it defied the definition of want—it was need. Erik needed Ryan, needed to be inside him, connected to him, to look into those chocolate-brown eyes as they came together. But the thought running through his mind held him hostage—what if he loved Ryan but Ryan didn't love him back?

"Erik?"

Erik just buried his face deeper into the crook of Ryan's neck.

"Hey, you okay?"

Erik took a shuddering breath and tried to pull himself back together. Sandalwood and musk, Ryan's arms around him—he focused on these things until his body's response started to drown out the voices in his head. He pressed kisses along Ryan's neck, his jaw, until he reached an earlobe decorated with a simple black earring.

How could he have forgotten about the earring? Erik pulled it between his lips, his teeth catching on the small piece of jewelry. Underneath him, Ryan gasped and arched up into him.

"Erik." Ryan moaned, his fingers digging into Erik's back.

Erik twirled the earring with his tongue, again and again as Ryan bucked under him and the sound of his name dissolved into incomprehensive whimpers.

Erik let the earlobe slip out of his mouth and blew a stream of air across the wet flesh. A cry caught in Ryan's throat, the rawness of it striking Erik deep in his gut. He didn't know if Ryan could ever love him, but at that very moment, the need on Ryan's face, in his voice, was evident. If that was all Erik could have, then he would take it until it wasn't his anymore.

"Condoms." The word was rough through Erik's tightened throat. Ryan responded by glancing at the nightstand beside the bed.

When Erik found the supplies, he realized that both the box of condoms and the tube of lube were new and unopened. Ryan must have gone out to restock, the knowledge made Erik's heart swell but he pushed down the feeling before his mind started wandering off in directions he couldn't afford to explore.

He rolled a condom on and squeezed a dollop of lube onto his fingers. Ryan pulled his legs up, hands behind his knees. For someone who didn't regularly bottom, he sure was comfortable exposing himself like that. That willingness to be vulnerable had Erik pausing as he soaked in the feeling—who was he that Ryan would show him this?

"Erik?"

He blinked and locked eyes with Ryan.

Ryan lowered his legs and sat up. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"No, I want to." He shuddered when Ryan pushed a lock of hair off of Erik's forehead.

"Are you sure? Because it feel like—"

"I'm sure." Erik added more resolve to his voice. He had been waiting for this day for weeks now, he wasn't about to let his overactive mind steal it from him.

Ryan's lips caught his own in a soul-deep kiss. He also broke at that kiss, but Ryan pulled back just in time. "Okay."

Ryan lay back down and pulled his legs back up. Erik scooting in closer and traced his lube-slicked fingers around the wrinkly skin of Ryan's ass. He took his time, watching as the muscle clenched and relaxed against his massage. When he finally pressed the tip of one finger inside, Ryan let out a hissing moan.

"Yes, give it to me."

Ryan tilted his hips for a better angle and Erik worked his finger deeper, awed that a part of himself was inside Ryan's body. Soon a second finger joined the first, then a third joined the other two. It was tight and Ryan's muscles weren't fully relaxed, but he was open to Erik in the most vulnerable way possible.

"Give me your dick." Ryan reached for him, fingers pulling on his arm.

"Are you sure?" Erik asked even as he settled himself into position. He knew he was big—that was what made him such a huge success as a porn star—and he wasn't convinced Ryan was prepped enough.

"Yes, just give me that thing."

Ryan's hand closed around Erik's cock and guided it toward his ass. It took a few tries before the head popped inside and they both held still as Ryan breathed through the pain. It almost felt like Ryan's ass was going to cut off the tip of his dick; Erik couldn't imagine what Ryan was feeling, stretched so wide.

When Ryan opened his eyes, they were filled with the heavy haze of lust. For him, Erik realized, though the idea seemed too good to be true. He leaned forward, capturing Ryan's lips and as he worked his tongue inside Ryan's mouth, he also worked his dick into Ryan's ass. It was a long, slow ride, and by the time he'd bottomed out, they were both trembling.

"I'm not going to last long," Ryan whispered, his voice so raw the words were garbled.

"Neither am I." Erik admitted, Ryan's body was too hot and tight for him to drag things out.

"Then give it to me, Erik. Give me everything."

Everything—if Ryan only knew what everything meant to Erik.

Erik snapped his hips forward and Ryan cried out, arching up to meet the thrust. They set a fast pace, propelled on by an urgency that mirrored their slow start. The sound of their sex was highlighted by Ryan's incoherent mumblings, a soundtrack that drove them toward completion.

Bracing himself above Ryan with one hand, Erik reached for Ryan's dick with his other and jerked him off to the rhythm of their hips. Like Ryan said, it didn't take long. Ryan yelled as he tensed and ropes of come shot from his dick.

Erik's own dick was caught in the vice of Ryan's ass and with a couple of extra thrusts, he followed Ryan over the cliff.