by susanstoryteller
If this continues, you need an editor. Good meat, but the bones need work.
Totally missed the details. What a shame... There are good ideas in it.
There is so much here.. it could be flushed out into something great. You have potential for a longer multi-chapter piece :)
Slow down and take your time. Develop your characters you could have a great following.
Keep writing.
I love the absolute submission of Erica. The difference between her vanilla corporate life and her sexuality!
What a slut! Brilliant!