All Comments on 'Erotic Modelling'

by JeanCFNM

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  • 2 Comments
Epiphany_JonesEpiphany_Jonesover 7 years ago
A little too "clinical" and "impersonal".

Loosen up. This reads almost like a researcher's notes: it's all impersonal and matter-of-fact. If Ikea had a diagram for erotica, this story would provide the text.

ptebadenptebadenabout 7 years ago
You always leave the sordid details to our imagination

It would be better if you wouldn't.

If your story continues at this rate, Allan grows old and dies in a few chapters.

Do not be in such a harry. You are who has to tell us the details. Describe us the scenes, enjoy writing about them and so we will enjoy them.

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userJeanCFNM@JeanCFNM
I'm a middle aged housewife from the UK Allan is my husband and although embellished most of the stories draw on life however tenuously. ages to do one story then churn out two at once....i have to admit that sometimes i think i am writing one i read 10 years ago. If so i apo...