Embracing the Tension Ch. 04

"Thanks for having me here this weekend," Erik said in a half whisper.

"Mmm," Ryan responded. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, I did. You've got a great family."

Ryan sighed again and stretched in Erik's arms, setting body parts rubbing against each other in a way that was waking up more than just Erik's mind.

"Do you miss your family?" Ryan asked.

They hadn't talked about this since the day at the aquarium when he first told Ryan. It wasn't something he liked to talk about. What happened had happened, and no amount of talking was going to change that.

Erik shrugged, not entirely ready to admit that he did miss them. A lot.

"You were so close to them. You must miss them."

"Sometimes," was all Erik could give.

The silence that followed said volumes about what Ryan thought of that answer.

"I just didn't think they'd react so badly," Erik said after several long minutes. "I mean, yeah, I always knew they were conservative, but I'd never heard them say anything explicitly homophobic. They've always been about loving people and being gracious and forgiving, and all that crap. Even when friends of theirs got divorced because of some affair, they'd always been supportive of both sides. They were always like, 'Hate the sin, but love the sinner!'"

Erik fell silent. He had never meant to say any of those words despite the fact that they had floated around in his head for months. Because what good were those words now?

He hadn't realized he was shaking until Ryan tightened his arms around him. Erik forced himself to take deep breaths until the warmth from Ryan's body eased the trembles.

"I'm so sorry," Ryan said just before he pressed a kiss against Erik temple. Erik leaned into that kiss, clung to it as a lifeline that kept his head above water.

"It's okay. It's fine." Erik wasn't sure who he was trying to convince. He wasn't sure he convinced either of them.

Ryan looked like he wanted to say something, but no words came, for which Erik was grateful because the less time he spent dwelling on his family situation, the better.

"I don't want to leave." He felt it at the very core of his being. New York felt like a cold, empty place after a weekend with Ryan.

"I don't want you to leave, either."

They both tightened their hold on each other as if by holding on tightly enough they could prevent Erik from leaving.

It had been a wonderful weekend, one of the best in recent memory, if Erik was honest. It hadn't just been fun, it had also been easy, every second of it. Being with Ryan was easy; talking was easy; sitting in silence with him was easy. Even lying in bed, holding each other, and having deep, dark words spill out of his mouth felt easier than Erik would have expected.

Ryan's family had made him feel welcomed, and spending his nights in bed with Ryan felt like he had come home. And now, he didn't want to leave.

"Are we really going to do this?" Erik asked. For him, this weekend had been much more than just a fun visit with lots of food and a chance to get his rocks off. And he knew it was the same for Ryan, too. But the implications of the weekend were far-reaching, and the thought of a long-distance relationship was scary.

Ryan grinned his lopsided grin, but thankfully didn't shrug. "I think so. I'd like to try at least."

Ryan's words set Erik's heart on fire. If Ryan was willing to try, then so was he. Because what they'd discovered with each other was special; Erik had known it all those years ago. And not everyone got a second chance. If this was their second chance, Erik wasn't about to throw it away.

He leaned in for a kiss, pouring all the fire he felt into his heart into that kiss. Ryan's answering whimper thrilled him.

"When's your flight again?" Ryan asked when they broke for air, his voice thick with desire.

"Not till the afternoon," Erik answered.

"Good." He leaned in for a second kiss, this time with lots of tongue and accompanied by roaming hands.

Erik had a feeling he knew how they were spending their morning.