All Comments on 'Enslavement'

This may be your first attempt at erotic writing, but you definitely have mastered the usage of basic grammar and ?more-than-two-syllable-words?. Please view your attempt as a success and get on with the next offering. Thanks for sharing your great talent!

This is really good stuff. Please, continue.

..I would love to have you continue this story, great start and this could go a long way... the learning of life this girl could provide, could be a service to the world.. [LOL]

you could have Eowyn be 'taken' by her Roman warrior from behind, a way for her to be shown he is in control of her and she will not try to struggle to escape their bed! And then in chapter three....

seriously continue this. Other soldiers could become jealous of them, try and steal her for themselves...or he could become mad if she shows attention to another Roman soldier who visits. Lost of possibilities here and you have done such a great job at writing a story one wants to see continued! Great first effort and truly well done!

Very beautifully written story. And very hot! I enjoyed how Antonious became her savior. Thanks for the wonderful job!

Lots of potentials for sequel and I see from reading other?s comments I?m not the only one who wants more of Antonious and Eowyn. Any possibilities?

You loose marks for this!!

another reverance of the virgin story.

the day will come when people will learn every woman has a vagina. Her incredible secrets don't lie between her legs. They are in her head, heart and personality. They influence how she uses what's between her legs. whats to say eowyn isn't a prude at heart?

note: this was typed with one hand so i did enjoy the story.

I'm sorry, being the smart ass that I am, I had to respond to the trousers comment. I am aware that Romans preferred to where togas and the like to display their status in society. However, Antonius was returning from a long campaign in Gaul (Northern Europe), where it was much to chilly to wear what is essentially a dress. Romans often adopted the customs and dress of the natives in areas of campaign, especially over longer periods. It took Caesar 6 years to conquer Gaul, and another 3 to tame numerous rebellions, so Antonius has been away from Rome for some time. He bought Eowyn on his first day returning from the Campaign, so it makes sense for continuity's sake that he is still wearing trousers (trust me, I actually struggled a while with what he should be wearing). So there! hehe

Thanks to everyone else for all of your wonderful comments and votes. Due to popular demand, there will be more chapters to this story, which I hope you'll enjoy as much as the first. Now I must get back to writing...

Delicious! I trust that Antonius breaks Eowyn in well, turning her into a compliant pleasure slave who will serve her master well on her back and on her knees. I trust that they will have many amorous adventures together.

One _small_ problem, though. "Antonius lost all semblance of patience then, tearing at his trousers (?)"Romans considered trousers a ridiculous barbarian garment. Antonius might have torn off his toga, his tunic, or the loincloth beneath either of them, but trousers are a discordant note.

Otherwise, this is wall-to-wall brilliance. I hope to see more soon. I wish you well.

Hot and steamy, the perfect virgin story. It would have been red hot except your lapse of trousers...this marks the reality of needing to research. Great grammar and excellent plot but pay attention to spellcheck...a couple of mistakes here and there...but really excellent story content.

I thought you did a great job, the story was quite arousing and absorbing. However, I must point out that the next time you write a story, please proofread it before you submit it. There were grammatical and present/past tense errors that kind of detracted from the story a bit.

I would love to see a continuation of this storyline. My second major is in the classics and so your story has exceptional appeal for me. Fix a few grammatical and spelling errors and you have a top story!

Maybe just coincidence, but this story sounded an awful lot like the book "Enslaved" by Virginia Henley. Especially the reference to the goddess Diana, a prominent parallel allusion in the book. Even the descriptions and wording scream Henley, not to mention the titles are nearly identical. While I know it was not plagiarized, it certainly seems borrowed from. Try again with an original idea, as you are no Virginia Henley.

Good beginning. Can excuse a few flaws. Keep writing to make me milk

I absolutly loved it. It is almost exactly like a Johanna Lindsey book I have read. Only different places. But the description of the Eowyn was the same as in the book. You should definly have another part to this story. Wonderful job. I hope to read more of your work.

Awe of you if this if your first try at writing. It was beautifully written and hey, even the best of us make a mistake every once in a while. Writing historical literature, even erotica can be a bitch when it comes to what was when and where and how. But I am very impressed with your writing skills and with the skills you have of gripping a reader and not releasing. Excellent.

Danielle

Great story set in historical times which is my favorite erotica!!

Great story!!

Perhaps my hopes were too high. In any case, I thought your story was absolutely boring. I expected it to be better, considering you COPIED Virginia Henley's Enslaved. Henley's story was full of passion and emotion; your story was full of shit.

I enjoyed this tale very much. Actually I think you could expand on it creating a multi chaptered story - if you do, stay true to your characters while expanding your plot. You should be proud of the story you created. Congrats & don't let the anonymous hate get to you...ill spirited criticism from no one should mean nothing.

why

This story is awesome, keep writin!

i iked your story very much. please write more :)

Kudos for such good writing - you kept it simple yet quite vivid, still. Please do write more stories on this time period!

......I want Antonius to ravish me. Loved the story. I agree with the other posts, I want to know what happens between them. Come on put us out of our misery. Give us more!!!!!

This was wonderfully written! You used great English, and I really got lost in the story.

This was beyond anything I've seen on any of these free-post sites. You should develop the story more or write something longer and try to get it published. I've read stuff way worse that this from Ellora's Cave and Harlequin.

I loved and some how doubt the copy from some book crap, ingore them, its bullshit. And who gives a damn about pants or not. The story rocks. I'm reading them agruing about it and laughing my ass off.

i loved it please continue with these two characters. Props for historical content!!!!!

Very well written. But Not really Non Consent, is it ? So, looking forward to whats to come !