All Comments on 'End of an Affair'

Classic tale of years of getting to comfortable with routine that the relationship becomes an unconscious habit leading to a complete disconnect

At some point one, or both, stopped really communicating their thoughts, needs and feelings. Nearly a tragedy. The wife here has major blame here in that she suffered in silence thereby creating, and exacerbating pain over the loss of intimacy.

The husband is equally guilty of falling into a lifeless but where he practically forgot he had a wife.

A story about a lying, cheating wife, who made her husband into a cuck, and never saw a problem for 10 months. What a loser of a story about a loser of a wife. one star

A build up to a let down... as flat as a tack!!!

Cheating never helps a marriage no matter what bullshit the cheater comes up with to justify it

Ick. No one really enjoys a story where an evil (or at least a selfish, bad) person "wins". Sadly this is all too realistic. While married men are 50% more likely to cheat (29% of at least one extramarital affair by their 50s vs 19% for married women), married women have much longer affairs on average (6 months vs 2 months). As such it is rather common that cheating wives form an emotional, even romantic attachment to their cheating partner. Not surprising when of such length. Also given that the most common reason for a married women to step out of her marriage is because she feels neglected, unwanted, or not paid attention; meaning they seek emotional attachment just not sex when the cheat, and the affair goes on for many months. There is no doubt the affair would have continued if Byron had not died. So she her grief in silence, and went back to her husband after her post affair self rationalizations. Of course her marriage to Rich will never be the same. Even if Rich never learns the truth, she has emotionally hamstrung her marriage. During her 10.month affair, she let the fires of her marriage turn to embers that were barely lit and nearly extinguished. And that is solely on her. While Rich may feel things are better, her guilt will forever undercut their marriage, sapping it of strength, so it will never return to what is wrong as years ago, though to outward appearances, it may seem to be better taken at face value. But it will be forever wounded, and her own guilt will shade the marriage going forth even if she remains faithful going forward. All too realistic but also sad. Her selfishness in seeking emotional and physical comfort elsewhere for so long has irrevocably changed their marriage and the husband is clueless. Too bad, so sad. Don't cheat. To the MC: was it worth it? Answer: while part of her is riddled with guilt (means she is human), she still looks back fondly on her time with Byron and has rationalized that it helped her marriage with Rich. That is self deception of the highest order. But many people who cheat fall for that moral quagmire. Reprehensible but realistic.

Self centred bitch

I can't believe one idiot actually thinks it's good for a marriage to have an affair. Really? He actually thought it was pleasant. Wow, some people really are fucked up in the head.

So, a story about nothing BUT the complete selfishness of one woman, and the writers attempt to make it seem right, while making her own husband of 20+ years. She had NO regard when she "Crossed that line" of cheating with her husband. How it just felt "Right" when she did it, and justified it in her own mind, destroying her relationship with her spouse. Regardless of how she went from that moment on, the "Dirty laundry" she carried will always be a poison to her marriage. The fact that she hid it for 10 months, and continues to hide with without ever being something as simple as being HONEST to her husband tells that there is nothing left in her marriage. She has lied (by omission) and cheated against her husband. This is nothing but another cuck story, with a different name. Only saving grace to this whole story is that Julie's thought process is actually very realistic to current times. Just goes to show how our culture is fading, as no one respects fidelity anymore.

Oh how nice for her! It all worked out swimmingly! /golfclap /sarcasm off.

I mean it isn't like her guilt of having the affair impacted her relationship with Rich. Nor is it probable that the intimacy she got from Byron over the previous 10 months meant that she was not investing in her relationship with Rich and let the intimacy dissolve. /sarcasm really off

A lot of people get away with cheating (sadly) but unlike the prior commenter, it is virtually never a good thing. The guilt (if no guilt then being a psychopath is never beneficial) poisons the marriage. The decreased intimacy, connection, and time spent instead with the cheating partner all sap the marriage and weaken it. It also meant target of opportunity cost because she was nearing an effort to improve things or to fix their issues nor communicate any concerns.

Their relationship afterwards might seem better at face value but she only stopped because of Byron's sudden death and in the long run their marriage has been weakened. There is no reason to believe that she wouldn't look again for an extramarital affair. Forget about if her husband found out. Saldy while men cheat more often than women, women tend to have linger affairs (avergae of 6 months) with more emotional connections and intimacy. May be part of why men are less likely to forgive upon discovery or confession.

She is a cheating wife who got away with it and her thinking that it helped her marriage is false and self aggrandizing instead of admitting it was a nasty betrayal. If she was serious about improving and healing her marriage without confession, she should get a therapist. Meh.

At least she realized that all the sex and intimacy she had Byron was not magical and she could get from Rivh, if they both worked at it. She just abdicated for 10 months and took the slutty way to meet her needs. Probably realistic but certainly not noble and unless she does something radical in re-committing and getting some therapy, their marriage will always have a corrupted part of its foundation that may be challenged or even fail in the future. Heck why do you think so many more gray divorces? The rot eventually becomes too much with kids on their own life paths out of the house.

I think it's pretty common for a 40 year old lady to have an affair and it's good for her marriage in the end. It is often better with a young man because there is no possible future. I find the analysis here very real and very pleasant. I found her solitude good, seeing the family supporting the poor widow and her children. I found it good to realize that it's the same as with her husband and that ultimately she has to do something to restore the love and connection.

Well the hubby should marry someone else and keep the slut as his concubine, faur enough.

A nice well written story but I would kill my wife if she acted out as the wife in this story.

Story pf a bad wife who thought she deserved more and took away 10 months from her husband. She should confess with honesty and then equality there is nothing in the marriage

What? One day she happens to go downstairs early and that’s all it takes to start healing their marriage? A little too simple of resolution.

Also, you need to brush up on your use of “I” and “me”. At least twice you used the word I when it should have been the word me.

Have read this story and I can say how selfish she was, she never wanted to work on their relationship, and the husband a total clueless wimp that no idea really, the total disrespect for her husband and her marriage. "He would never understand what _I_ gained from it - in fact if we did improve our own relationship, it would be as a direct result of my 10 months with Byron." Total and utter disrepect and selfishness on her part. She never tried to communicate with her husband about her needs before the affair. No she was looking just to farther divide the two and yes she had fallen in love with the other guy. Good thing its fiction I can't believe husband was a bank examiner as blind as be was.

What a wild ride. I love that you had Julie reflecting on her ownership of her part in the breakdown in her marriage and its redemption. Well done sir.

Typical selfish person. Instead of putting the time into healing her marriage, she invests heavily in a physical and emotional affair with Byron. Sigh. Just because a spouse doesn't know, doesn't mean that adultery by the other spouse is not poisoning the marriage. It starts subtle and becomes more and more pervasive. Ultimately she could have tried to fix her marriage, but her time, list, and intimacy with Byron slowly drained the life out of her marriage with Rich. She got lucky he never knew and that Byron died, ending their affair, forcing her to reconcile with Rich, with him being none the wiser as to why her turnaround. And she gets to live with the guilt. Sad, but realistic look at the damage and self fulfilling prophecy of adultery. There is a reason the Seventh Commandment forbids it...

To Anonymous re brake fluid –

Yes! I was hoping the same thing, to find hubby had murdered Blake.

Oh well. 🙂

Papa, you forgot the part about hubby draining his brake fluid.

Another whore who gets away with it. I hope the guilt eats her up. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Her affair helps her marriage.

Bullshit

As you wrote

If she had just worked with her husband a little no problem

And she had a love for her emotional connection with lover as you wrote

Love she took away from husband

I hope she had terrible guilt spasms until death. I kept hoping husband or other cheater's wife had caused accident

Realistic and well written but she gets away with it. Yeah she feels guilty (finally). And she finally realizes that she was just as much to blame for their lack of intimacy and sex. She went with Byron and just began to freeze her husband out, rationalizing her way through the affair, and not seeing how her own actions (or inactions) were strangling her marriage. Took her ten months. And meanwhile she and Byron cheated often. Developing inimtacies that were in some ways worse than the sex. She led a double life for 10 months. Wouldn't have stopped unless he had died. She eventually woke up from her adultery and claims she is reconnected. Her husband was too trusting. So she will carry it to her grave. Where she will be judged. Well written a realistic. This is sadly the norm. However, though their marriage may make it, her rationale that her affair saved their marriage is her taking pity on her sordid actions. She is a cheating wife. In most cases a long affair corrupts the marriage even if no discovery. Sigh.

Read again. Could’ve used a twist at then end with that long narrative. But really, author nailed the female viewpoint with the endless details, emotions and second guessing. A woman can easily communicate two minutes worth of information in twenty minutes.

Wow, an amazing story, probably the best I’ve read in a year. Five stars from me

Well written story about a vile woman.

Oh, man.

What a well written story that unfortunately has scored poorly because there was no discovery, no payback, nor any burning. Shame really that such a real slice of life isn't better rewarded. I really hope you can take solace in (some of) the comments because this was very good.

I suppose this probably happens more than ppl realizes

So the husband isn't a murderer...

4/6

Nato_

I kept waiting for the shoe to drop; never happened! That’s why 3 stars, could have been two, except for the art of the story, still disappointed no punishment.

Why couldn't she talk with her husband about their mundane life before her cheating partner croaked? story meandered along with the most concentration on the sex as opposed to the f'ed up relationship.

Story was very well written. unfortunately the content, especially near and at the end i just found vile. She gets to have an illicit affair, actually fall in love with guy (regardless of what she stated you read through it), miss her encounters with him, and still have her husband to fall back on. I truly hope someone else with writing skill ( definitely not me) takes this story and gives it the ending it deserves.

good realistic story. Well written. Cheating wife who got away with it. No compassion for a husband who is uninterested in a relationship with his wife,also he has to be brain dead or not care enough to have picked up on his wifes affair. No matter how devious women are in doing so, tell tales are there if you pay attention.

Story was well written and quite interesting. Julie was fortunate that her lover died in an accident, and then she quickly realized what she had with Rich was not all that bad and she needed to resurrect her failing marriage, which she did. Well done 5 stars

No, the story is good. The wife is lousy. Hope her husband leaves her for his mistress.

Why does she need an affair to appreciate her loving husband ????Stupid bitch (jaybee186) Lousy story

Knowing that it’s in the LW category, I thought it was a really great story…So the wife got away with a little something—what’s wrong with that. Maybe down the road she might share it, particularly if she got any sense that hubby might even be aroused..these things happen in marriage sometimes..My wife can often be bitchy…I like it that way..

"But at the time, I needed to be wanted, and Byron wanted me enough to work as hard as I did to make the affair happen." But she tried so hard to reintegrate intimacy in there relationship. I mean she bought lingerie for the first week after the boys went to college. What else is she gonna do jump her husbands bones like a sex starved shrew? She even by accidentally woke up early and poured him a coffee one morning and filled his thermos. Hope her guilt turns to cancer and eats her alive.

Don't think most of the readers/posters here understand that when a marriage is on its' last legs then strong emotions and violent actions like 'BTB' don't apply. This was a very well thought out story from the cheaters side; while not totally excusing her affair, reasons for it abound. If the husband spends his time deep into his TV, then how is she responsible for the lack of closeness?

What a cunt. And you wrote her to fit that word perfectly.

Well written, I'll give it that, and you really tried hard to make us feel for her, but in the end she was a cheating cunt.

So 5 for the writing, 2 for trying to make her cheating sound reasonable.

One of the best, well-written pieces I've seen on this site. This smacks of real-world, human interactions. You have written a believable, imperfect and honest character. You used no memes, tropes or clichés to move you plot along. VERY good and poignant story, one of fall and recovery, which is an age-old tale of we human creatures.

.

5/5+!!!

I kind of liked it, so I gave it a 4. I knew she wouldn't tell her husband that she cheated on him though. At least she learned what she was missing from her marriage besides trust. I doubt she ever realized she was cuckolding (not just cheating on) her husband for those 10 months either. And that's the real shame of it all. Typical of a cheater, only thinking about themselves, especially since she never planned on leaving Rich.

You're the type of person who thinks that it's perfectly fine to cheat on your spouse as long as they don't find out.

Yep got to admit she was a nasty bitch

Too bad the cheating whore wasn't with the ass Byron when he kissed the bridge. Rich has used goods now.

“ Realistic sounding story, but not my cup of tea.

“She has an affair. He dies. She feels guilty about the affair. She gets back with hubby. Meh...

“Now, if hubby comes home and has an evil glint in his eyes...?

“Mechnically well written, so points there.”

I gave it 3-stars.

Upon second read — it wasn’t a “meh...” story. the fact that it does sound realistic, and is well written, it really deserved 4-stars. I shouldn’t subtract a star just because the topic was not my cup of tea.

4-stars

One of the best.

Yeah, I knew: LW is full of BTB fans, but isn’t this the best end for Rich? One commenter wanted Rich to know and take action, to get part of his dignity back, but doesn’t he have his dignity intact because he never knew? Another wanted the wife to die of HIV, but wouldn’t that mean that both Rich and Gloria got it, too?

It ought to be obvious: not all affairs get discovered, though ten months is a long time to carry one on without someone else figuring it out. I’m guessing that this kind of thing happens a lot more than people think.

...in this shit story written by u..a minus 5

She is what we just call a twat.

Would’ve preferred to see her fucked over. What a bitch, a really horrible bitch.

She should have died with her lover.

Way too repetitive and drawn out. The main character is very unlikable and not relatable even with all the excuses you gave her. You didn't cover the hubby enough to justify anything in the story.

You kept having the main character say it wasn't about sex and that it was an intimacy thing but yet you kept going back to the sex thing over and over and flew past building the intimacy angle. Very poor character development and too many plot and storyline holes and errors.

This story was just a cringefest to read and not because of the plot or ending but because of the other issues I named.

Why give the stupid slut a happy ending? Didnt like this at all.

Nothing romantic here. If you get off on a woman shitting all over her devoted husband's love with a song in her heart, your gonna love this.

Jó történet,de legalább éreztethette volna ,hogy bűnhődni fog ez a k@rva,ha másképp nem ,hát az egyre növekvő bűntudat által,vagy egy felsőbb hatalom által,égjen pokolba az idők végezetéig!Van egy mondás,miszerint "bűn büntetlenül sosem marad"!Ámen!

I hate this cheating bitch even more this time. I'm glad Brian kissed the bridge, and I hope Rich is getting a little somewhere else.

It's too bad she doesnt die due to HIV!!

If that's true, her marriage is dead, it just doesn't know it yet.

Either she won't be able to handle the guilt and will have to get away from him or she'll have to confess thereby having him end it...

Or... she'll decide to stop feeling guilty - and then have another affair.

I really don't see it lasting for the long run.

for LW. Well written overall, and it provides some insight into something that undoubtedly happens in some marriages.

Way too believable. Perhaps her guilt is the best punishment, she'll feel the guilt until the next time. Oh, yes, there will be a next time and again. Signed: BTW

Too much detail and an awful story!

Wait how is not telling the husband taking responsibility?

the narcissism of the cheating slut seemed real

Woman spends twenty years bitching at her husband every time he tries for sex more often than she wants and then gets pissed when she finally wants more than the schedule she flogged into his soul and he doesnt magically know what she wants but refuses to ask for

She is NOT a good person. Still, the story is well written as a case in self reflection. It took her a terribly long time to realize that she contributed to her marital staleness. And although she wasn’t driving Byron at the time of his death, she WAS involved, perhaps partly responsible, if only because she contributed to his lateness. She WAS the reason he had to cover-up his lateness.

...to admire about any of the three main characters. In fact, the opposite is true. For its lack of excitement, this story is tediously long.

People making some of the comments don’t get it. This woman took the wrong path, in many ways by accident, to wake up the root cause of a stale relationship. In the end she took responsibility for her part, and worked to fix it. Her choice not to share the affair with her husband has a selflessness to it to avoid hurting him even though it may help her heal. I’m not sure I could do that, but I’m glad that’s how you took the story.

It makes me thankful my wife and I are very communicative (in truth, she does most of the talking) and after 47 years we are closer than ever with constant and varied intimacy. Thanks for writing this. I think you captured things perfectly.

A little long but still an entertaining read. Thanks for sharing.

I hate the wife,for what she did and what she is doing. I hope that someday her guilt causes her to self implode.

Why do wives who cheat on their husbands complain that their marriage is not as close as it should be? Don't they realize that what they are doing is burying the marriage? I hate the wife in this story, but I find her, sadly, very believable.

You will get extreme comments in the LW category - just like in amazon reviews, where the “1’s” and “5’s” are motivated enough to comment, while the “3’s” just move on to the next story. Sadly, I see that BTB’s outnumber the Insight Team by at least 2-to1. I’m hoping that it’s just the BTBs like to comment.

I give your story a five: it was very realistic; I could see the couple’s relationship getting locked into a “he doesn’t care/she doesn’t listen” mindset very easily.

Anyone that favours a BTB should take a long, hard listen to themselves and check for an over-rigid mindset, and if you still have a partner, buy them something nice and ask them out on a date.

Nice to think of him splattered all over the windscreen! Bet it was a closed box Job!

Hope her guilt stays with her always!

No excuse for betrayal! Only self serving reasons.

I was amazed at the venom of some of the comments to this story. I found all three of the main characters quite realistic and, if not completely sympathetic, at least believable. People do get into a rut and into complacent roles that are not easy to break out of and do things that are not typical for their true personalities or life roles. To call the female protagonist a whore, a slut and evil person is ridiculous. She's a woman in a rut who wants something she knows she's missing and hasn't the incentive to break out of that rut and confront her husband with her needs for more intimacy. She learns the hard way and maybe she can keep her awful secret and recover the loving relationship she once had with her husband.

The author avoids the trap of something dramatic, like finding out that the husband actually knew about the affair and arranged for the lover's death and the story goes along without such drama. This is what might actually happen in life and although it is unrealistic to imagine that the woman will forget about the affair or her lover she does seem to understand that the best thing for her is to put the memories in a secret storage place and work to recovering the most she can from her life and marriage with her husband. This is what real life is about. As the old saying goes, when you break eggs the best you can do is make an omelet. 5*

He's married to a cheating slut and doesn't know it. Evil wins again!

would have been better if rich and gloria would have gotten together

Character developement my ass. She is and always will be a lying deceitful cheating cunt.

Who rather than work on her marital issues spread her legs for unprotected sex with another man.

No empathy nor sympathy. She is a whore cunt.

Only good way to end this story is to find out that his brakes had been bled.

Then have husband allude to that. Leave her wondering and fearful for the rest kf her cunt life.

The man she married would always be second. That's the tragedy of this story. The husband is without a clue where he stands in her eyes. Number 2. She's most likely to have another affair. She should tell her husband to allow him the choice of deciding whether he wants to stay with her or not. For her to deny him that option gives one a small peek into her mindset. That's heartbreaking. Hence, the low rating by the BTB crowd. Beautifully crafted story. *****

How the heck could you score this story so low?

Yes. it's a rhetorical question. You want blood, gore and suffering, and you want the the cheated upon to administer righteous judgement. Or you want the cheated upon to be a wimp and submit to the cheater's desires. Or you want a dirty, vicious confrontation between the two, followed by a long romantic reconciliation.

What you OBVIOUSLY don't want is a well crafted story, with developed characters, a good message to ponder, and realistic behavior. This isn't your fantasy, and you're killing the author because this story doesn't feed your kink.

I wish I could wave a magic wand at these aggrieved works and boost their score by a point.

Great character study. I liked it a lot. Thanks

But I hate people that get off Scot free. Do the deed, what ever it is and pay the price. There are too many people in this country who don't pay their price. My ex told me once "Don't get even stay even". Staying even is hard and it has it's own price too.

... where Byron's wife got a hold of her husband's computer, saw their e-mails and stormed into the cheater's house, confronting her in front of her husband, since she lacks the balls to tell him the truth.

Meh, what am I saying, it would probably end up in another RAAC.

I hate them so fucking much, GEEZ.

Read this again with a different mindset, and I'm happy to say I was completely wrong with my first impression. Another excellent tale with complexities that are fleshed out very well.

What fun it would have been if: a) the Stoddards told her the house they wanted to see was her own address (order placed by her husband) or: b) her husband saying after he came home after his travel - good, are you past your loss of Byron?

Now she feels the quilt, and it bothers her. But she makes the decision to keep it to herself and enjoy her husband, now that her cheating bastard is dead. The husband doesn't get a choice about what he wants to do. Tell him, and then you have nothing left. Damn you and all cheaters to the hell of your own guilt.

It's rare that a cheater self-reflects like that. Cheating is a very selfish and toxic action.

But at the end of the day, her guilt wont be a real punishment. It's just her wagging her own finger at herself. She's her own boss, she can punish or reward herself on a whim.

I do agree though that her telling him now is probably a wasted effort. Either he knows and has dealt with it somehow, or he doesn't know. The least she can do is take her sins to the grave. Even confessing at this point would be selfish on her part. But she would ACTUALLY be punished if she did confess, and ultimately that is why she will not confess. It has nothing to do with a noble sacrifice, she's a selfish toxic person. But she did grow up....a little bit. Enough to be considered a young adult I'd wager...almost wise enough for a relationship.

It was well written, but I would have preferred a different ending where the husband revealed that he knew about her affair. It would have been interesting if he knew precisely why she was grieving, but said nothing because he was having an affair of his own... and had no intention of stopping just because her lover was dead.

There's something quite satisfying in those stories where a wife gets greedy and has a husband and a lover, then the lover dies and the husband kicks her to the curb, leaving her with no one.

She gave up on her marriage and threw all her emotional energy into her affair with Byron. That she cheated on her faithful husband with no consequences was an unpleasant ending to the story.

Laptop, she is suffering, immensely. She is suffering internally with guilt. Something she can never tell her husband about. I hope it doesn't consume her. If it did come out, it probably would have been better.

With all the internal stress she probably needs to see a therapist to help her with the feelings, which is preventing her from being totally open with Rich. I do hope she can handle it for the long run, otherwise she'll get hit twice for the affair: Once for Byrons death and once with her death or the possible death of her marriage.

The guilt she's suffering is way over the top of the punishment scale. I hope her externalizing it toward making Rich and her happy helps.

A well written story from a different focus. Well done.

5* from me. Excellent story. Not every one needs to be a BTB or sharing story.

She has an affair. He dies. She feels guilty about the affair. She gets back with hubby. Meh...

Now, if hubby comes home and has an evil glint in his eyes...?

Mechnically well written, so points there.

Oh,She feels guilt. My dying ass; once a cheater always a cheater. Your well thought out character will find another man to fuck, just for a different reason next time!

Wow!

I know it’s human nature to judge stories based on our own likes and dislikes but in cases like this it’s too bad we can’t simply judge on the merits of a well written, well thought out, and well executed story.

Yes, she got away with cheating on her husband. There was no retribution, no revenge, no consequences for either cheating party--that right there is enough for 1 star in the minds of many. I’m sure it was the driving force behind the low score but this was an excellent introspective into the mind of someone who loses their lover then has to deal with not being able to truly morn or acknowledge her loss, while at the same time, contend with her guilt.

I gave it 5 stars. I wish I could give it more.

Sounds like if she had up the affection and participated more in Rich's life affair may have not started. Now she carries this guilt and Bryan is dead. I bet Rich had been awakened to blow jobs she would have gotten more sex.

when hiding from others what wasn't supposed to be TK U MLJ LV NV

She makes CONSCIOUS decision NOT to talk to her husband about her feelings and concerns.

So typical of the SUPPOSEDLY communicative gender.

The fact that she is responsible for children not having a father does not seem to bother her.

Author portrays husband as idiot. Her 180 degree change would certainly cause him to wonder...and do a little contemplating.

He would soon conclude she was trying to connect after having ended an affair. Perfect for him to begin using his travel to do some connecting of his own.

Now that is romantic, papa

She's waiting for Rich to arrive home from his business trip but he never shows. Instead a week later she gets a package in the mail with photos and videos of her lover and her fucking along with Rich's smashed wedding ring. She checks the accounts and finds they have been thoroughly looted. The house has a new second mortgage that is coming due and Rich quit his job the week he supposedly left for the business trip. With a weeks head start, he's in the wind heading for a new life without a cheating slut to lie and cheat on him daily.

Now that's the way to end a story like this, with the man regaining a measure of his dignity.

Not quite sure what to think. I hate the affair thing, but it did have something of a happy ending, and that helped.

in a happy place.....BUT what happens when....or if.....her husband finds out she fucked another guy? And liked it. (She got away with and will feel empowered to do it again.)

she has that knowledge before and after the affair, and what it takes her cheating to give her the courage to communicate to her husband. good story tho. i did realize that there wouldnt be stories like these without stupid weak wives. but damn u guys write these wives like they idgits

I don't think so. Only when her lover dies does she make an effort with her husband. Seems like a shrewd move, but the time for guilt has long passed. I think what she's feeling is trepidation.

You captured a depressing situation perfectly. Affairs are never the solution, they are the result of failed effort in relationships. So many people think the spark of new love when they first get together will last a lifetime. Love, real love includes the boring familiarity of long term relationship. In every marriage sex moves from the front burner to the back as the demands and complexity of the marriage endures the test of time. We become less interesting as we become more familiar. I compare it to watching your favorite movie. Your attention is peaked the first time as the story unfolds. Once that familiarity is achieved you can’t regain it. You need a new story.

That is where a persons or couples lives need to reinvent themselves. New adventures, new interests. It’s not about recapturing as much as reinventing. Take up a sport together like tennis or anything new. Learn to cook or take up photography. People become restless and bored because they offer nothing new. That is why couples open their marriages or start swinging. New situations new agventure. We all crave it. Take a vacation not a lover.